There’s a voice in your head that doesn’t want you to rise. She second-guesses your choices. She whispers that you’re too much… or not enough. And she questions your dreams and reminds you of your mistakes.
You know her well.
I call my inner critic Judy Judy.
Yes, I gave her two names – because of course she needed a little flair for the dramatic.
She shows up when I want to try something new, speak up, wear bold lipstick, or take a leap.
And just when I feel ready, she swoops in with doubt:
But here’s what I didn’t realize for the longest time: That voice wasn’t born with me. It was shaped by life. And understanding where it came from? That was the first step to taking my power back.
Your inner critic isn’t random – it’s built over time. Maybe it started as a teacher who embarrassed you in front of the class. Or a parent who meant well but pointed out every flaw.
Maybe it was the magazines that told you what your body should look like… or the workplace where your ideas were dismissed.
Each one of those moments leaves a mark. And over time, they form a voice inside that says: Be smaller. Be safer. Don’t take risks.
That voice might sound like your own – but it’s not your truth. It’s a collection of past experiences, old programming, and fear trying to protect you from rejection or failure.
Believe it or not, your inner critic isn’t trying to be cruel. She’s trying to keep you safe. She thinks if she keeps you quiet, perfect, or hidden, you’ll avoid getting hurt.
But staying small isn’t protection – it’s self-abandonment. Once you realize she’s just scared – not right – you can stop letting her lead.
If you’re ready to quiet that voice and step fully into the woman you’re becoming, here are five ways to begin:
Give your inner critic a name – something that helps you see her as a character, not your truth. Mine is Judy Judy. She means well, but she’s overly dramatic and a bit stuck in the past.
Now when she starts in with her commentary, I say, “Okay, Judy Judy, not today,” and I move forward anyway.
It sounds playful, but it’s a powerful way to take your voice back.
Your inner critic isn’t honest – she’s just loud. So meet her voice with actual truth.
If she says, “You always mess things up,” respond with, “Actually, I’ve handled a lot in my life. I’m still learning, and that’s enough.”
Your brain believes what it hears often. Make sure it hears your truth – not just her fear.
That critical voice is fear dressed up as helpfulness. She wants to keep you from being rejected, embarrassed, or hurt. But playing small to stay safe only keeps you stuck.
You can thank her for trying to protect you – and then make the brave move anyway.
Create a running list of moments you’re proud of:
Call it your “Evidence File.” When your inner critic gets loud, open it and remind yourself: I’ve done hard things before. I can do them again.
You don’t need to get it all right. You just need to keep showing up with love – for yourself.
When your inner critic starts nitpicking your body, your choices, or your dreams, offer yourself the same kindness you’d give to someone you love.
Perfection is impossible. Self-compassion is powerful.
You are not too old. You are not too late. And you are absolutely not alone.
We all have an inner critic – but we also have the power to turn her volume down and turn our own self-trust all the way up.
The next time she shows up uninvited, remind her gently: You’ve got this. You’re evolving. And you’re becoming the woman you were always meant to be.
Is your inner critic scared, dramatic or stuck? Have you given her a name? How do you deal with her?
Tags Empowerment
When I had a business I used to go to a monthly networking event. One I went to had a motivational speaker as a guest. He spoke about the inner critic voice and said to give it a silly cartoon voice (his was Mickey Mouse) when it was getting to you.
Trust me, it works!
love that—and yes, it totally works! Giving the inner critic a silly cartoon voice instantly takes away its power. It’s such a fun way to remind ourselves that we don’t have to take that voice seriously. Thanks for sharing this!
I really enjoyed this! I’ve forced myself to take ballroom dance lessons at our local senior center and have been very self conscious, but we’re learning Jive this month and it’s similar to something I’ve danced since I was in my teens so I’m enjoying myself more. I wore a bold black and white print top this past week with a red and black neck scarf and when dancing with a man I’ve known for some time was having so much fun I let out a little uncharacteristic whoop and I think he was pleasantly surprised, laughing and commenting about it. I’ve relived that totally unrehearsed moment a few times since and it always buoys me up. If people only knew what I was really like inside!
I absolutely love this! What a beautiful moment of joy and self-expression—it gave me chills in the best way. That bold outfit, the laughter, the whoop… it’s all you shining through!
Love this article! Thank
you!!
Thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed it—it means a lot! 💛
Great words.
I’m travelling at the moment and seeing lots of beautifully made-up, well-dressed women and long to be them.
This article has some good phrases to keep on repeat.
When get home again, I’m going to restart my daily journals of positive self talk. I found writing things down to be a game changer after years of scoffing at it.
What a beautiful reflection—thank you for sharing this. I love that you’re restarting your journaling practice. It really is a game changer, isn’t it? And I totally get that longing—we all have those moments. But the truth is, your real power comes from the work you’re doing on the inside. Keep going—you’re already becoming that version of yourself, one kind thought at a time. 💛✨
Thank you for this article that hits home for me. I AM my own worst critic, and it brings me down to feeling like nothing. I am going to practice what I read here; I started by naming my inner critic Alice. Let’s see if I can turn my worst critic into my best friend!
I know how you feel. About 30 years ago I was a mature undergraduate and a tutor told me I was letting my inner critic talk me out of a good degree classification as it was telling me I wasn’t as intelligent as the 18 year olds at university when I was actually older, wiser and more well read.
Thank you for sharing this—it’s such a powerful example of how that inner critic can distort the truth. I love what your tutor said—sometimes we need that outside reminder to see our own strengths clearly. Older, wiser, and more well-read? That sounds like a major advantage to me! 💛 Here’s to quieting that voice and owning your brilliance.
Thank you so much for sharing this—and wow, naming your inner critic Alice is such a powerful first step! I love that you’re taking this on. The fact that you’re aware of that voice means you’re already shifting things. And yes—you absolutely can turn that critic into an ally. I’m cheering you on every step of the way. 💛