Not long ago, I stumbled upon an old article from 2008 in MORE magazine. MORE ceased publishing almost a decade ago, but I had made a point of holding onto the article. Written by author Erica Jong, “How to Thrive When Your Babe Days Are Over” offered a provocative perspective on embracing life beyond youth, with Jong highlighting the importance of thriving in all stages of life – even in a culture that often glorifies youth.
“Let’s face it, ageism – especially the kind directed toward women – is everywhere,” she wrote in her candid and thought-provoking article. “There we are in the full power of our lives, and we have to accept tongue lashings from the young and green.”
As I delved deeper into the article, Jong’s message was clear: we could not rest on our physical attributes – which are fleeting at best – as we moved through life. She encouraged readers to challenge the notion that our worth diminishes as we grow older and to embrace wisdom, experience, and an evolving sense of self.
Jong’s words resonated deeply with me; they were just what I needed to hear at the time to help quell my own fears about becoming an invisible member of society.
In the intervening years since that article was published, a new generation of mature women has emerged. And we are not ready, nor willing, to be shunted off the stage. We still have much to offer and much to do.
As society continues to evolve, so does the concept of aging. Gone are the days when reaching a certain age meant being relegated to the sidelines. We’ve come a long way from when, in 1989, 39-year-old Jane Pauley was considered past her prime as a television news anchor and replaced by a younger, and blonder, Debra Norville.
Today, at 73, Pauley is the host of “CBS Sunday Morning.” A new generation of mature women is challenging traditional notions of aging and forging new paths or expanding on their already successful careers.
Among the 60-plus generation, there’s a growing movement of high-profile women who are using their celebrity status to challenge societal views and normalize aging. Christie Brinkley is one of them.
Brinkley, who turns 70 this year, has shown that age is no barrier to success. In her former life as a model, she graced the covers of countless magazines. But these days she has embarked on some new ventures. She is the head of Bellissima, an organic sparkling wine brand, and will be the face of a clothing line, called TWRLL, set to launch in the spring.
Brinkley regularly shares glimpses of her busy life on her Instagram feed, proving that age is just a number. She recently posted that “women in their 60s,70s, and beyond are continuing to thrive and realize their dreams! Fearlessly reaching for their goals, or newly imagined pivots! Embracing change and going for it keeps us young at heart and mind!”
Paulina Porizkova is another former model who has become an advocate for older women by candidly sharing her life – and even her recent hip replacement. Despite having experienced the pressures and expectations that come with aging in the public eye, both women have chosen to embrace their age and promote self-acceptance.
Through their positive posts and encouraging messages, they have created a welcoming space for older women and fostered a supportive sisterhood. “Look, a woman with wrinkles on the cover of a magazine,” Porizkova wrote in a recent post that accompanied a photo of her on the cover of a French magazine.
“Being represented means being validated.”
The takeaway: being relevant and contributing is not limited to youth or physical appearance, and these women are leading the way in promoting this message.
Brinkley and Porizkova gained fame at the peak of their modeling careers, but there are numerous other mature women over 60, who did not walk the runway during fashion week yet continue to be shining examples of success that has not diminished with age.
Patti Martin Bartsche is one of them. Bartsche had a long career in journalism before joining Kates-Boylston Publications, a New Jersey based funeral trade magazine publisher, in 2011. Today, she serves as its editorial director. It is a job, she says, that has “opened me up to great people I would not have had the opportunity to know otherwise.”
Reflecting on the societal pressures that often dictate how we should look, behave, and feel as we age, Bartsche said, “We all, in our own way, have so much to give, and I don’t want someone to tell me that I can’t do something because of my age.”
In fact, Bartsche posits that often some of the limits we put on ourselves are “self-internalized.”
“Listen to that voice inside of you and do what is best for you, rather than following a path that society may expect,” she advised.
The notion that we should step aside at a certain age is one Bartsche sees as foolish. “What is important, though, is that we step in a new direction.” And for that, she has a great model: her 87-year-old mother, Bobbi Martin, who still works as a substitute teacher after decades of teaching full-time.
And when people pose the question, “When are you going to retire?” her response is priceless: “Do I have an expiration date?”
