If you are looking to develop a relationship with a man in your 60s, you have to know where to look. They are not hiding, but they are certainly not going to come knocking on your door. Interesting men are out in the world doing interesting things, not waiting patiently for you to appear in their lives.

So, the secret is to do those things that you love, knowing that the men you will meet there at a minimum like doing what you do. It’s a place to start. Failing that direct approach, here are a few other ideas for finding these mysterious older men.

When It Comes to Senior Dating, Recognize that there’s More to Men than Sports

Many women over 60 assume that older men are only interested in watching TV, drinking beer and playing sports. It’s true that many men love sports, and they might say on their online dating profiles that they enjoy activities like cycling, hiking, boating, golfing, running or swimming, but men are multifaceted people just like women.

Most single guys are like you – they have a lot of different things in life to keep them busy, whether that’s work or family, grandkids, pets, hobbies or other interests. It’s best to stop stereotyping. Don’t assume that you won’t have anything in common with men your age.

Stop the negative self-talk – if you believe that it’s impossible to find good single men over 60, you’ll probably prove yourself right!

Suggestion: Look for your local hiking or walking groups on Facebook or online. Many older single people, men and women, enjoy these activities and don’t have anyone to do them with. Strike up conversations with fellow members, build friendships, and possibly more. 

Forget the Married Men; Focus on the Single Guys

Many women over 60 say “all the good men are married.” It’s true that a lot of men over 60 are married – but you need to just deal with that and let it go. Stop comparing your prospective dates to men who aren’t available, and instead start focusing on quality single, eligible men.

The good news is, there are lots of single men over 60 who are just like single women – they are experiencing the same feelings and worries that we are – they might be recently divorced, feeling lonely, fearing rejection, feeling insecure, and trying to navigate the dating world again. It may even help to “turn the dating dial down a decade” and look for a slightly younger man.

Meet Men Where they’re Doing What they Love

Everyone loves to meet someone who shares a common interest, and older men are no different! One of the best places to meet a good man is to go where he is doing what he loves. For example, sign up for a book club, wine club, yoga class, outdoors adventure club, movie club, or join a church or spirituality group or political activism group.

Check out meetup.com for ideas of fun activities near you. Go to conferences with common themes of interest to older people – AARP Life +50 events, for example. Or volunteer in your community for a favorite cause. Often the best way to meet new friends is to start by sharing a common interest and learning from each other. Who knows, it might just lead to some romance!

Travel the World

The most appealing older men aren’t stuck at home – they are often travelling and doing things they love in places they love. So go do some traveling yourself, and you can meet them on trains and planes and at airports and train stations.

I met my husband on a train – true story. I also recently had an interesting encounter in Paris that taught me some worthwhile lessons about senior dating – read the story here! I also met a close male friend on a plane – and we’ve kept in touch for 10 years.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to older men that you meet during your travels. You might strike up a conversation that leads to something more.

Work Your Network of Family and Friends

You already have a natural built-in network of dozens or hundreds of family and friends – and all of them know older men who you might not have met yet. Why not reach out to the people you like and trust, and let them know that you are looking to meet some new (older) men? What do you have to lose? You won’t meet them unless you ask friends for connections.

Lots of your friends and relatives might already know someone who you would love to meet, but they probably aren’t going to speak up about it unless they know that you’re receptive to the idea. Hold a dinner party and take the initiative – ask the people you love and trust to help you find some new friends. At the very least, you’ll meet some fun new people!

Try Online Senior Dating

People over 60 are one of the fastest-growing groups that are using online dating sites. In fact, online dating just may be the BEST way to meet good men over 60 – because it expands your pool of choices and helps you connect with men who you might not otherwise meet in everyday life; plus, everyone on the online dating site is definitely available and interested to meet new people.

Check out these interviews with dating coach Lisa Copeland on how to write an online dating profile, and what older men really want from women over 60.

We round up the Best Dating Sites for Seniors including eHarmony, Silver Singles, and Match. Feeling a little nervous about dating? Read our article to help you fill your confidence cup and get out there.

Many older women have given up on their search for good men. This is a choice and one that may work for you. However, if you want male energy in your life, you have to actively look for it and be open and committed to going half way in the search. Both men and women in their 60s have had a great deal of life experience and to make a connection takes communication and trust.

What are your thoughts on senior dating? Are you dating any good men over 60? Where did you meet them? What advice would you give to someone who says she has given up on love?