If I’m Not Working, Am I Really Worth Anything?
I actually heard a woman say this on a podcast I was listening to. “If I’m not working, am I really worth anything?” My reaction? Out loud, I immediately said, “Oh dear!” Without even thinking, it just came out of my mouth. I still pray that her thought is rare (or nonexistent!) among women.
“Not working” can be a choice anyone makes throughout life: raising a family, caregiving, volunteering, deciding what’s next between jobs, evolving financial needs, and so many other situations. And in this example, “not working” was regarding deciding whether to retire… or not.
The Term “Worth”
I am always saddened when I hear anyone tying their “worth” to their income or net worth. Money is a tool to help you live out your choices based on your values. Our childhood shapes the money messages we have in our heads, and this woman I heard on the podcast was also from another country where culture also had an impact. So, that context helped me better understand her comment.
Your Idea of Retirement
When you first became an adult with financial responsibilities, what was your impression of retirement? Would it involve moving away, leisurely playing or traveling for the rest of your years, choosing to do whatever you wanted each day, living near or with your children, or something else? We all have different ideas, which can change as we get closer to retirement.
Begin with the End in Mind
I am a fan of Stephen Covey, the famous author of the mantra “begin with the end in mind,” which I also find to be a very helpful approach to retirement. What do you want to retire to? What lifestyle and activities do you envision? That answer dictates the second common question: how big must my nest egg be to retire?
And that answer depends… on your spending… which is dictated by your answer to that first question.
So, you see how they are SO interrelated? One person lives easily on $60,000/year, and another struggles to keep spending under $200,000/year. The good news is that spending is all about your choices, so you have some control.
Tools for Retirement
I had a great conversation the other day with Liz Schartman, an Accredited Financial Counselor and Daily Money Manager at The Well-Ordered Dollar about retirement. She helps people create healthy money habits in several capacities, including getting ready to retire and enjoying retirement. For women especially, her financial coaching in Jean Chatzky’s HerMoney is one of her many tools.
HerMoney
HerMoney offers not only education on the website, newsletter, or podcasts, but there are also multi-week group programs that provide education, financial tools like spending/saving tracking and a retirement calculator, and accountability partnership, all in a safe and engaging environment. For example, the FinanceFixx and InvestingFixx programs are designed, delivered, and enjoyed by women of all ages.
Daily Money Management
Liz is also a leader within The American Association of Daily Money Managers (AADMM.com), which handles financial management and bill payment services for anyone unable or unwilling to handle daily financial tasks. This service delivers financial peace of mind to busy professionals, high-net-worth individuals, seniors and their families, and more. Even before retirement, this need can arise with lack of time or with aging parents.
You Don’t Have to Figure It Out on Your Own
Liz shared, “I think it’s important for women to realize that there are many great tools to help with finances. They don’t have to figure it out on their own. These tools help women who want to gain control of their finances, or learn more about investing in a fun environment, or those that need to have someone else manage the day-to-day, either for themselves or family.”
No matter where you are in retirement/planning, there is much to consider. I encourage you to design that much anticipated time of life intentionally. MyBefore and After Retirement Checklist or Bundle can help you think through many of the decisions that need to be made.
One last fact to share: Be open to change… that is the one thing that can be guaranteed will certainly take place in retirement!
Your Thoughts:
What does retirement mean to you? Has the concept changed as you aged? What is it you look forward to or are already enjoying in retirement? What advice or questions would you have for other women?
We are brought up to believe that we should be productive, provide a service to others or make money for others. Therefore when we retire or during periods of unemployment we feel useless. However, are philosophers, artists, housewives, animal caretakers, etc. useless? During the course of our idleness, we interact with others, share the wisdom gained from life experiences, making their days and ours more fulfilling. There is value in that.
Thank you for that wise reminder Patricia!
Hi,
I thought I would work until I died, that I would never be able to retire. I had attended many money management workshops for women over the years, and although I was the primary breadwinner through both marriages, I could never meet the financial goals recommended for retirement.
Anyway, due to medical issues and surgeries needed, I stopped working when I was 67yo instead of 70yo which I hoped to reach. After that time, it’s been a mixed bag, but I have felt my self-worth drop without a job, not because of income/finances, but because I felt a loss of meaning in relaxing instead of being of service to others. I worked full-time as a nurse for over 45years. I tried part-time volunteer work at a clinic, but felt I should do more even though I was very tired.
Eventually, I learned to enjoy my own company, adopted a pet, enjoyed sleeping in every day, and focused on loving my siblings and their families and a few close friends, even though we are spread out across the country. I am thankful to no longer work in healthcare which has become overtaken by greedy corporate executives who value money over human beings. We need a revolutionary change in our healthcare system. I am still involved but not responsible. It feels okay.
Catherine, you are like many of us in your initial feeling that you would work forever. Reality is that most people retire 3-5 years earlier than they anticipated/planned, for a variety of reasons (health, work, family being the most common). I see the feeling of “loss of meaning in relaxing” as more common in women than men, especially as it relates to service to others. Yet your resilience in finding a way forward and being thankful (totally agree about the health care system), is something to celebrate. I hope your feeling of “okay” continues to evolve to “peaceful” or “good” or “healthy” or whatever description you long for.
I think people need to be reminded that our governments save literally billions of dollars because of all the volunteer work women over sixty do’, especially in social and health supports. For those who may be too ill to contribute, you are teaching others compassion and understanding through your hardships. Your worth is not determined by your gender but some people don’t know thst.
So true!
I got a lot of financial support leading up to my retirement. That’s not a problem. Filling my time with productive, worthy and positive activities has been a huge problem for me.
I don’t think our finance industry does a good enough job talking to pre-retirees about the non-financial planning side of this chapter. Don’t give up Cindy, you will find your way!
It took me a couple of years into retirement to feel my worth. Now I’m enjoying retirement, tho I’m busier than I thought I would be !
So glad to hear that Judy! My favorite line to hear from retirees is “I’m so busy, I don’t know how I ever had time to work!”