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What’s Up Doc? Another Sign of Aging

By Rhonda Chiger June 28, 2025 Senior Living

I just discovered another sign of aging – all your doctors start to retire.

I always think of a doctor as being an older statesman, or woman, and, I, a younger, dewy-eyed patient. This has been the dynamic of most of my doctor-patient relationships since I was a child and, up until now, I never gave any real thought about the fact that because my doctors were older than me, that I would one day have to find a replacement. Well, that day has come; and, alas, I am no longer so young nor dewy-eyed.

Your Doctor’s Career Parallels Your Own Life Cycle

It really got me thinking about my journey and life’s progression. I have been a patient of some of my doctors since I first moved to New York in 1983. These physicians have treated me for everything from mono to post-partem depression. I never really thought about how a doctor’s career parallels my own life cycle, but it clearly does.

Family Doctor

My very first family doctor, the one who treated me for mono at age 21, knew that I was a struggling dancer, so he didn’t charge me for the visit.

Ophthalmologist

At 25, the television was getting fuzzy to watch, so I went to get my first pair of glasses. At the time, I was one of the first patients of a young ophthalmologist who just opened his own practice. I remember sitting, waiting for my eyes to dilate, and I watched him proudly showing his new office to a family member. That office and his practice has since been sold.

Gynecologist

My gynecologist knew me as a single girl and then a married woman. She helped me navigate a miscarriage in my 30s and fertility issues when I was in my 40s. She is now in her 70s and winding down her practice.

All Other Doctors

As I got older, there has been high cholesterol, weight gain, vitamin D deficiency, cataracts – common conditions as one matures and, as I aged, so did my physicians. I saw them in the prime of their careers and they saw me grow into middle age.

Even These Relationships Take Time

It has taken years for these doctors and I to bond, to understand (and remember) underlying issues. Medicine was practiced differently 40 years ago. In the past, doctors used to make house calls and spend significant time with each patient. Now, with HMO quotas, you get 15 minutes with a doctor at best.

These days, when my “new” General Practitioner enters the examining room, I know he has no clue as to who I am. He goes into the electronic files which tells him how high my cholesterol and A1C is. The charts also show my blood pressure and other vitals for the past 30 years as well as the medications I take.

What these records don’t tell him is how I struggled to get pregnant, how scared I am that I may die young just like my mother, or how difficult it is for me to not have the stamina nor strength to be able to dance like I used to.

Just Another Aging Milestone

As I embark on this new chapter, I decided to handle finding new doctors as just another aging milestone. It isn’t fun, but I’m grateful to still be on the hunt. The reality is, my new doctors will most likely outlive me. I am becoming their patient as they begin to build their careers.

Meanwhile, they will be treating me in the last phase of my life, never really knowing the vibrant young person I once was. I guess this is just another facet of aging that I wasn’t prepared for and, admittedly, a hard pill to swallow (pun intended).

They say you can mark the passage of time through children’s growth; I think you can also mark time through your annual physician visits. Those medical records show a lifetime of development and living. It’s a tracking of your physical and mental being. In a perfect world, the elderly die before the young. So, it’s the natural course that the doctors of my young adulthood would bow out to make room for younger physicians, at the same time I enter into the latter part of my life.

In an odd way, I guess it is kind of a privilege to be part of a physician’s budding practice – TWICE. My initial doctors brought me to a certain point and my new, current doctors will see me through the balance.

Trust me, I am thankful to remain on the continuum and, who knows, perhaps these younger doctors will make their mark on the world in a very different way from their predecessors. Yes, they have large shoes to fill, but now that I am the elder statesmen, I’m just thankful I have access to new technologies and eager minds and look forward to seeing what medicine’s finest do next.

Also read, No More Pap Smears: 11 Outrageous Signs I am Aging.

What Are Your Thoughts:

Have you seen any of your doctors retire? How have you navigated the changing medical landscape as you age? Any helpful hints?

