Is It Okay to Live in Our Own Little Bubble?
Does this sound like you? I like my life right where I am. I know there is a lot going on in the world. I keep abreast of it but can’t do much about it all. Inflation has sky-rocketed prices. So I’ve adjusted my spending. Geopolitical and market headlines seem to dominate. I click less and reduce my “news” exposure.
I’m intentionally living in my own bubble for the sake of a healthier mindset and body. It’s not an ostrich approach with my head in the sand, just a healthy focus on the things I can change and enjoy in my own little world.
Real vs Laptop World
I’ve had that conversation with many women over the past several years. None of us in these discussions are psychology experts or pretending that there is concrete research about our bubble approach. We often conclude that there seems to be a laptop world and a real world these days. And choosing to live in the real world might mean focusing our energy and happiness on our own little bubble, despite what the laptop world says is going on around of us.
Morning Rituals
A friend of mine who is a Life Coach, recently spoke to my Health & Financial Wellness for Women group about the value of morning rituals. One researched and healthy aspect of a morning ritual she demonstrated was meditation. To me, meditation is an example of an even smaller bubble, inside of us.
Our Monkey Brain
She called her brain a monkey brain, can’t keep it quiet, always jumping around. I often think of our brains like a squirrel (darting here, there and everywhere) or a shiny penny (look over here, or over here, or over there). Our brains were wired for survival back in the caveman days (to hunt and find food or escape a predator, always on the lookout for the next meal or danger). Today, we don’t need those monkey brain tendencies anymore, but our brains still act the same.
Meditation to the Rescue
She shared that meditation helps us to connect our brain with our heart. We can’t control our brain, but connecting it with our heart (which requires breathing and a quiet body) can help us more intentionally choose our actions. Temporarily creating that internal bubble within us can bring clarity, help us focus, and set the tone for the day.
Self-fulfilling Prophecy
Literally every week, I hear women say things like “I am so bad with money!” or “I am not comfortable making financial decisions” or “I have never been good with finances, I just don’t like dealing with it.” Those sentiments usually stem from childhood and past or current relationships. But I cringe because I truly believe those thoughts and words (usually repeated over and over again) too often become self-fulfilling prophecies. Because they think they are bad with money, those women are bad with money.
The Value of Money
This is another internal bubble opportunity. If you can take just a few minutes to quietly connect your heart and brain with some deep breaths, clarify why you value money. It may be for security, freedom, independence, peace of mind, flexibility, lifestyle choices, or something else. What does money mean to you?
Money Is a Tool
For whatever reason(s) you value money, I encourage your focus to be on using money as a tool. That mindset helps take the emotion out of decision making, encourages automation for long term success, and should provide objectivity instead of guilt.
I Can Do This!
Taking it one day at a time, the idea that money provides freedom, for example, and is a tool to use in your life, could provide an “I can do this” tone to each day instead of the negative self-talk women often have chattering in their brain. We are emotional beings, with two sides to our brains, the emotional and the logical sides. So we need tools to help us not get stuck in the emotional side.
Checklists to the Rescue
That’s where I have seen checklists act like a tool that can be a brain distractor, in a good way, to help us keep moving forward instead of letting our emotions get in the way. Finances are one of the top stressors in life so leveraging money checklists should help us live in our bubble more peacefully. I encourage you to browse my checklists to get started.
Narrow to Three
I read an interesting article the other day about how to successfully use checklists. One suggestion was to limit your list to seven items. Since money can be one of the tougher topics to tackle, no matter how long the list is, I suggest narrowing your next steps to three items.
My Life Event checklists, for example, use a Top 10 approach (the top 10 most important steps to take at this phase in your life). But to avoid overwhelm and still be motivated to get started, it helps to select just three actions that speak to you right now. Accomplishing one of those three means you are already 1/3 of the way toward your goal making it even more likely to tackle the next action item.
Enjoy Being “Doers”
I love that this website offers women actionable education. Whether you choose to live in a bubble or not, right or wrong, I encourage us all to keep learning AND enjoy being “doers”!
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Do you feel like you live in a bubble, intentionally or not? How have you managed your own wellness in this chaotic world? Are you a checklist fan? Let’s have a discussion!
Hi Marie. Thank you for a thoughtful article. I agree that current political and environmental news can be overwhelming, and that we all have to protect our spirits as much as possible. For me personally, I’ve found that it helps me deal with the daily stress of alarming news to find something that I CAN do. I have been boycotting a favorite store since their management stepped back their stance on diversity. It has cost me a little money and a lot of inconvenience, but I just read in yesterdays’ news that this company’s stock fell 7% below expected earnings for the past quarter, much attributed to shoppers’ boycotts. Hooray! It gives me a boost to know that I did my small part to register my dissatisfaction with policy choices. I’m an 82 year old living in assisted living, but I still can make a difference!
Love what you shared Marilyn and I am a fan of voting with our feet (or $$) too!
I too live within my own bubble and I enjoy it. I can’t change it so I make my own happiness while I walk my journey.
Laurie, you make a great point…that we do make our own happiness. Keep enjoying the journey!
I agree.
I like keeping up with news and global events so my bubble is a physical one. My preference is to be alone at home since I enjoy my own company rather than that of others. Though I used to feel guilty about not socializing more, I’ve learned to let that go.
Terri, guilt is not a healthy feeling so letting it go sounds wise as long as you don’t let the risk of isolation creep into your life as that can make us physically and mentally unwell. Enjoy your balanced bubble!
I am the same.
Hi, love this “bubble” article! Yes, I am doing the same thing as far as only checking the news once a day and making it a nonbiased source, not dwelling on things I cannot change or even affect, trying to do something every day that always lifts my spirits. And money–I am one of those women who has always been afraid of money, and that is what it boils down to, fear. I don’t think avoiding statements like “I have never been good with money” is going to change the way I approach money or anything else I fear, but I do think the awareness that I have those fears and I don’t want to have them anymore leads me to make the changes necessary to overcome my fears–getting educated about money, taking small steps and learning from them, and tackling the tough issues even though I am afraid. If nothing but affirmations could cure fears, I would be in front of the mirror all the time saying them, but honestly, action is what is called for to make change in my case.
Action is absolutely the answer Marian, for everyone. One of my favorite acronyms is IYADWYADYAGWYAG (if you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got). So the change we need is first awareness and affirmation but then action, as you point out. Then we each gravitate toward a preferred action method: read, a class, a list, working with someone, a video, etc. Good luck picking your next step so you can avoid the acronym!
I am becoming a list maker. My mind gets so overwhelmed with projects that need to get done. My husband did the finances when the kids were little. I took them over and now I watch every penny spent. I have tried meditation but I just can’t quiet my mind. Thank you for your article.
Marge, I have found that meditation is not easy and it definitely takes practice. I think of it like training my brain to accept “Later!” When thoughts come into my mind when I am meditating or trying to sit quietly or even to focus on one thing, I tell my brain “Later! I will think about that later.” I find it helpful if I wake up in the night, I tell my mind “Later!” and even during the day when things come into my mind, I can say “Later!” but also capture a thought on my list so then it is out of my brain, written on paper, and then not lost for when I can think or act on it later. We are all learning what works for us, keep on using your lists!