Finding Love After 60 – Advice from the Sixty and Me Community
Finding love after 60 is a major topic of discussion and curiosity for women in the Sixty and Me community – and with good reason. Many women over 60 are embarking on a new stage of life with different relationship statuses than were common in our parents’ era. Some women are recently divorced. Others became widows or simply chose to never marry in the first place.
The popular franchise The Bachelor is airing its first-ever Golden Bachelor with contestants aged between 60 and 75. This goes to show how dating over 60 is trending! Watch the trailer to meet the women participating to win the 71-year-old bachelor’s heart. Will you be watching the show?
This leaves many women wondering whether it is worth re-entering the dating world and looking for the best way to go about finding love after 60.
When I asked women in our Sixty and Me community: Can we be loved again? Is finding love after 60 possible? The feedback was always enlightening.
- Finding Love after 60 Starts with Loving Yourself
- Trust Is an Essential Ingredient of Love – Now More than Ever
- Women Over 60 Value their Independence
- Love Has New Meaning for Women Over 60
- Love Can be “Found” – or it Finds You
- Practice a Virtual Flirt with Men from Your Past
- Attend a Meetup and Share Your Passions
- Men Struggle to Find Love after 60 Too
- What Do Men Over 60 Really Want?
- Why It’s Important to Make a Man Your Hero
- Despite the Challenges, Women Over 60 Haven’t Given up on Love
Here are a few of the main points on the minds of women who are grappling with the challenges and opportunities of finding love after 60:
Finding Love after 60 Starts with Loving Yourself
Many women in their 60s have been hurt, divorced, or widowed. Going through the dissolution of a marriage or a disappointing romantic relationship can often feel intensely painful. Many women over 60 are learning how to re-engage with their sense of self-worth and self-love.
Read 5 SELF-LOVE TIPS TO AGEING WITH CONFIDENCE AND JOY.
Some women said that they could not imagine being loved again. Others shared that they had tried dating, but none of their relationships had worked out. So they have started focusing on their own interests, activities, and families, regardless of whether they can find “the right man.”
Trust Is an Essential Ingredient of Love – Now More than Ever
Many women our age are having a hard time trusting men – whether due to a painful divorce or a series of disappointing dating experiences. Many women over 60 find that their sense of confidence is broken and feel disillusioned by men and marriage.
Read 4 WAYS TO REGAIN TRUST WITH MEN AND START DATING AGAIN AFTER 60.
A few women mentioned that many men our age are emotionally damaged, and others find that they no longer trust men’s motives. Others said that the longer you are single, the harder it becomes to fall in love. You get set in your ways and are no longer willing to make yourself vulnerable in the ways that dating requires, or be open to a new serious romantic relationship.
See also: Want To Finally Succeed At Dating Over 60? Make This One Attitude Shift
Women Over 60 Value their Independence
Many women our age might have had marriages where the man was “in charge” and where we might have felt we were making our own interests and needs subservient to his. Some women commented that they aren’t even looking, because they don’t want to have to take care of a man and would rather just take care of themselves.
Other women said that even though they realize that they do not “need” a man to make them happy, they would like to find someone to share their lives with.
Read DATING AFTER 60: FINDING A BALANCE BETWEEN INTIMACY AND INDEPENDENCE.
Love Has New Meaning for Women Over 60
One challenge of dating over 60 is that the whole concept of romantic relationships has a different meaning at this stage of life. When the traditional roles have gone away, women over 60 are looking for different things in a man than we might have wanted when we were in our 20s, 30s, or 40s.
Most women our age are interested in finding a man who shares mutual interests, common dreams, and a common worldview. We want to be appreciated and have someone with whom to share adventures and laughter.
We are no longer looking for a relationship with the goal of having children and building a “home” together. Dating over 60 is often more about having fun and finding a partnership of equals. This can be positive or negative depending on what you want from a relationship.
Some women enjoy the fun of meeting new people and going on casual dates, while others might find casual dating to be lonely or disappointing.
