Humor

After nearly four decades of teaching elementary school, I’ve come to realize that I am, proudly and undeniably, the tip of the iceberg. I know just enough about just about everything to be helpful, mildly impressive, and occasionally dangerous. I’ve taught geology, biology…

A lot of people ask, “What does it mean to get in your own way?” I glare at them like they’re from another planet. How can you not know? It’s like slamming a door and then trying to walk through it. As I’ve gotten older, I know better. I’ve learned not to act impulsively…

Hello readers. Welcome to my third installment investigating my ongoing battle with Valulosis (patent pending), the affliction that makes us cling to things because they might be valuable someday.
First, there was my dad, who refused to part with his…

I recently listened to a podcast about the Beanie Baby craze of the 1990s, and it triggered a memory so bizarre, it’s part of an urban legend – except it happened to me. In the mid-90s, I was a third-grade teacher with a classroom full of kids and, naturally, a collection…

My dad had a La-Z-Boy recliner in green tweed fabric, likely purchased in the late 1960s or early ‘70s. If you’re picturing Archie Bunker’s chair from All in the Family or Martin Crane’s from Frasier, think worse. Much worse. By the time I came along, the seat had shed its tweed…

As we kick off this new year, I find myself reflecting on how I’ve spent years chasing productivity and perfection – crossing things off lists and rushing toward the next task, holiday, or goal. But a recent tumble onto a cactus taught me a valuable lesson: life isn’t just about getting to the end…

As we get older, we tend to think we’ve got this whole “communication” thing down. We’ve had years of practice, and by now, we ought to be masters of getting our point across clearly. And yet, sometimes, even with our best intentions, people hear something…

When I first retired, I had this fantasy about sleeping in. I pictured myself lounging until 10 a.m., with the sun already high in the sky, a steaming cup of coffee in hand. I’d be well-rested, with a full day ahead to read, exercise, and maybe conquer the world – or at least…

I have a side I want the world to see. This side of me is shiny, positive, smart, and practically perfect, like Mary Poppins. It’s my A-side, the one I spin for company, acquaintances, and anyone who might catch a glimpse of me from afar. It’s curated, polished, and, let’s be honest…

Retirement is like a second adolescence, only with more naps and hopefully, fewer pimples. We’ve spent decades clocking in, clocking out, and now, suddenly, every day is a Saturday. But with all this newfound freedom, the big question looms…