As the end of the year approaches, I begin to putter around in closets and cabinets, donating those things that I am not using. I enjoy simplicity and orderliness. But it’s not just the cabinets and drawers that deserve attention, it’s the stressful things in our psyche that we should be willing to give up.
The cycle of life is a wondrous shedding of old skin and getting comfortable in the new skin. So, I invite you to think about the worn out things you will retire at the end of this year and the new ones you will embrace.
When I turned 65, I got rid of a lot of stuff. They were all items of clothing, replete with a box of hair dye. Those things were designed by someone who thought that I should be pulled in, pushed up, squeezed together, have to balance when I walked… and oh yeah, have different colored hair.
And yep, I had bought into it. When my husband moved from full time work to the part-time, semi-retirement that we now enjoy, I got rid of the things that were someone else’s idea of how I should be:
Any leftover pairs of panty hose that I had hiding in the drawers, I axed. I hope that whoever invented these sausage casings of the late 1960s has to spend time in a pair in some purgatory like place.
Every last pair bunion-producing, blister-inducing, high-heeled shoes that I saved, thinking that one day I would wear them to a Christmas cocktail party were replaced by something flat, warm, cozy and wide. I prefer to take care of my feet.
People in my little valley wear warm flannel shirts when they gather, and no one gives cocktail parties anymore, do they?
I wanted to burn all of my underwire bras, with the tight, nasty, cutting straps. But they don’t actually burn – I know. I tried once in 1969 by ceremoniously placing my bra in a trash can and lighting it. It kind of melted, but didn’t really catch fire.
Does this even need an explanation?
I worked with my hair stylist so that I could stop dying my hair. Now it’s turning silver. I prefer the word silver over grey, because silver sparkles and I think that women our age sparkle.
Now here’s the new skin in which I am still growing comfortable:
A commitment to spend more time laughing – any old comedy with Robin Williams usually does it for me. A glass of wine and chocolate can definitely enhance the experience.
We don’t let ourselves cry nearly enough in this culture. We judge it as negative or unnecessary, or we’re embarrassed. Forget that! Tears are cleansing, soothing and releasing. A good cry can give you a sense of tenderness and open-heartedness, or a much needed sense of release.
More walks with friends are both a great exercise as well as a social activity. When I worked every day, I sometimes met friends for lunch. It was convenient and a way to connect.
These days, I’m able to invite friends for a walk, early morning or late afternoon. The goal is still to connect, but connect in a place where we get some good exercise and are surrounded by nature. I haven’t given up on lunches, either.
I didn’t have the time to volunteer during my office days. These days I do, and as a result, I’ve met wonderful, like-minded people who share similar interests.
I get to feel good about giving my time and energy to a worthy cause, and giving provides a balance to my life, reminding me how fortunate I am to have good health and love.
A lot of women our age pursue in earnest those arts or crafts that they never had time for. For me, it’s writing. I wanted to write in my younger days, but it seemed that life was always intervening with marriage, mortgage and work.
With fewer restraints, I enjoy a full and rich writing life and a literary community. This is a great time to immerse in your passion, be it an art form, a craft like sewing or knitting, or words on a page.
What we shed are the ‘things’ that gather dust: the things that bind; the things that have become clutter. The new skin is made up of the intangible – purpose, meaning, connection, joy and love. It’s really a pretty good trade off.
Happy Holidays to everyone. I celebrate Christmas, and it’s been such a pleasure to be part of the Sixty and Me family! May your holidays be warm and may your heart be filled with love. I appreciate you.
What things are you willing to shed and what are you reaching for in your new skin? Please share with the community in the comments section.
Tags Holidays Inspiration
If your bras were tight and your shoes gave you bunions and blisters, it’s no wonder that you abandoned them. Perhaps they were a bad fit to begin with, since I have never had that problem. Never wore thongs, either, except for the ones that go on my feet. I rarely have the occasion to dress up, and wore panty hose for the first time in over a year the other evening, but enjoyed that special feeling. I guess at almost 77 years old, I am still not ready to yield to being “old”. Your mention of looking like what someone else thought you should look like is a bizarre idea to me, as I have never felt that way myself. I want to like what I see in the mirror before I walk out the door.
I love the 2 perspectives. I, am in agreement with the author, but I can certainly see your side of things too. Fabulous that we are all so different!
i LOVE a good cry. there are sad things that happen, and when that’s not expressed, it festers (not news). i’m definitely a proponent for a good cry. i live alone, so i don’t have an audience when i feel melty, which is great — i can melt, clean up, represent
Another wow moment! Loved this piece of shedding our skins for new ones to grow into. I loved getting rid of panty hose and high heel shoes just to look good for others! I am starting to put ME in front these days and it’s tough to do but it’s coming slowly but surely! Each day is a new day and 2025 is going to be an interesting ride! All the best to you all!
I agree Sara. Part of my new journey is to do more self care. Something I’ve never done before and only because I put others feeling and happiness before my own. I will continue to be myself but only to those who appreciate it.
The Thong comment made me laugh out loud!
Thanks for the list, Happy New Year!
Beautifully written, inspiration article! Thank you, Stephanie.