Get Your Docs in a Row: Make this the Year You Get Your House in Order
I love New Year’s Resolution time of year not because of the goal setting but because it gets us thinking about the results we seek. Once you know your desired outcome, your best success is focusing on the small, actionable steps that ultimately lead to your desired results. Each small step is like a mini goal, a doable task, an identifiable action that, once accomplished, should build momentum to help you achieve the next small step.
Where Are You Now?
Often, our New Year resolutions are related to health or finance. I believe those two aspects of life are so interrelated (hence the name of my business Mind, Money, Motion), but it’s like anything: you can’t improve something until you know where you are to begin with. So my challenge to you is to make this the year you look around to see where you are financially and then “get your house in order.”
To know where you are, you need to start with an inventory. Then, identify the homework required after you can clearly see what you have. Taking care of yourself now and your family in the future by getting financially organized is a solid financial foundation which enables you to make wise long-term decisions going forward.
A Way to Get Started
That concept of taking an inventory and then creating a homework list was how my free workshop, Get Your Docs in a Row, was born years ago. I am the oldest of four children, a mother of four children, and a Mimi of 10 grandchildren, so I feel very comfortable in my clients’ “financial mother” role. I am a bit of a mother hen by nature, always looking out for and taking care of keeping the house and everyone in it in order.
So, for a while, I conducted my virtual workshop monthly, quarterly, and then twice a year. Good news: I have made it “evergreen,” which means it is available on demand on my website whenever a wise woman decides she is ready to get her docs in a row from the comfort of her own home. Plus, I provide the financial inventory worksheet at no charge!
Unfortunate Realities
I wish I could stop accumulating more stories from families that did not have their docs in a row. Even those of us in the field of finance have stories. No one is immune. Often, this is the case when finances, estate planning, money matters, or whatever you want to call it, either never comes up as a topic of discussion or never goes deep enough to understand the current situation completely. That is true whether you are the parent or the adult child.
Common Issues
Too often, there is no conversation or what I call just a “surface” conversation. The surface is scratched when someone mentions that, “yes, I’m all set on my estate planning.” That usually means that there are documents in place (hopefully a will and/or trust and powers of attorney for health care and finances).
But how long ago were they drafted? Is it a case where life or the laws have changed? Or even more commonly, has the “homework” been completed? If there was a trust drafted, was it “funded”? Do beneficiary designations match what the documents say is supposed to happen? Do the appropriate people know where to find the documents, passwords, and other statements, titles, and records?
Preparing Means Happy Endings
Fortunately, I also get to hear happy ending stories too. As evidenced in the thank you notes and comments I receive after helping a spouse or family after a loved one has passed:
- “I can honestly say that most of the items on your list after my husband passed, have all been completed because of your help or ongoing encouragement. I can’t thank you enough for your help!”
- “I can’t imagine how difficult this would have been had you not made sure we were well prepared in advance before my father passed. This was hard enough!”
An Open House Tour
Join me for a 12-step financial Open House tour. A series of mini videos with many options, tools, and different places to start…one of them is sure to speak to you. I promise you will be glad you came along for the ride!
Let’s Have a Conversation:
If you had to step in to help your parents or pick up the pieces after a loss or a spouse right now, how would that go for you? Are there tasks that you know still need to be done? And what about the likelihood that we often don’t know what we don’t know? Please share any experiences that could help other women.
I have just about everything in order. First, I started with a sheet that says, “When I Die” and where to go from there. It lists the phone number of the Clerk of the Court, all the pertinent numbers my child will call. An up-to-date list of all my home improvements with what I spent are also included as is the car title and house deed. My will is current and attached. Split between my children equally.
Slowly, I purge. Unlike my own mother who got mad at the world in her later years and left everything to my brother and his children should I predecease him (nothing to my children (her grands)). A surprise will for a mother I took care of lifelong. Ultimately, she probably did split her accents among my sib and myself and a few of her friends. I don’t know and I don’t care. I had a good job and can take care of myself. Such a sad commentary on how she chose to live up to the end.
I also completed the Five Wishes, which is a lovely document about how you want people in your life to know what they meant to you. It has an area for apologies, if that would be in order, and is available online. Great little document!
Thank you for sharing your experience Sally and sorry for the unfolding of your own mother’s situation. By sharing, you may have nudged someone else to action, hopefully sparing them what you have seen.
This is SO important!
When my Dad died, he had everything ship-shape, all in one place, names, numbers, what was what and what was going to happen. It made my job simple. And made my grieving a lot easier because of how thoughtful he had been. It was like his final act of love for me to set things up so well.
On the contrary when my mo died it was a MESS—it took me three years to sort it out and th etime and money lost because of those piles of files? Unbelievable. It almost felt like she did this deliberately in a “who cares what you have to go through—I’ll be gone and won’t have to worry about it, hahaha. This built a lot of resentment in me and indeed in everyone else who had to deal with her piles. We still (8 years after her death) have no idea about where some accounts went.
Please don’t put your children or other loved ones through this.
Oh Liz you have hit the nail on the head with some of your exact wording, confirming what I have seen over the decades. Specifically: It made my job simple. It made my grieving a lot easier. It was like his final act of love for me. COMPARED TO Piles of files. I’ll be gone and won’t have to worry about it. No idea where some of the accounts went. I have heard and seen all of that. So sorry you had to experience it but also grateful you had one experience that was as positive as a negative time can be. Thank you so much for sharing!
Marie, I just downloaded your financial planner and went to your site—it is so amazing! I wish I had had this when I was divorcing in 1999. But anyway I have it now, early in my retirement, Thank you so much for these great resources!
Thanks for sharing your reaction Liz. Your feedback is exactly why I designed my worksheets and checklists, to help women whenever they are ready!