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Vasanti Sharma

You have stated exactly what most of us find ourselves doing…. Having to find new / younger doctors and specialists. It takes a while to build confidence and faith in the new docs…. Most of the times they prove to be good doctors and yet we miss the ones we consulted for so many years. Thank you for bringing up this topic.

Rhonda Chiger

I am so glad this piece resonated with you. Thanks for your comments.

Alexis

This has recently happened to me as well – every one of my doctors retired over the last two years, and each was a completely different experience. The new gp I’ve started to go to only looks at a computer screen and enters data when I meet with him and his interaction is cursory, so I need to make a change there.
My dentist was great and gave plenty of notice about his retirement and he also brought in his replacement the year before he left. His twenty-something replacement is a lot wiser about patient relationships – he listens and engages with me.
When my ob-gyn retired she didn’t even send out a notice. I was scheduling an annual appointment and her office told me I wouldn’t be able to schedule since she was retiring, and they said that they had no referral to anyone new. This was a woman I had gone to for years!

Rhonda Chiger

I am glad this piece resonated with you. Sometimes I go through things and I wonder if anyone else has the same experience. Thanks for sharing yours.

Judy

That wasn’t very respectful of her patients. I would think sending out a notice would be common curtesy.

Alexis

I would think so too. It was really surprising, I expected better of her.

Teddee Grace

This resonated. I’m 81 and have two doctors, a glaucoma specialist and a chiropractor, in particular, that I am worried about outliving or at least outliving their retirements.

Rhonda Chiger

I am so glad this resonated. Stay well.

Kim

Same experience with a new younger physician recently. On a tight schedule. Just looked at my numbers on the chart. Didn’t as k if I was married, had kids, or what I did for a living etc. I felt invisible. I have an interesting life and a great personality. She Didn’t care or is too busy to find out. Not right.

Rhonda Chiger

The way medicine is practiced these days is so clinical and less human. We have to continue to advocate for ourselves. Thanks for weighing in.

Sue

I know that medical shows are fiction, but just having finished 6 seasons of The Resident, the show emphasized that each difficult diagnosis involved going back to the patient to talk thru their lifestyle, eating patterns, etc, showing that 90% of diagnosis comes from talking with the patient. How many early diagnosis are missed with out that interaction? If you haven’t watched the series I highly recommend. Get past the first episode which is kind of shocking and move on to the rest. It is an education. I am a nurse so have an interest in all things medical, but for anyone concerned about their health and the health care system, you would enjoy!

Marcinda

I’m finding it’s our health insurance companies are to blame also for us elderly being forced to leave doctors we have had for decades. Either the insurance company drops them-probably because they continue to practice medicine by taking their time and getting to know you and take care of you as you should be cared for – not what some pre-determined dictorial insurance company has decided you don’t need! I am on my 3rd primary care doctor this year so far because insurance has been dropping doctors in my plan. I have been forced to leave my doctor of more than 25 years to float around to Dr after Dr. Doctors who don’t know me and who aren’t allowed to treat me like a human being but rather by the medical billing codes. Doctors openly hate the insurance companies for tying their hands as well as spending hours with the billing systems. They actually spend more time billing my insurance than they can spend with me! Our health care system in America is totally messed up and no one in our political landscape will battle them because political campaigns are getting money from them!

Marianne Clark

I agree with you 100%! It’s our health care system that needs fixing and that’s probably not going to happen in our lifetime. This article definitely resonated with me especially the fact that my OBGYN knew me from being single back in the 70’s needing birth control advice to marriage (much later), delivering my baby and then fertility issues, menapause, etc. He really knew me, where I lived growing up, my husband’s name, my child’s name. Like you, I have had 3 primary care doctors in one year!! My current doctor doesn’t know me, as others have said, I am data on a screen. I appreciate all the great comments and this article. I am not alone in my frustration:(

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The Author

Rhonda Chiger is a professional dancer, turned corporate executive, turned amateur dancer, entrepreneur, and PTA mom. Her blog, Rhonda’s Musings, provides readers with essays about life from a middle-aged woman’s perspective. Her blog is both sentimental and witty, always with a message of positivity and moving forward.

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