How to Find Joy in Growing Older
Years ago, I wrote a children’s book for my grandchildren called Find Joy. It is the story of a grandma who spends the day with her grandchildren as they hunt for what they think is a person named Joy.
She shows them by the activities they are doing, the places they are going, and the play they are engaging in that they can find joy in their life and be joyful.
Read My Awkward Aging Story: How Denial Played a Trick on Me.
I often ask seniors what it feels to be old, and I receive a multitude of answers. One person told me they use the word “older” instead of “old.” To her it feels good to grow older, but not be old. Another person told me when her body doesn’t do what it is supposed to do, she feels old.
We can embrace our age while striving to eat, exercise, and keep our appearance young. The truth is, everyone approaches aging with different attitudes, feelings and health.
I like to think that you are never old until you stop finding joy in life. When my patients have an especially bad day some say something like, “I need this to be done. This is no life.” Then a few days later, they are up, smiling, laughing, and participating in life again. So perhaps finding and experiencing joy in life is what makes us feel alive and young.
Read Is it Possible to Be Cool in Your 70s?
Celebrate Who You Are
I, for one, love life. The other day I was purchasing a type of insurance and was asked the year I was born. The broker misheard the year and thought I was born in the 60s instead of the 50s which would make me 10 years younger.
He said, “I bet you wish that were the case.” I immediately said no. I do not want to relive 10 years of my life. I liked my life very much, but I look forward to each day ahead.
As a child grows up, they want to be older. We love our birthdays. I do, anyway. I like to start at the beginning of the week and celebrate every day of my week that celebrates me. After all, we are amazing.
Ask a child how old they are, and they will hold up their fingers and proudly proclaim. I do that too. Well, not with my fingers, because I ran out of fingers and toes long ago, but I proudly proclaim my age. I earned those years. I have made myself into what I am. You have also.
Read The Golden Years: Embracing Old Age.
Your Age in Years May Not Reflect Your Age in Appearance or Health
In my profession, I have worked with many people who are in their 80s, 90s, and beyond. I have dear friends who are in their 90s. Because of that, I was taken back when I took a job at a nursing home and found residents to be young in age, but old in health. A few of them were a couple years older than I am. Many were in their 70s, but not young 70s.
Read Being “Old” Is When You Think You Are.
My mom always seemed old for her age because of health reasons. She was at least 10-20 years younger than she looked because of her health. I care for a man who is sweet, kind, and very feeble. I asked him how old he was and was surprised when he said 73. I was sure he was 90 plus. My 90-year-old friends are younger in life than he is.
How does that happen? For some people, life takes an unfortunate turn and because of disease or an accident, they end up needing care at an early age and will probably not see their 90s.
However, for those same people who are young in age but old in health, their attitude of finding joy in life makes all the difference in the way they live their lives. If you have had an illness or accident that made you a little older, you can make up for it in attitude.
Look at Life’s Challenges as Mere Inconveniences
I know a most remarkable man. One day I had extra time to communicate and listen to him one-on-one. He uses an electric scooter because he was paralyzed many decades ago in an accident. He now has both legs amputated at different levels. His hands are gnarled, and he has many other physical problems he deals with daily.
But he is always happy. That is what makes him so remarkable.
It is easy to take what life hands you, hunker down, and sulk, making your life and everyone else’s life miserable. I see that all the time. But he ended our conversation with this, “I don’t consider myself handicapped, I am merely inconvenienced.”
Read You Don’t Need a Facelift – But, Your Concept of Midlife Certainly Does!
There is so much to learn from a man who lives life every day serving someone else, wearing a smile on his face and bringing joy to others.
As you continue to the end of your beautiful life, make each day amazing by finding the joy around you.
Read more on the topic, LOOKING AND FEELING YOUNG… BEYOND 80!
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What can you do to find joy each day? What is your definition being old? How do you know when you are “old”? How important is attitude in the process of growing older? How do you know when you are old and not finding joy? Please share in the conversation.
Tags Getting Older
Attitude is very important no matter your age, and more importantly as we grow older. I look at it this way, I am now at an age that my beloved husband never made it to. Therefore, I have a great attitude and live each day knowing joy surrounds me and when it might be hiding, I go and seek it out and share it with someone else! Those not finding joy are not looking in the right places or don’t want to find it!
Up front, I like this article – it is cheerfully written and definitely meant to help lift us (older women) up. Thank you for that. — However, I have to say that though I’ve always tried to stay on the younger side of my thinking – I keep myself groomed, and I’ve always had (until lately) great energy, and I know I do have many blessings (for which I am grateful) – it is ROUGH getting older. ROUGH! – My husband became ill and died, almost 10 years’ ago – and I’ve had to handle everything by myself . . . and when it comes to dating, forget it. The dating pool is dismal, at best . . . older men are needy and crochety, and younger men are needy in their own ways, and most of them want younger partners. Physical aging is hard, too . . . things hurt, things are saggy and knotty and wrinkled — Life, overall is tougher, too. One of my sons (who was the joy of my life) suddenly cut me out of his life over four years’ ago, without an explanation – and though I’m on good terms with my other children, they have their own lives. Outside of my few female buddies, who have their own issues, I face my life, alone. Also, I have recently have gone through TWO, very grisly and expensive court battles – and in both cases, they involved people trying to take advantage of me, financially. I had a squatter who didn’t want to leave – and then I had trouble with a man who was doing repairs on my house. — To top all of this off, I cannot even muster the emotional energy to care much, anymore, about any of the above.
All that said, I’m not complaining . . . I’m just saying that fatigue of all kinds come with age, from all of the challenges that life brings as the years come and go. — It takes a lot more fortitude to try to keep going.
You are so right Amy. We can try and have the very best positive attitude. But as we age, there is no doubt for many of the reasons you have highlighted life certainly becomes more challenging! I’ve just had my 5th major surgery. But each day try a little harder.