Embracing Your Sexuality After 60
If you are like many women over 60, the question can leave you scratching your head, wondering how far back in the rearview mirror of the past you have to look to locate the last time you felt confident with your sexuality.
Contrary to what limiting beliefs and false stories say about this topic, regaining your sexual confidence and reigniting that inner flame is easier than you may think.
In this article and the accompanying video, we will explore options for embracing your sexuality over 60. This is the final part of my latest series on The Art of Self-Love After 60.
#1: 7 Steps to Turn Up the HEAT on Your Love Life
#2: 10 Easy Ways to Love More of Yourself
#3: 7 Pillars of Becoming Your Own Authority on Love
#4: 10 Steps to Loving Yourself Unconditionally After 60
#5: 15 Ways to Romance Yourself After 60
It’s Not Just About Sex
Embracing and feeling confident about your sexuality after 60 is not just a matter of sexual pleasure. In fact, it is less of a physical challenge and more of a mindset issue.
What often gets in the way of cultivating your sexual confidence after 60 are false stories and limiting beliefs.
For example, there is a pervasive belief that our sex drive diminishes during and after menopause. Then you have stories that suggest sexual pleasure initiated and done by oneself after 60 are taboo.
How do you overcome these beliefs and stories?
Installing New Beliefs and New Stories
First, you will want to replace a negative belief with a positive belief. This is where you begin telling a new, more empowering story about your sexuality and worthiness to fulfill your desires.
From there, actively reinforce your new beliefs and stories on a daily basis with new behaviors that are aligned with your desires. This is where inspired action comes in.
If you want to turn up the heat on your sexual desires, you will want to take inspired action. The more you think positively about yourself and put those thoughts into physical action, your mind and body have no choice but to synch up and deliver the desired effects of your new beliefs and stories.
14 Steps You Can Take to Be More Sexual
Embracing your sexuality after 60 is about transitioning from a fixed mindset, which is framed by limiting beliefs, and boldly stepping into a new level of sexual confidence with a growth mindset.
To help you, here are 14 steps and suggestions to embrace your sexuality and be turned on by the most beautiful, sensual person in your life – which is YOU!
Self-Acceptance
Embrace the changes in your body and recognize beauty in aging. Your experiences, wisdom, and stories are part of your allure.
Be Curious
Read about sexuality for those 60 and over. There are books, articles, and workshops focused on this topic.
Self-Pleasure
Masturbation is a way to understand what feels good for you. Invest in high-quality personal massagers or vibrators designed for older women.
Fantasy Journaling
Allow your mind to wander and journal different scenarios or situations that excite you.
Lubrication
Vaginal dryness is a common issue post-menopause. Using lubricants can alleviate discomfort. Additionally, sexual aids can enhance pleasure.
Communication
If you have a romantic partner, open communication about your desires, fears, and boundaries is essential to embracing your sexuality. It fosters understanding and can lead to a more fulfilling sexual relationship.
Seek Therapy
A sex therapist or counselor can provide guidance, especially if you’re dealing with issues like grief, self-esteem, or past traumas.
Hormone Therapy
If you’re experiencing post-menopausal symptoms that affect your libido, consider consulting with a doctor about hormone replacement therapy or other treatments.
Erotic Literature or Films
Explore different genres to discover what resonates with you. There are many age-appropriate erotic resources that focus on mature relationships and sexuality.
Physical Activity
Exercises like yoga or pilates can increase blood flow, enhance flexibility, and improve self-image.
Explore New Sensations
Beyond traditional intercourse, there are many ways to experience pleasure. Consider massage, sensual touch, or forms of tantra.
Dress for Yourself
Wear lingerie or clothing that makes you feel sexy and confident, even if it’s just for yourself.
Create a Sensual Environment
Set the mood with a bath, soft lighting, music, scented candles, or whatever appeals to your senses.
Maintain Body Positivity
Remember, every person’s body is a good, sexy body. Celebrate your body and shower it with love.
This Is Your Life
Your life, including your sexual journey, is unique. Avoid comparing your experiences or desires to others and focus on what excites and fulfills you.
Aging does not negate the desire or need for intimacy, pleasure, and self-expression. But a belief that all is lost after 60 does extinguish one’s sexual desires.
Remember, this is your life. Every day is a new opportunity to redefine, embrace, and enjoy your sexuality.
Please join me in the video where I will share five reasons sexual confidence is important for women over 60.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Are you confident about your sexuality? Why or why not? What ways have you found to romance yourself after 60?
Tags Sex After 60
Although it had been awhile, when I met the right guy at 71yo, sex was even better than I remembered. We were still going strong 5yrs later, than a cancer diagnosis slowed down, temporarily.
Its all about the warm up. How you treat each other during the day, the tender touch during the day, asking how you are feeling, a special look, a compliment, perhaps cooking a meal or doing something special for the other person. This, in my opinion, helps with the passion, desire and sexuality. Having a great time and very happy to be with someone who also enjoys sharing passion, romance and sex!
Yes, love all you said. The people in your life are so lucky to have you..
All my best,
Joanie Marx
Yes I agree this . Me 63 years and My wife 62 years still active good libido and good sexual arousal switch on every day . We maintain a sexual chart also and per year we do 100 more engaged in sexual arousal . Still together in the twisted legs and holding hands with joyful mood . I love and like sex after 60 – Shan andres India
Wonderful to hear about your blissful relationship.
Thank you for sharing your thoughtful success.
My libido hasn’t been there for a while and I just accepted it, but reading this seems like I have been missing out. There are a couple things here I would like to try and I guess I don’t have to hold myself up waiting for a partner.
Thank you for reading my articles and seeing their value.
Your self-worth and joyful experiences are worth the effort to try new things and think new thoughts.
It’s interesting to read articles like this. At 65 I have no sex drive so I marvel in hearing about how some women are still interested. I gave up on finding a man as I never met one who didn’t want intercourse. At 5’6″ and 130 pounds, dress well so I guess I’m still attractive, but it doesn’t matter. Just wondering how many women are faking it because they’re supposed to be interested.
i felt like this too until i found out that i was attracted to younger men- or to certain men and not others… now i am fine if i don’t have sex but i am very aware when i see someone I AM attracted to, not just someone who is attracted to ME – and then I initiate – if they don’t respond I move on with no bad feelings, and I know sooner or later I will find a MUTUAL attraction.
Knowing what you like and what you want is the key to valuing and enjoying your life.
I agree Valerie. My libido ended when I became post menopausal, like it was just switched off. Suggestions offered in this article, as important as they are for sexual self care, just didn’t stimulate lost desire. I have been taking HRT (estrogen and progesterone) for a few years which has made me feel better physically and mentally but it hasn’t helped with sex drive. It’s a curious thing as I can still orgasim if I or my husband stimulates me, but being naturally interested in sex, feeling sensual and sexy like in my younger years, just isn’t there any more for me. That said, nearly two months ago, a blood test showed that my testosterone level was low and I have started using testosterone cream. The menopause specialist who is treating me said it would take a few months to notice a change and just this week, much to my surprise and cautious delight, I feel that my sexual self is beginning to wake up again. I hope it grows stronger as it would be wonderful to feel desire in my 60s and beyond.
Testosterone is the hormone that affects libido. The others are necessary for other reasons but won’t help your sex drive!
Good for you – taking action to support your health and getting the proper, best up-to-date medical advice is so important.
My best,
Joanie Marx
Faking in anything is not good. Put your interest and joy in what does please you.
My best,
Joanie Marx