Are you in over 60 and single? Whether you find yourself solo by choice or by chance, embrace your independence! You’re certainly not alone.
There were just over 40 million adults ages 65 and older in 2014, representing 13 percent of the US population according to the US Census. That percentage is expected to increase to 20 percent in 2030, when the entire Baby Boomer generation will be 65 or older. America is getting older, much older – and it is also becoming more single.
The same Census data revealed that single persons made up more than half of the population in 27 of the 50 states and that 34 million people (28 percent of the US population) were living alone – up from 17 percent in 1970. More Americans are living alone and liking it. Life does not require a partner to participate.
Today’s singles (of all ages) are leading full lives, are happy with their lifestyle and are enjoying their independence. And – they are far from lonely or isolated. Studies have shown that single men and women tend to be more social and involved in their community and with their families than married couples, who often “turn inward” after coupling up. Solos tend to be a caring, social bunch.
The reality is that most Americans will spend more time solo than in a married or committed relationship over their lifetimes, and especially as they grow older. Solo is no longer just “a stop” on the way to “a happy ending.” For many, it has become a lifestyle choice and, often, the destination. For some, it’s an unexpected development or the unavoidable result of growing older.
If you are navigating your 60s alone, this is truly your time – whether you are retired or still working. Make it all about you. Plan for your financial and emotional goals. Create a strong sense of community so that you have a social, emotional or caregiving support network when you need one.
Retiring solo – and growing older in general – is all about choices. It is about choosing how to spend your time and with whom, and choosing to protect your health and strengthen it, so that you don’t have to fight to regain it in the future.
Most importantly, it is about choosing to begin. Regardless of what your life may be like right now, you have the power to make choices that improve it. Or as George Burns famously said, “You do have to get older, but you don’t have to get old.”
My book, Retiring Solo, outlines how to plan for a happy, healthy, independent future that includes good health, friends and community. It focuses on the benefits of being solo.
Being alone and feeling lonely are not the same. Being alone can be empowering, while loneliness stems from a lack of meaningful connection. Recognizing and addressing loneliness is key to maintaining emotional well-being.
Strategies to combat loneliness include:
Rekindle relationships with family and friends or join groups with shared interests, like book clubs or fitness classes.
Explore new hobbies, attend local events, or travel with group tours for older women to meet like-minded people.
Read 15 Indoor Hobbies for Women Over 60.
Helping others through community service can foster purpose and connection.
Read Volunteering Abroad Destinations for Active Women Over 50.
Stay connected through social media, video calls, and online communities tailored for women over 60.
Read How Technology Can Help Ease Social Isolation.
Loneliness is an opportunity to reconnect with yourself, build relationships, and explore new experiences. With proactive steps, you can transform solitary moments into a fulfilling, connected lifestyle.
You don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself. Your days are yours to plan and enjoy. You can eat what you want, when you want and with whomever you want.
You have confidence that comes with age and experience. You’re not scared to ask for what you want or need, or to say “no” when necessary. Likewise, you can accept a “no” without being devastated.
Your money is yours to save, spend and care for. Financial decisions are yours to make.
You can travel when and where you want to. And you can be messy or neat. You can spend as little or as much time as you want with friends, dating or gloriously alone. It’s your call.
You’re happy with who you are and what you want from life. As a result, you no longer need to care about the Joneses and what they have, or what other people may think. You have confidence in yourself and you are happy. You may even be sassy. That’s a term that the Daily Mail coined to describe women who are in their “single sexy 60s.” I hope that it applies to you!
Embrace your single, 60 self and get ready to have your best year ever. You can make this year anything that you want it to be. Remember: The choice is yours – and yours alone – to make.
Read The Ultimate Guide to Solo Travel for Women over 50.
Also, read 9 Reasons Why Cruising Is Great for Solo Women Travelers.
What do you like about being single in your 60s? Do you find yourself spending more time with other women who are in the same situation? What advice would you offer to someone who is in their 60s and newly single? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section.
I am very happy being single over 60 as I too got out of a toxic unfulfilling relationship. I spend time with others, while volunteering and at activities I enjoy. There are a lot of women who are single by choice or through the death of their spouse at the events I attend. My advice is to get out there and be active – there are more of us out there than you might realize and we are quite happy! I have no desire to live with or marry at this stage. I enjoy dating but I enjoy my freedom much more. This is a great time in our lives. I am still working and looking forward to retiring in a few years.
I too have been single my entire life – I will turn 70 this year. I lived my life alone – no career mentors, no boyfriends, no spouse; I made all my life decisions on my own. Oftentimes I feel sad about the huge void of never experiencing true love in my younger years, but now I have completely lost any desire to find love. Oddly enough it’s also extremely difficult to establish female friendships at my age, despite my efforts and community involvement. It seems most women don’t wish to expand their circle of friends, but I remain hopeful.
Much of what I hear about how it’s better to not be in a relationship assume that all relationships require excessive amounts of compromise to the degree that it borders on self-destructive. That’s probably the case much of the time, but that lucky woman who has had 1 or 2 really good relationships knows that a relationship doesn’t have to be that way. One does not need to be solo to be able to do what you want. You just need to be with the right person. Unless you’re raising small children, why would you need to be solo to spend time on hobbies, see your friends, watch movies of your choosing? I’ve been able to do all the above in my last 2 (committed, monogamous) relationships. (One ended when my husband died, the other ended when the man had a breakdown.) I know I was very lucky to have had that much love in my life, and it’s unlikely I’ll have that again. I’m not interested in a partner who is so controlling that I’d have to give up my “me” time to accommodate him. That winnows down my options to a very small number of possible men. My point is that all relationships don’t have to be so controlling and soul-sucking.
I love your post it is so true! I to am single due to my spouse passing. I learned as a child that you get from a relationship what you put into it. So I guess what Im trying to say is that it takes 2 to make a couple. There should be no one controling anyone, just 2 people enjoying life together and making the best of it, however still having me time if that is what you choose. It can be done I did it for 38 years. I find it strange that so many people say that single is the way to go. I do not agree with that at all. I almost think that is a selfish decision. It says that you dont have time to try to have a relationship or want to put in the work it takes to live in a relationship. However it is not fair to judge anyone else, just live by yourself, do you, and love it, but dont knock relationships!
Well said, Sharon, and it needed to be said. Many older people loving the single life are survivors of bad relationships. I get what they’re saying. But I have been on my own since childhood (now 74) and did have some exceptional relationships along the way. The longest one was five years, and those were good years. Just saying.