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Falling in Love in Later Life: Is It About Passion or Companionship? 

By Lily Bradshaw November 26, 2024 Dating

There is something quite special about falling in love when you are a little older, maybe because we didn’t see it coming! Some of my friends use internet dating to find ‘the one’, but I am not so sure I would ever try it. I find it a little black-and-white and somewhat contrived. As a writer, I love observing people’s subtle nuances, and how they interact with others. However, I have heard of success stories, so perhaps don’t knock it till you try it :).

Body Language

I much prefer to physically be with someone. I like seeing their mannerisms, the way they move their body, the look in their eyes, how they react to situations. Hearing the pitch and tone of their voice, as well as the words they use is important to me. Even in this day of feminism, I love a man to open doors for me and make me feel I am the only one in the room. Is that outdated? 

The Bit in the Middle

For me the best bit is the bit in the middle. When you first find yourself thinking about someone, without really knowing why. You are not too sure of your feelings… or theirs. It could all be over in an instant, but they may become the love of your life! You want to hurry up and find out, but, in a way, you love the long, drawn-out, will-it-won’t-it. I love the butterflies that fly around in my tummy when I see the person in question, and the daydreaming that seems to take over my life!

Would You Want to Fall in Love Again?

For me, I am not sure if I even want to fall in love again, although I am not sure if we have that option. Yes, it is a wonderful feeling, something like no other, but even after a 35-year relationship, I can’t help feeling a bit of a failure that it ended, or worry I would take forward my trust issues into any other relationship.

I have also built a wonderful life for myself where I am free to be me, and I have to say, I really like it. I do pretty much what I want, when I want. It doesn’t matter if dinner is at 6.00pm, or midnight. No-one cares if I am up all night, lay in bed all morning or write an article at 3.00 am. I guess it would have to be a very special person for me to fall in love with, but an even more special one to fall in love with me!

Companionship or Passion?

Some people are looking for companionship and would be happy to find someone to spend time with and share life together. And I truly get this. One of the things I have missed while travelling is having someone with whom to share special moments.

But for me it would have to be true passion, someone to laugh and cry with. Someone to hold my hand and make me feel safe and special. A person I looked forward to seeing as soon as I opened my eyes each morning, after spending the night snuggled up together. I love that feeling of intimacy between two people, that is yours and yours alone.

Looking for Love?

So, I won’t be internet dating or walking down the food aisles anytime soon. I am loving my life just the way it is. But ‘sliding doors’ moments can happen at any time in our lives, and we never know when love might be hiding behind one of them.

I guess, in a way, that is the exciting bit!

Please Join the Conversation:

Would you like to fall in love again? Have you? What’s more important to you: companionship or passion?

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Dorothy Thuku

Hi, for companionship at a later time

lily bradshaw

Hi Lauralee thank you for joining the conversation. You sound like a very wise person! I have recently moved home and have two interesting, intelligent, male (and several female) neighbours who pop in for a chat, or go for a walk. To be honest, unless a very special man comes along and sweeps me off my feet, I am very happy with that :) Lily x

Dee

My late husband of 40 years passed in 2017′ and in 2020 a love from my youth started talking to me on FB. We have been friends for many years since our youth but we hadn’t seen each other in 26 years. When we got back together in 2020 it was like no time had ever passed between us. He truly is my soulmate. I’m the love of his life and he is mine as well. We’re both in our 70s now and who knows how long we have. We make the best of what we have, both passion AND companionship.

Last edited 1 year ago by Dee
lily bradshaw

Hi Dee, thank you for joining the conversation. I am sorry to hear about your husband but delighted that you are now happy and enjoying life! None of us know how long we have on this beautiful earth, so enjoy every piece of happiness that comes your way :) Lily x

Robin H

I’ve had a friend and travel buddy for the last several years. He is very tall, handsome man and we dated for about a year but figured out it didn’t work. Now we travel together when we go overseas and it works wonderfully. Separate bedrooms and no benefits. It’s nice being able to take a picture and knowing the guy behind the camera or the woman behind the camera. I recently started dating a guy that may be my last first kiss. I miss the passion and the companionship, but I have my friend for the companionship. We joke apart that. If this one doesn’t work out, I’ll buy a house with a pool and get a pool boy. A girls gotta do what she’s gotta do. I don’t think 65 is the new 25 but there’s still fire in the furnace.

lily bradshaw

Hi Robin, thank you for joining the conversation. I loved your comment! I completely agree with you. Having a friend to travel with is a great idea but you also have to recognise your needs. I say go for the pool :) Lily x

Jane Parkhurst

I think what I am looking for is a “travel buddy”. Before my last failed marriage, I was with a man for 13 years, never married, each lived in our own homes, but had some fantastic vacations. I guess that would be the companionship you are referring to.

lily bradshaw

Hi Jane, thank you for joining the conversation. I spent almost two years travelling the world on my own and loved it but I know it is not for everyone, so having travel body seems like a great choice! Lily x

The Author

Lily Bradshaw has had an interesting and varied career. Twenty years working as a psychotherapist and part time lecturer, followed by 20 years of writing educational courses. Now she is enjoying semi retirement writing books and articles that interest her, mostly about having fun and enjoying life. She has spent the last 2 years travelling solo.

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