How a Pot of Soup Can Be a Cure for Loneliness After 60
I listened to a program about loneliness and was struck by how much of it there is in society today. We’ve become isolated by the very technology that was designed to connect us.
We can also be isolated because of family constellations spreading out across the globe, rather than remaining in their childhood communities, or family nearby who sadly are locked into their mobile phones and think that is the new way of ‘connecting.’
The program focused mainly on aging in England. In a country of approximately 53 million people, a heartbreaking statistic that came from a study is that fully 200,000 older residents reported they went 30 or more days with no meaningful communication between themselves and loved ones or friends.
A nod from the postman or grocer or a medical check-up was about all they got. Chances are, because some may be embarrassed to admit they are lonely, 200,000 lonely folks may be far below the actual number touched by loneliness.
In a previous post I wrote about the five key pieces for lifelong wellness. Number four is thinking positively and surrounding yourself with positive people, which hopefully is synonymous with loved ones with whom we have deep and playful conversations.
It needs to be a regular part of life, connecting physically and emotionally with others. We know infants cannot survive without touch, and it seems likely that none of us can for any length of time.
Loneliness Harms Your Health
This latest study suggests that loneliness has serious health implications. The researchers determined that chronic loneliness is a greater risk to health than smoking 15 cigarettes every day!
It is also dangerous than obesity. Dying from a broken heart is not just an expression – it is a true health risk to feel alone and disconnected.
What Can We Do?
Whether you are feeling lonely or know someone you suspect may be lonely, something as simple as a shared pot of soup can work miracles. As a woman living by myself, I’ve always said that eating by myself is one of my least favorite things to do.
I make a point to share meals with friends and family on a regular basis and love to make simple meals for them. I’m also blessed to have close connections with my clients where a sense of mutual respect and trust exists.
Other Ways of Connecting
Remembering that some people may be embarrassed to admit they are lonely, look around and invite someone in for a cup of tea and keep it simple. If you are the one who is feeling lonely and are able to get out and about, visit your local library or neighborhood grocery store.
Once again, being aware of how technology can isolate you from others, pass by the automated book check outs and go up and say hello to the librarian. Ask for recommendations on new books or check out the library’s event listings.
Go through the grocery aisle that has a human, and talk with them. You’ll make their day happier too. More research shows that even these simple engagements with local shopkeepers or librarians can lift the spirit and add some spice to your day.
Another way to overcome loneliness is by volunteering to do something that you find rewarding. It may be holding newborns in an intensive care nursery, bringing a talent you have to a retirement home, or helping out at an animal shelter. It’s a wonderful way to lift your spirits and make a positive difference.
The Sixty and Me community, while an online form of connecting, also gives us all an opportunity for sharing our ideas and thoughts. It’s a safe place for interaction, and the large number of women who join the conversation says it does us all a tremendous service.
My Favorite Soup for a Gathering
A slow cooker makes it easy to prepare a shared meal, as does a big pot of soup. A very easy to make, delicious bowl of Tuscan Bean soup is always a crowd pleaser, and very easy to make. If you’re not one to soak your beans overnight, choosing a few cans of organic beans will do just fine. Head on over to my blog post for the recipe and give it a try.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Do you think loneliness is a problem in your community? How have you been touched by loneliness? What are some of the ways you deal with it? Please share your tips and join the conversation!
All comments made were wonderful and I relate most to the lady who says she rarely feels lonely. I do miss my younger years with all close family also living close (within ten miles) and for me those days do not exist now. However, no one mentioned their relation with God. I am not exalting my own spirituality because I am actually greatly lacking there – but I do feel that I am never alone in this world and a heartfelt prayer can be as simple as talking with God. No one is ever truly alone.
I’ve been lonely most of my life. I’ve learned that connection can be with nature, pets, plants, a clean house, a hobby or interest, your own body through exercise, breathing, just plain life. Culture and society (especially now with social media) makes one think that connection has to be with people. That’s not true. Connection with LIFE is what we need. “Family and Friends” is not a reality for everyone. Thank you for this reminder. I enjoyed reading this article!!
I would also add music to your list.
I think loneliness is also a perspective, for you can even be lonely in a crowd of people or even at a party. I miss the days of my phone ringing off the hook, people wanting to connect, to get together etc. Now with technology we text to check in and have to make time to get together. My tips, put down the phone, do something you enjoy whether you are at home or out and find enjoyment in everything you do.
I am 80 and guess I must be a true introvert. I’m rarely lonely. I almost can’t understand people feeling loneliness. I am just the opposite. I rather resent the days on which I am required to go out and always look forward to returning to my apartment, usually feeling exhausted because I’ve had to put myself out and relate. I couldn’t have children and all the members of my immediate family have passed on. I am currently taking two dance classes for which I enjoy “dressing up” and just signed up at a gym again so I can walk on the treadmill. I read a lot, I stream movies, but usually prefer to read. I enjoy shopping at thrift stores and decorating my apartment for the seasons. I have a degree in journalism and have become a true news junkie as politics in the U.S. has turned from just slightly crazy to insane. I generally avoid social media and read the news online via AP News, The New York Times and The Washington Post. My phone is turned off most of the time. It’s there for me, not vice versa. What’s not to like?
i love the visual here – i, too, have some things i enjoy automatically. i recognize a need for human contact, and walking down my street with my pup usu gets me a conversation with a neighbor or few. i concern over the concern for human contact, so i make the effort. i have a small social circle. my kids are adults, and i remember how hard it was to fit a conversation when i was running from hither to yon. so i let my kids have the space they want as best i can and take care of myself as best i can and i have much to entertain myself also. thanks for your perspective — it’s nice that there are people who appreciate their own space and time like i do
My Sentiments Exactly.
l Am Always Alone But Never Lonely.
Its Just Me,Myself and I But
I Love It. Am My Best Company.
l Thrive In Solitude 🌟
Beth, as I have gotten older, I enjoy my own good company more. A friend mentioned she joined an online dating site. I told her the thought of dating gave me indigestion. Friendships are far better imho. But they are getting rare especially since I relocated.
I try to stay off ‘news’ . It reminds me how clueless people are when they voted in the monster. It’s everywhere and depressing. NPR use to be delightful in the morning and it has become the trail of tragedy worldwide – same problems always. You have to wonder what is behind all of this. I think we know.
It’s snowing again – storm 5 in the frozen tundra. The dryer is completing my last cycle. Coffee is waiting and I think I will bake today. I do love the quiet. The snow is beautiful!
Regarding journalism, I wrote for a local newspaper for a while. I can’t bare to read most of the stuff printed. It’s incomplete and most is recycled every day.
One winter day in Kansas made a big pot of chili. Way too much for my family.
the roads were snowy and ice covered so I knew elderly neighbors wouldn’t get out. The kids red wagon sat unused in the garage so I bundled up and wrapped the stew pot in a wool blanket. Down the block I went with ladle in hand. My door to door delivery was a big hit with hugs from many.
What a great story, Rebecca. Thanks for sharing your story and your generosity
It sounds like a Kansas thing. My nextdoor neighbor, here in KC, texted me to offer her extra potato soup on a day I really needed it. She had no idea I had been sick for a week. I had been longing for potato soup but didn’t have the energy to make it when out of the blue she arrived at my door with yummy soup. I was delighted and nourished by her cooking and thoughtful sharing.
that’s beautiful. and no small effort on your part – thank you for sharing that!