Most of us have a certain amount of disposable income that we need to decide how, and where, to spend. There are always a million things to spend your money on, but basically, it comes down to two things. Do you want to have things, for example, big house, nice car, new clothes, etc.? Or do you want to do things, for example go to a restaurant, watch a show, go on holiday?
Sometimes it is a difficult choice, and we may be torn between the two. I guess then it must come down to what you need, rather than what you want. If you need a new car, you might not be able to have a holiday. Most of us are making these types of choices on a regular basis.
Having things is always nice. We can treat ourselves to a lovely dress, new pair of shoes, etc.; it makes us feel good, and don’t we all deserve it! But how long does that feeling of elation from your purchase really last? How many things have you bought in the past, that you no longer use or wear; that are lying somewhere in a drawer or at the back of your wardrobe? I think that is why car boots are so busy!
Doing things is a little different. When you do things, you create memories. If you go on holiday, you can remember where you went, what you did, how you felt. You can recall the weather, the sunsets, the people you met, the experiences you had. If you go to the theatre, you can remember the play, the storyline, the actors, the atmosphere.
When youhavethings, they are your responsibility. You have to store them, look after them and, probably, eventually decide to get rid of them. The money you spent on buying them is gone, they are of little value, either financially or emotionally.
When you do things, you are experiencing new things, you are making memories, you are learning, perhaps meeting new people, developing your skills. You can take these memories out any time you want and re-live them over and over again. That sounds like good value for money to me. :)
Over the years, I have come to value things differently. I call it ‘my cost per memory’. For example, you are sitting in the most idyllic location, perhaps watching the sunset over the ocean. You order a drink, and it is quite a bit more than you would normally pay. How does that make you feel? Are you ok with the higher price, or does it make you feel a little exploited?
The way I see it is… how often do you remember going to the coffee shop in the high street, or having a glass of wine in your local pub? Will you remember it next month or next year? If I am enjoying the moment in a wonderful location, and the memory will stay with me for a long time, then for me, it is worth the extra money. :)
I am sure some of you would rather have than do, and that is absolutely fine. You may drive up to your house and get so much pleasure, the cost of owning it is worth it. Or you may wear an expensive dress that makes you feel a million dollars. That’s fantastic!
For me, give me a pair of flip flops and an exciting destination any day. I love adventures! I enjoy the excitement of not knowing who I will meet, or what is going to happen. But we are all different and that is what makes this world, and this community, so truly wonderful! Thank you for being part of it. :)
What do you prefer, having or doing? Do you pay for things based on ‘cost per memory’? What memory can you share of something you bought or did that has stayed with you over the long term?
I enjoy both. If I’m out with friends, I know the dinner and drinks will be pricey. I love travel and since I’m retired and have the time, I go. Life is good and I’m blessed!!
Hi Joyce, thanks for joining the conversation. Sounds like you have created a wonderful life! I didn’t expect my. sixties to be like this and I am truly grateful for everything I do. Lily x
I definitely enjoy adventures more than things per se, but it has come o the point where I can do neither. And my house is in need of repairs, my appliances are aging and will need to be replaced soon. I can’t afford it if one of our cars has a major expense. So, right now, we are floating along just hoping nothing major happens and trying to keep up.
Hi Jacquelyn, thanks for joining the conversation. I am sorry to hear this, life can be tough sometimes, I have certainly experienced this myself. There have been times when, financially, my life has been hard, but somehow things turn around. Floating along sounds a lovely way of putting things :). In my experience most things sort themselves out, even when we think they won’t. Lily x
Have you considered downsizing? A Roommate?
Over my life time I have spent a great deal of money on travel and I don’t regret a penny of it. I have traveled solo, with friends and family. All have been wonderful. My favorite trip was one I did to Northern Spain with the travel group, Road Scholar. This is their Camino de Santiago de Compostela. Wonderful hiking and great memories. Some days the hike was challenging but I enjoyed every moment and cherish those memories.
Hi Marta, Thanks for joining the conversation.I am so pleased you have travelled and enjoyed yourself. I always find travel great value for money when you consider how often you recall your memories! I have spent. a lot of time in Spain and been to Santiago, I was hoping to walk it this year. However, I had a little accident last year so will have to put it on hold for a while. I hope you had a fabulous time hiking, and remembering your fabulous adventures! Lily x
I am hoping to go to Santiago in January to visit an English friend who moved there from Madrid a few years ago.
Hi Linda, Thanks for joining in. It is a truly stunning place to visit . Some people just finishing their walks, others meeting people who are walking, tourists, locals, just the most relaxed, but electric atmosphere :) Lily x
Why can we have both? We do need the basics to thrive. Memories are so precious and valuable. I try to balance the two to live a fulfilling life.
Hi Evelyn, thanks for joining in. I agree, and after the basics that’s exactly what I do. My memories are so important to me, especially as I age. Although I do recognise some people are not so fortunate, and may have to make tough decisions. Lily x
I prefer doing versus having. On a trip to Alaska I took a helicopter ride that landed on a glacier. It was pricey. My husband chose to not participate because of the price. I told him I will eat beans and rice for a month but I’m doing this. No regrets. I have the memory of that experience. Wonderful.
Hi Lisa, thanks for joining the conversation.How wonderful! I have never been to Alaska but its on my list and I would definitely do the helicopter ride if I ate rice and beans for a month! That was a great cost per memory :) Lily x