Monday morning, you wake up feeling ready. You’ve planned out your meals, planned your workouts, maybe even told yourself, This time will be different. You feel motivated. Committed. It’s going to happen.
And then by Thursday, life had other plans.
You’re exhausted from work or various engagements. A stressful email lands in your inbox or an adult child calls with a problem. Someone brings pastries to a meeting. You’re too tired to cook, so you grab whatever’s easiest. You skip your workout because, honestly, the couch is calling your name. And just like that, the momentum is gone.
You tell yourself, I’ll get back on track Monday. But Monday comes, and you’re starting over. Again.
This cycle that you’re in? It’s not about willpower.
And it’s not your fault.
The real problem is that you’ve been taught to rely on something that was never meant to last. Motivation is a fickle beast, and a terrible long-term strategy for your health.
It’s fleeting. Unreliable. It disappears the moment life gets inconvenient.
And if your entire plan hinges on feeling like doing it, you’re setting yourself up to fail.
So if motivation isn’t the answer… what is?
Most women think their struggle to stay consistent is a personal failing. That if they just tried harder – found the right planner, a more exciting workout, the perfect meal plan – this time would be different.
But here’s the truth:
Motivation is an emotional state.
It spikes when you start something new – when the possibilities feel exciting and fresh. But just like excitement, it fades. Because emotions fluctuate. They shift depending on your energy, stress levels, and what’s happening in your day.
The realities of midlife are that:
None of this is about discipline or drive.
If you’re trying to build a healthy routine on motivation alone, you’re working against biology.
That’s why you’re stuck in the same cycle – starting strong, falling off, feeling like a failure, then repeating the whole thing again.
My client Diane was convinced she just wasn’t disciplined enough.
She is a high-achieving woman – 30 years at the same company, responsible, dedicated. But when it came to her own health, she couldn’t figure out why she kept dropping the ball.
She’d start a routine with the best intentions. A new diet. A gym membership. She’d be all-in for a few weeks, then life would happen. Stress at work. A last-minute project. Too many late nights at the office.
The workouts stopped. The healthy eating faded. And every time, she told herself the same thing: I just need to try harder. Next week will be better.
But then, Diane had a realization:
She wasn’t failing. Her strategy was.
So she stopped trying to rely on motivation.
Instead, we built a system.
The result?
She stopped feeling like she was constantly starting over. She wasn’t waiting for motivation to strike – because she didn’t need it anymore.
Her health routine became automatic.
Related read, The Power of “Half-Assing” Your Health: Why Perfection Isn’t Necessary for Progress.
The women who succeed in midlife health aren’t the ones who try the hardest.
They’re the ones who stop relying on motivation and start building systems that keep them on track – even when they don’t feel like it.
Here’s what that looks like:
Instead of setting unrealistic goals (daily hour-long workouts, no sugar ever again), start with what you know you can actually do.
Lower the bar. Build momentum. Progress beats perfection every time.
Most bad health decisions happen in the moment – when you’re stressed, hungry, or tired. So take decision-making out of the equation.
When you don’t have to think about your healthy choices, they get done.
There will be days – stressful ones, emotional ones, days where you’re sick or just don’t have it in you.
Instead of aiming for perfection, have a bare minimum plan.
The goal isn’t to do everything. It’s to keep moving forward.
If you’ve been waiting for motivation to come back, I have good news:
You don’t need it.
What you need is a strategy that works even when motivation is gone.
This is exactly what I teach in my FREE Spring Reset Workshop on March 28th – how to break out of the all-or-nothing cycle, build habits that actually stick, and create a system that works for your life.
Because if you want real, lasting change? You need more than just good intentions. You need a plan that actually makes it easy to stay consistent.
Click here to sign up for the Spring Reset Workshop now. It’s absolutely FREE.
Do you often wait on motivation to get you where you want to be? What would your health look like if you stopped waiting to feel motivated, and started building habits that actually fit your life? What habits do you want to create and maintain?
What a radical approach, lol. I’ll have to try it. I have noticed that it’s easier to eat healthier and feel satisfied when my fridge is full of a car of nourishing and tasty things.
Yes! It really is radical, right? To make things easier on ourselves instead of harder?
ha ha!
And you’re spot on—when your fridge is full of satisfying, nourishing options, it’s amazing how much easier it becomes to eat in a way that actually feels good. No willpower required—just a bit of setup that supports the choices you already want to make.
Sounds like you’re already building the kind of environment that makes consistency doable. Keep going—you’re on the right track!
Thank you – this all makes sense.
I’m glad it was helpful! Have you looked at motivation in the past as something that you need to do the thing?
It comes and goes, but I really like what you said in your article. Instead of worrying, I prefer planning. Working out solutions.
This makes perfect sense. Thank you!
You’re welcome! Is there one action item that you’re going to try to implement from the article?
Are you talking about me? Wow! I’ve signed up! Thank you!
LOL!! Terrific. I’m looking forward to meeting you!
Oh my goodness, ths ia so helpful! Just the key thought that “Motivation is a fickle beast” and that we have to do set-ups in ways that we can’t fail, well, this is very very helpful. Systems! Like when our kids were small (for those who had kids) we’d streamline the morning routine into a system, so no one is late for school or work and evryone has a healthy lunch, no one rushes around, and even on a bad day it all gets done: that’s because it’s all in the set-ups. I’m definitely going to do more of this now; thanks for this article, Elizabeth Sherman!
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment! I love how you connected it to parenting routines—what a perfect example. You’re exactly right: when something is set up as a system, even the “off” days still move forward. No motivation required, just structure that supports you.
That’s the magic of systems—they take care of you when you don’t have the energy to care for yourself. Whether it’s packing lunches or choosing a satisfying meal after a long day, the less you have to decide in the moment, the easier it is to stay on track.
I’m so glad this clicked for you—and I’d love to know: What’s one area in your health you’re thinking about setting up a system for next?
It’s getting to the gym and the pool every day! So many other things intervene, and then the day is over, and (sigh) one more day missed. I’ve got to find a way to get there in the non-crowded mid-morning OR midafternoon periods of the day, between say 9 and 11, or between 1 and 3. It’s not that far and I’m retired so I really do have flexibility—-just lots of commitments to friends, partner, hobbies, chores. Busier than ever! But really there has to be a system that will work. I have a swim-gear bag all full of what I need for pool and sauna. But there it sits.
Thank you so much for this encouragement!
I so appreciate you sharing this—and it sounds like you’re closer than you think. The fact that your swim bag is already packed? That’s a system that’s ready to support you. It’s not failing—you’re just one tiny step away from following through on the commitment you’ve already made to yourself.
And I hear you: it’s so easy to let one day slide. Especially when everything else feels urgent and you know the gym will still be there tomorrow. But here’s the thing—what we do each day is what shapes who we become. Every time you choose to prioritize your health (even in a small way), you’re reinforcing that identity: I’m someone who takes care of myself.
It’s not about perfection. It’s about becoming someone who gently holds space for her own needs—just as she does for everyone else.
Maybe the next step is deciding which two days this week you get the 9–11 or 1–3 slot. Put them on your calendar like you would a lunch with a friend. You deserve to be on your own priority list, too.
Saving these helpful words and working on the next steps! Thank you!