Read AM I READY TO DATE AGAIN? 10 QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU DECIDE.
Some women might distrust the motives of men who have been divorced multiple times, or who seem needy or inattentive. There are definitely many good men out there, and hopefully, women over 60 can get what they need out of their dating relationships. The foundation is trust, healthy relationship boundaries and habits, and mutual respect.
Read DATING TIPS FOR MATURE WOMEN: 7 SIGNS HE’S BAD FOR YOU (AND 7 HE’S GOT IT BAD FOR YOU!)
Love Can be “Found” – or It Finds You
According to our Sixty and Me community, there are many places for women to find love after 60. Many women have had success with online dating if they approach it with a positive attitude. Not sure where to start? See our Top 5 Best Dating Sites For Seniors.
Other women have met good men at church or in community organizations, or just while out walking in the park. Another option is to simply go to the places you love and do the things you love to do. Any man who shares your interests is likely to be frequenting the same places.
Another idea that is gaining in popularity is to hire a dating coach. If you are willing to invest some time and money in personal sessions with a dating coach, you might find better matches faster. At the same time, you can learn a lot about yourself, your preferences, and your life goals along the way.
Read DATING OVER 60: *HOT!* ADVICE FROM 2 DATING COACHES (ONE MALE, ONE FEMALE) YOU NEED TO KNOW!
And 5 THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN A SENIOR DATING COACH OR AGENCY.
Practice a Virtual Flirt with Men from Your Past
Social media has opened wonderful doors for connection, so don’t be afraid to look up a single high school friend and even consider attending your next reunion or class event. Use LinkedIn or Facebook to casually say hi to interesting men you’ve met at events. You will find out soon enough if they are married or committed, so for now, just be friendly and see what happens.
Let single girlfriends know that you are actively looking for a relationship – maybe they know someone who is perfect for you!
Attend a Meetup and Share Your Passions
Many cities have an organization called Meetup. You can join groups for everything you can possibly imagine including hiking, art, photography, travel, or dining out. They also have events for men and women our age and can be a great opportunity to meet new people, whether you are looking for love or not.
Men Struggle to Find Love after 60 Too
Often the conversation about dating over 60 focuses on the idea that women are at an inherent disadvantage with too many eligible women our age chasing too few good men. While this is true, men our age are often struggling with the same types of worries, doubts, and negative feelings that women might have.
Before your first date, try to understand the psychology of an older man – he is also probably feeling a bit nervous, hesitant, and afraid of rejection. So start a conversation, flirt a little, laugh a lot, and be feminine and fun.
Don’t feel like you have to control the whole date, drive conversation, or make all the plans – try to help him feel competent and comfortable. Dating should not be a power struggle! Be spontaneous and go with the flow.
When I interviewed David Wygant, he pointed out that men want to feel appreciated too. They want to feel desirable and honored. They want to feel you recognize they have something valuable to offer, whether it’s conversation, companionship, or shared interests.
Enjoy each other’s company and try to find something to admire about every man you meet. Even if it’s not a “love connection,” take the attitude that there are plenty of fish in the sea. Here’s my interview with David.
What Do Men Over 60 Really Want?
It’s time to set the record straight. Here’s the deal. Most men do want to be in a relationship with women closer to their age. This is because they share a common history with each other. Most men do try out younger women because they feel appreciated by them, something they don’t always feel from women their own age.
You see, men want to be your hero. It’s literally in their DNA coding to keep you safe, protected, and provided for. They want to make you happy and will do anything within their power to make that happen for you.
See also: What Do Single Men Over 60 Really Want? This Dating Coach’s Advice Will Surprise You!
Why It’s Important to Make a Man Your Hero
Making a man your hero is the secret to getting his cooperation easily. These two phrases will bring out the hero response in a man. They work very well when you need him to do something for you.
Phrase #1 is “I need your help…” then ask for what you need.
Phrase #2 is “Could you do me a favor…” then ask for what you need.
