After losing 55 lbs. in my 40s and keeping those pounds off for 16 years now (I’m 57 today), there was a reliable go-to question that I asked myself almost every day, and I want to share its power with you.
When my husband – mostly lovingly known as The Scarfer – brings home his seemingly endless supply of calories this is what I ask myself:
Do I want to be a size 8, or do I want those short bread cookies (with sprinkles)?
Now don’t be fooled, this little question appears to be simple, but it is doing some seriously heavy lifting.
You see, when gorgeous bakery treats show up in my kitchen via The Scarfer, the cave woman in me goes a little bonkers and thinks, Oh look! Beautiful short bread cookies. With pretty, pretty sprinkles! Mine!!
And the angels sing.
But with lightning speed, I’ve learned to ask myself,
And – with this one question – I shift from my cave woman ‘eat every calorie in sight’ brain to my prefrontal brain who keeps the big picture in mind. She is organized, logical and calmly tells me, those calories do absolutely nothing for your size 8 plan.
And with that, I walk away from the cookies.
I didn’t use this exact question when I was a size 16. I took the goal of losing 55 pounds one step at a time, so back then I’d ask myself: Do I want to be a size 14, or do I want to eat half of the cherry pie?
Tweak the question to your own life. Ask yourself questions like these:
There’s nothing easy about losing weight after 60, especially given our food-porn world. There’s junk food everywhere: in every grocery store, on every corner, in every restaurant.
Learning to live in a food-on-steroids world is crucial if we are to lose – and maintain – after 50.
I’ll leave you with this thought, I often throw my cave woman a bone. My prefrontal brain will tell my cave woman something like, “Look, if sprinkles mean that much to you, sprinkle them onto your banana and call it a day.”
How do you take care of your own health goals while living with someone who brings home the calories? Do you live with the – misguided – notion that weight loss ‘should’ be easy? What strategies do you use to step away from the food-porn diet?
Maybe we need to do more of this – Body Talk: How to Embrace Your Body and Start Living Your Best Life by Katie Sturino rather than being so body shamed as we have been all of our lives. I’m on a journey to feel better, to walk easier, to breathe easier…that involves embracing what my body needs whenever it needs it.
I hear you 100 percent. I had two serious health problems that pushed on me.. The other thing I write a lot about is that our culture is 24/7/365 food-porn. It’s like trying to quit smoking and there are cigarettes everywhere. — W.
Good suggestion I’m sure going to try it! Thanks!!
Awesome, Denise!
I am going to give it a try! Thanks
Thank you back! I hope you’ll consider joining us at theInspiredEater.com.
Wendy
i started smoking pot. i have structural issues, had a car wreck, and i live in a rural area where dr’s aren’t … well, i’ve had trouble nailing them down w/and HMO …. took me 19 months (no, not weeks, not days, but Months) after the wreck to even get an xray. and i had to start using mobility aids to walk.
how is this related to weight? well, i used to be hiking and paddleboarding. i had to sell the board, it was too depressing to have it drydocked so long. but the pot relaxes my muscles, so i feel less pain, in a nutshell
so i have to ask myself ‘do you want to be high or fat?’ … i have lost 20 pounds on that question
the trouble is, not all weight is good weight. i was a gym rat and runner and hiker for decades. so some of the weight i’m losing is good weight. muscle mass. i can tell in my strength, as i’m very famliar with how my body works.
so don’t go just trying to lose weight. we need food to do anything. better, i think, to watch the quality of food. but just trying to move the needle on the scale? not a well-informed approach
Beth!
I’m so sorry about your accident!! Nineteen months?! Where do you live?
You were so active. Where do you live so that could paddle board. Just a suggestion that you didn’t even ask for but, have you heard of recumbent trikes? It might be right up your active alley (I know you’re not active right now). ♥♥♥
Wendy
What a clever and helpful article. Good job.
I have found food-substitutes for fattening things I like.
And I set small, reachable goals along the way.
You eventually figure out what strategies work.
(DId you know a full cup of Cashew Milk with a tiny
squirt of zero calorie chocolate syrup = 30 calories and
no sugar? I drink it before bedtime to keep me from
nighttime foraging.)
That’s an awesome idea to drink that before bed. Almond milk is 30 cal. It’s like drinking water, but tastes better.
Do you mind if I shared your tip? It’s a good one.
Wendy