Staying open to new possibilities can lead to unexpected opportunities that you may have never considered before. It did for Pam Lamp of Nashville, Tennessee, who hosts the popular website and podcast series, “Who I Met Today.”
“For years, I wrestled with figuring out what I wanted to do with the time I had left. I figured I was too old, and I had waited too long to really sink my teeth into a meaty project. The truth? I was scared of putting myself out there,” she said.
Eventually, she did, creating “Who I Met Today,” a website where Lamp interviews interesting people of all ages and all walks of life. The site’s tag line “everyone has a story” encapsulates the premise of the site.
“It’s been the scariest – and the best – adventure of my life,” she said.
“I think sometimes women have talked themselves into age-related stereotypes – I’m too old, it’s too late, I can’t do this now because no one will take me seriously, I haven’t kept up with popular culture or technology. But, nowadays, we ‘older women’ are better at forging ahead, researching and learning, and doing what we want to do.”
Lamp has learned that being appreciated is a great motivator. “Once we realize we do have a voice that people listen to, it makes us want to do more,” she said.
Confidence is key at any age, and funeral director Doris Amen exudes confidence. She stands tall, speaks her mind, and believes in her abilities. She is also engaged in one of the few professional careers in which older age is an asset.
Amen has owned a funeral home in Brooklyn, New York, since 1989, and is a fixture in both the neighborhood and the funeral industry. As young people come and go in funeral service, she remains a constant. For her, retirement is out of the question, and Amen has a one-word answer for those who ask: “Never.” She is deeply connected to the work she does, having built her business on her special ability to relate to the people she serves.
“We have worked hard to earn our position on the ladder of life,” she said. And with true Brooklyn moxie she dares anyone to kick her off. “We have wisdom and life experience that the younger generation lacks.” As she says: “I forgot what they haven’t learned yet.” She also has one reminder for younger people: “One day they will know what it’s like; no one stays young forever.”
Above all, be mindful of the progress you have already made and the experiences that have shaped you. As you continue to write your own remarkable story, remember that age doesn’t define you.
Do you consider yourself fierce and fabulous? Who are your role models and how do they inspire you? What have you accomplished at your current age that makes you feel relevant?
Tags Empowerment
Great article and great comments from readers. My approach to staying relevant and finding purpose into senior years, and this may be counter intuitive to what most think, is to remain silent and still and LISTEN to a higher power’s calling. It will become clear eventually what your next mission in life is. But in the meantime, stay connected to people and do not isolate.
Listening to a Higher Power helps me shed the non-essentials and as they say, Put first things first.
Since retiring, I have discovered art and attend a 3 hour group weekly. I am also in a church crafting group and am a member of the Women’s institute. I also walk my dog for 3 miles per day and enjoy gardening. I have also volunteered to administrate a Facebook communications church group. In addition, I enjoy theatre and keeping fit. I start my day with half hour of aerobic exercise before breakfast, which sets me up for the day and I like to find and try new recipes. When I get time, I like to read and do crosswords ir Sodoku. Life is never boring.
I think you are a great model for a nice balance of interests and activities in retirement! Thanks for sharing your comment.
Yes, staying fabulous is my mantra.
Mine too!
I definitely identify as a “never going to retire” woman. I stopped working as a Marriage Family Therapist in 2007, and started writing.
Since then I’ve written four children’s books, one coming of age novel, and I’m revising another novel and another children’s book. I’m a contributor to our community newspaper and, I facilitate a weekly writing
group for adults at the Palos Verdes Library.
I’m 78 years old, 79 in March. I took six weeks off last fall when I had a hip replacement, and now I’m back to my normal routine including exercising at least five days a week and I just started yoga.
Years ago, my friend and I started a book club and this March we celebrate our 27th anniversary.
Although I might not look it, I feel young, worthwhile, I’m confident and I love my life.
I also love Sixty and Me!
Bravo, Mary Jo… your are my hero! Any suggestions or support with writing skills for me in Carlsbad CA?
I turned 75 last month. I try not to think about age. I do whatever I want and go wherever I want. People don’t ignore me. Maybe it’s the way I present myself.