I was living in Mexico in 2022, contemplating a return to the U.S., when my sister emailed asking if I would be interested in a derelict hunting shack on the property abutting the family farm where she and her husband live. She suggested that it could probably be gotten for the price of removing it, and sent pictures.
It was unfinished and had been abandoned for years. Inside, a stained, mouse-eaten upholstered chair, a stool, a table on metal posts bolted to the floor, strings of flypaper black with dead flies, and leftover trash from take-out meals left me wondering who had occupied this place. The one large window was broken. Pink fiberglass insulation sagged between the studs and a plywood ceiling and floor completed the ambiance. It was not love at first sight. But she said the structure was sound and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. That 440 sq. ft. building had potential.
There were other considerations. It would mean a move back to northern Minnesota winters. The farm was hours away from any of my daughters. Not only that, it was 40 miles from the nearest town with a grocery store. But after the traumatic years of Covid and the marauding monkeys in Bali, and nine months with 160,000 other people in the high desert city of San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, the remote isolation of the farm spoke to me.
Several weeks later, I was talking with a creative designer friend about my ideas. He listened to me gush for about three minutes, then said, “Honey, you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.” I was completely taken aback and before I could even think, I responded with an indignant, “Just watch me!”
That was three years ago. Now when people walk through the front door of my transformed hovel, their jaws drop. I’ve been vindicated!
I had a vision. I focused on it. I believed in it. No one else could see past the existing, sad mess.
That happens in many different ways by well-intentioned people in our lives, especially as we age. Some folks seem to know so much better than we do what’s good for us. But they can’t see inside our heads. As I started sharing my vision, I could have been influenced by the skepticism of friends. Based on their warnings, I might have scaled back my expectations and settled for something far less than my dream.
Fortunately, I listened, evaluated their advice, took what made sense because some of it did, and created a home that thrills me over and over again.
Even if others cast doubt, believe in yourself. Dare to go for the silk purse. Maybe for you, that means travel, or writing a novel; better yet, a trilogy! Maybe it’s getting involved with a theater group, learning a new language, or starting your own company. But be prepared for a few Negative Nellies to cast clouds of gloom over your shiny, new idea.
You’re retired!
You’ve earned your rest!
Why would you want to complicate your life?
You don’t really want to do that!
You won’t have time for your grandchildren.
Are you sure you have the energy?
Have you talked to your kids?
Is your (husband, wife, partner) on board with this?
Don’t argue with them or try to defend yourself. You know your limits. Just smile and go about doing what you want to do. There’s way more potential in most of us than we’re given credit for. The fact that our birthdays have entered bigger numbers shouldn’t diminish our desires, or the courage to act on them.
Are you fired up about a special dream? What is it? Does it take a lot for you to hold fast to your dream? Have you heard any feedback that you used to achieve your dream?
Tags Empowerment
Thank you for this! How Fun! (a little hard work never hurts us). I have a pretty heafty list of projects that seem to never get completed. Between caring for my husband and enjoying family…it’s hard to stay focused. You have inspired me!
Caring for a spouse and enjoying family are hugely important. But so are you. Hope you can fit yourself into the schedule soon!
Totally agree
Thanks for saying so!
I’ve given up on many ideas and dreams because of naysayers. Maybe they weren’t strong enough dreams? I don’t have a new dream yet, and maybe I never will – and that’s okay too.
That breaks my heart, Ava. The poet Langston Hughes wrote:
“Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, then life is a broken-winged bird
that cannot fly,” I sincerely hope you connect with your heart’s desires once again.
To the author – Sherry Bronson . . .
This is a wonderful article! It inspires me to keep going with my own aspirations. — My question to you is – How did you like living in San Miguel de Allende? The reason I’m asking is that one of my dear friends recently left the U.S. – all starry eyed about the romanticism of living in SMA – and went to live there. So far, she likes it . . . but I’m wondering how long that might last . . .
Of course, I wish my friend well in SMA l – and as long as she wants to stay there, I am happy for her to do so – but personally, I have my doubts about the entire notion.
Any insight from you about SMA would be helpful.
Thank you!
Thanks for your comments and questions, Amy. I wouldn’t trade my year in San Miguel de Allende for anything. I met wonderful people, both local residents and expats and made a few ‘forever’ friends. I love the cuisine of that part of Mexico, and the cultural festivals cannot be rivaled. There were always mariachis in the Parque Centro, and I couldn’t resist going every week to the huge, Tuesday Market.
The drawbacks, for me, were:
The high desert climate – coming from tropical Bali, it felt barren.
The steep streets – I walk everywhere and it was hard on my otherwise good knees.
City life – SMA is 160,000 people and lots of tourists add to that number. I prefer more peaceful surroundings.
I always felt safe.
But it meant an International flight whenever I wanted to visit family. It was over an hour by shuttle to the nearest airport. It wasn’t a permanent solution for me.
Great great story thank you💕
I’m glad you enjoyed it.