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Spending Thoughts: Do You Prefer to Have, Or to Do?

By Lily Bradshaw September 06, 2024 Lifestyle

Most of us have a certain amount of disposable income that we need to decide how, and where, to spend. There are always a million things to spend your money on, but basically, it comes down to two things. Do you want to have things, for example, big house, nice car, new clothes, etc.? Or do you want to do things, for example go to a restaurant, watch a show, go on holiday?

Sometimes it is a difficult choice, and we may be torn between the two. I guess then it must come down to what you need, rather than what you want. If you need a new car, you might not be able to have a holiday. Most of us are making these types of choices on a regular basis.

Having

Having things is always nice. We can treat ourselves to a lovely dress, new pair of shoes, etc.; it makes us feel good, and don’t we all deserve it! But how long does that feeling of elation from your purchase really last? How many things have you bought in the past, that you no longer use or wear; that are lying somewhere in a drawer or at the back of your wardrobe? I think that is why car boots are so busy!

Doing

Doing things is a little different. When you do things, you create memories. If you go on holiday, you can remember where you went, what you did, how you felt. You can recall the weather, the sunsets, the people you met, the experiences you had. If you go to the theatre, you can remember the play, the storyline, the actors, the atmosphere.

What’s the Difference?

When youhavethings, they are your responsibility. You have to store them, look after them and, probably, eventually decide to get rid of them. The money you spent on buying them is gone, they are of little value, either financially or emotionally.

When you do things, you are experiencing new things, you are making memories, you are learning, perhaps meeting new people, developing your skills. You can take these memories out any time you want and re-live them over and over again. That sounds like good value for money to me. :)

Cost Per Memory

Over the years, I have come to value things differently. I call it ‘my cost per memory’. For example, you are sitting in the most idyllic location, perhaps watching the sunset over the ocean. You order a drink, and it is quite a bit more than you would normally pay. How does that make you feel? Are you ok with the higher price, or does it make you feel a little exploited?

The way I see it is… how often do you remember going to the coffee shop in the high street, or having a glass of wine in your local pub? Will you remember it next month or next year? If I am enjoying the moment in a wonderful location, and the memory will stay with me for a long time, then for me, it is worth the extra money. :)

Different Perspectives

I am sure some of you would rather have than do, and that is absolutely fine. You may drive up to your house and get so much pleasure, the cost of owning it is worth it. Or you may wear an expensive dress that makes you feel a million dollars. That’s fantastic!

For me, give me a pair of flip flops and an exciting destination any day. I love adventures! I enjoy the excitement of not knowing who I will meet, or what is going to happen. But we are all different and that is what makes this world, and this community, so truly wonderful! Thank you for being part of it. :)

Let’s Start a Conversation:

What do you prefer, having or doing? Do you pay for things based on ‘cost per memory’? What memory can you share of something you bought or did that has stayed with you over the long term?

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Michele

I like both the having and doing. I have been on a renovation journey for
the past 4 years…little by little. The last bit is purchasing LR/DR furniture to make this the living space I have wanted. Trying not to be overwhelmed with all I wish to buy. This is the Having.
This year, I have decided to be open to new experiences by doing things I have never done before or not for a long time. This is the Doing.
I am blessed by it all.
I realize that you can’t take things with you when you depart. The experiences I feel that I can hold on to when there is nothing else.
I am gonna enjoy the hell out of them!

lilybradshaw88

Hi Michele, Thanks for joining the conversation. That did make me smile :) You seem to have worked out what’s important to you and going for it! I think if you can work out a way to have both, why not? Have a lovely weekend. Lily x

The Author

Lily Bradshaw has had an interesting and varied career. Twenty years working as a psychotherapist and part time lecturer, followed by 20 years of writing educational courses. Now she is enjoying semi retirement writing books and articles that interest her, mostly about having fun and enjoying life. She has spent the last 2 years travelling solo.

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