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Coping with Our 70-Plus Year-Old Bodies – Is It Even Possible?

By Ann Richardson January 23, 2024 Mindset

When my son, now in his late 30s, was about five years old, he made a remark that has stayed with me ever since. He had gone through a stage, thankfully brief, when he would pee unexpectedly, leaving a small visible stain on his trousers.

I asked him, I suspect with some exasperation, couldn’t he tell when it was coming? “No, Mum,” he said, “it is kind of like an ambush.”

He hit the nail on the head. Our bodies do ambush us all the time – from childhood right on up. We don’t see it coming.

The Struggle with Our Bodies

It starts as early as any of us can remember – we ran too fast on a pavement, we climbed that tree and, all of a sudden, we found ourselves on the ground and in pain.

From small scrapes to broken limbs, we learned early on that our bodies could be a nuisance and did not behave as we had planned.

Not to mention the many childhood diseases. I got absolutely all of them – measles, German measles, even Scarlet Fever, which was very serious in those days. I have a number of chicken pox scars to remind me of that particular bout.

And, of course, numerous colds and flus that came and went, as I mixed with other children at school.

Our teens and beyond brought an even bigger ambush – the menstrual period. It arrived when we least wanted it and, for some of us, on no particular schedule. We waited for it to come and, at some point, worried when it did not. Or, we wanted children and worried when it did.

We have all spent some hours over the course of our lives thinking about what was or was not happening down there. With no control.

Older Bodies

Of course, as we grew older, we were subject to large numbers of potential illnesses. Many of us have been through one or another life-threatening disease and many of us have lost friends through this route.

I lost a good friend to one of the worse scourges of our time, HIV/AIDS and, with his help, wrote a book about people living with AIDS and HIV.

And things only get worse as we age. “Old age is not for sissies,” they say, and they are right. Our bodies ambush us in one way after another.

The older we become, the more prone we are to serious illnesses that stop us in our tracks. We cannot hear or see as well as we used to, we can no longer run as fast as we would like, if we can run at all. And even the problem my then five-year-old son experienced rears its annoying head.

Some of us, although presumably not those reading here, lose our minds, bit by bit, to one kind of dementia or another. This is an ambush like no other – not part of anyone’s life plan.

Attitudes

How do you feel about all these events taking place within your own body? Do you quietly accept that this is part of being human and we should struggle through with dignity? Do you feel it is part of God’s plan?

Or do you, like me, rail against them? I have been amazingly healthy all my adult life, as was my father. And, like him, I get enormously angry when my body lets me down. How dare it not do what I want it to? Who gave it permission to succumb to a cold or flu or worse?

Yes, I know this makes no sense. I should accept each challenge as it arises. It is part of life’s rich tapestry. You are doubtless made of stronger stuff.

My husband says I will be indignant on my death bed – and it may well be true. I will let you know.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What was the worst health problem you experienced in your life? Do you accept these challenges as part of the human condition or do you rail against them? Please share your attitude in the comments below.

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Donna

I have lived probably most of my life un diagnosed and diagnosed bipolar. It was before the internet was all the rage. I was busy raising three kids. You just went along with what they said. You tried to tell them I feel like I need to start over. Long story short. Later. Divorce. Move 700 miles. Start over. New doc. New meds. New love. Educated myself more and more and more. I fight back all the time. I know I am in BIG trouble when i despise my disease. I have developed my bag of survival. My husband, my Lord, my meds, I run daily, my therapist, I journal. Some days it’s just a few things and some days it’s a lot of them. What ever it takes. I am 65 this year. I am living life. Stress throws things out of wack. My husband of 15 years is waiting for a kidney transplant after having a liver transplant 20 years ago. Stress yes. BUT. I am coping. I am using my bag of tricks. I want to be 85 with my visiting angel waiting for me to finish my 5 mile “run” with my walker. Or in a nursing home having wheel chair races in the hall with my husband. I try to think positive. I’ve been in the dark hole holding on with a pinky fingernail. No thank-you.

Rosamund

Praying for love, light and peace in your life. Wishing you health and happiness. Happy New Year xXx

Maria Murad

Dylan Thomas said it best:Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Ann Richardson

I wrote about this poem awhile ago, see https://staging.sixtyandme.com/how-we-die/

Judith Louise

Thank God for a Sane and Genuine article. I am In my seventies and tackling all kinds of unexpected depressing revelations from doctors. Yes…..I fight back with ‘movement’ and ‘diet’ and at most times ‘positive thinking”. Dealing with these issues is challenging. But made more challenging by all the magazine articles and podcasts telling seniors to eat well and exercise and everything will be alright. If it were true most of us could be run a marathon . I have a rare spinal disease which was discovered when I had a Xray for a for an injury sustained while gardening. Just yesterday I went for an eye examination and was told that my right had cracks in the retina caused by a rose thorn that was surgically removed in the early 1990’s. The news – the eye is likely to be blind within the next three years. Currently my husband is in hospital fighting for his life. A blood infection has spread throughout his vital organs. Collapsing kidneys, damaging heart valves etc. etc. All treatments have proven unsuccessful. Due to my spinal disease I don’t drive or shop. I must rely on others. I am lucky if I get to see my husband two hours a week. On the bright side……..both my husband and I are excited to have been married for more than fifty years. Together since we were 17yrs old. Its our greatest treasurer.

Joanne

Judith, I’m so sorry you and your husband are facing such significant challenges. But your gratitude for your marriage is a great example and blessing to others and will be a great part of your legacy. xox

c capasso

Not sure what she means. I’m 74, a healthcare professional, and I know what to expect at my age. No surprises for me. I’m pretty much happy about my life so far…..

Celia Bass

I am 77 yo, and my grandson tells his friends that I am the strongest person he knows because I had polio as a child with my left leg affected throughout my life, and I had half a lung removed when my lung cancer was discovered. I never smoked so I was one of those who gets lung cancer from something else. Since then, I’ve broken my hip and had replacement, and now actually have a foot two weeks after surgery to have bone spurs removed that hurt with each bending of my toes. This surgery was on the foot of my strong leg( non-polio leg) so steps and walking has been difficult. But…I go to floor yoga twice a week, and hope to continue my 1+ mile walk daily as soon as this boot comes off. You just have to keep trying, and moving.

The Author

Ann Richardson’s most popular book, The Granny Who Stands on Her Head, offers a series of reflections on growing older. Subscribe to her free Substack newsletter, where she writes fortnightly on any subject that captures her imagination. Ann lives in London, England with her husband of sixty years. Please visit her website for information on all her books: http://annrichardson.co.uk.

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