When I’ve used these phrases, I’ve had men tell me they love helping a woman who needs their help. Try it. It will make a huge difference with the men in your life.
Despite the Challenges, Women Over 60 Haven’t Given up on Love
Perhaps the most encouraging sign from our Sixty and Me community is that the vast majority of women over 60 seem to be optimistic about the prospect for love in their lives. This can take the form of a marriage, a committed relationship, or just walking down the street holding hands with someone special.
Love can be part of your life at any age. Hopefully, we all can be brave, confident, and open to possibilities, and willing to take a chance on letting love into our hearts once more.
Read more articles about dating as women over 50:
THE PROS AND CONS OF DATING AS A BOOMER WOMAN.
SENIOR DATING TIPS: WHY YOU SHOULDN’T GIVE UP UNTIL THE 6TH DATE.
LOVE AFTER 50: CAN REJECTION BE A BLESSING IN DISGUISE?
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What are your feelings on finding love after 60? Is it possible? Is it too hard? Are there any aspects of dating over 60 that you’ve found to be surprisingly fun and enjoyable? Please leave a comment below.
I’m 60 and met someone on a dating site 6 months ago. He and I get along on all fronts and I’ve come to care deeply for him. I’ll even say we’ve fallen in love. He told me recently he has a young child from a previous relationship and because our relationship appears to be going in the right direction, he wanted to “lay the cards on the table.” My thoughts are all over the place…any advice? I’ve asked for time to think this through.
I am a widowed man who was happily married for almost 25 years. My wife passed 14 years ago from bone marrow cancer. In the past 14 years, I have dated a total of 6 women from two dates to 2.5 years.
Our culture is very different today than it was 50 years ago in several ways. First, women who were married thhat were managed all their lives by overbearing men, need to realize that widowhood is polar opposite to divorce. Don’t start with “trust is the most important thing in a relationship” to a man that took a leave to care for his dying wife. Faithfulness and trust are demonstrated over getting to know one another. Second, if your ex stole you money, don’t expect a 60 year old man to work a first or second job to have a repayment plan for you. Work out a repayment plan with your ex before the divorce is over. Finally, anyone eho is widowed know how devastating that loss is. Opening your heart and keeping the barriers down is the only way you will find a good partner in life. As widowed men are widoeed longer they too get sick of the scams and games women play. And don’t expect much from dating sites. There are many many scammers on all these sites. Find things to do nearby that will provide interaction in the community to meet others.
Some really sage advice here Oliver…sorry for your loss and I hope you find a companion…if that’s what you seek.
Oliver,
So very sorry for your loss and well said.I personally would be wary of online sites as well,too many unsavory and hidden variables there.
A virtual flirt? Have u lost your mind??
That’s just encouraging an affair. Bad advice!
I have tried online dating for over 10 years now. I am currently 60 years old. I found some men that I liked and enjoyed companionship and romance with in my early fifties. However, the past 2 years or so I have run into so many men who want to rush into a sexual relationship, some when they even have some ED issues but pretend they don’t. I think women want to feel special and loved before they enter the sexual part of the relationship. At least I do. Men seem so very different and eager to rush in to it. I don’t understand why we are so very different at this age. I’ve even had men say “oh yeah we’re all dogs”, Even heard them admit to being “penis brain”. One even tried to manipulate me many times to get me to bed and he would say things like “Oh, you know all the tricks don’t you.” It makes me feel unvalued and makes me feel like the relationship is not authentic. Do you think someone should rush into a sexual relationship to keep the man’s interest?
I completely get it,the “creepers” are so vile online,I personally prefer to be single and not have to deal with the vulgarity,some of the same post on here,they can’t even keep they’re obnoxious sexual prowess off of a site like this…..I tell the Neanderthals to just get a blow up doll and keep it moving…lol
I’m a 60 year old woman, and I have found an abundance of love with a man I met in Fb groups. And I’ve found a best friend and confidant in another. There are groups for whatever you’re interested in, and it’s a good way to meet people with similar interests.