In Defense of Binge-Watching

My son died unexpectedly in December of 2018. After the flurry of activity and visitors surrounding his funeral service, I found myself alone in the house we had so joyfully shared. I was still in the throes of trauma, not capable of deciding or doing much. It was the dead of winter. It felt like everything around me was frozen or dying. Just getting through each day was the best I could manage.

My Netflix Journey Begins

I found the nights most difficult to bear. I’d heard about streaming services but felt I was already paying for cable and didn’t need any more expenses. Then, late one night, in desperation, I signed up for a one-month Netflix trial.

My friends had been talking about Grace and Frankie for years. I knew it was about the friendship between two women after they divorced and their husbands married one another. As my divorce was horrifying, I had no desire to watch a whole series about it. But my friends kept insisting I’d like the series and find it funny if I just gave it a try.

In early January 2019, there were three 13-episode seasons available. I watched every night, starting around one or two in the morning, until I fell asleep at the table while watching on my laptop. By mid-January, I’d watched 39 episodes. On January 19, they released 13 more. By the end of those 13, I had some equilibrium back. I was able to get into my bed to sleep. Grace and Frankie saved me.

A Binge-Watching Partnership

The pandemic isolation found me struggling again. While my three dogs provided lots of snuggles, they weren’t much for conversation. I began to Zoom with different groups and those weekly connections were lifelines. It was when I reconnected with a high school classmate who had buried his wife the week before the shutdown that I found solace with a fellow person in grief.

He too, understood the loneliness of an empty house, exacerbated by complete isolation from the world. We discovered that we could binge-watch Netflix at the same time. We relied on crime drama and thrillers like Longmire, Designated Survivor, Bosch, even venturing into the British Broadchurch.

We’d limit ourselves to watching one episode, but we had a few nights where we couldn’t wait to find out what happened next and watched two. We’d chat before and after, talking about the episode and life in general. Sometimes we made it a cocktail hour. We made plans to travel together after the world reopened.

Much to my heartbreak, he died unexpectedly before we could meet in person. The first few nights after his death, I binge-watched our current series, staying up all night, crying and missing my friend until it was done. I still occasionally pull up one of our favorite episodes and watch it, think of him, and celebrate our binge-watching partnership.

Binge-Watching Gets a Bad Rap

People complain that binge-watching is mildly addictive and gobbles up time. There’s some truth there, as I recently discovered Heartland on Netflix and can easily spend an evening or a night enjoying family drama on a horse ranch in Alberta, Canada. I’ve had to set limits. I can because this watching isn’t trauma-based or trauma-healing. It’s just fun.

I’ll defend binge-watching for times of dire need. I’m grateful Grace and Frankie was there when I most needed it and that I could keep rolling over to the next and the next episode until I could finally sleep. I’m thankful I could share a series with a friend in similar need.

Sometimes we need to give ourselves a break and do what we need to do to hold on until we can do more. Me? I’ll defend binging if it gets you through. I recently discovered that I can watch all the seasons of some of my old favorite TV shows. Hmmm. I might need some boundaries there.

How to Make the Most of Binge-Watching

Here are five tips to guide your binge-watching experience.

1. Choose the appropriate genre: comedy, drama, crime, horror.
2. Only watch shows you genuinely like; it’s okay to quit a series.
3. How do you feel while binging? If it helps, okay. If it doesn’t, stop.
4. Stand or stretch between episodes.
5. Permit yourself to binge if you need to, no guilt.

Also read, 10 TV Show Recommendations for Those of Vintage Age.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Is binge-watching among your favorite activities? What series have you binge-watched? Is there anything new that you’re interested in?