60 Secrets to a Happy Marriage After 60 from your Sisters at Sixty and Me
“Love and marriage, love and marriage go together…” Well, you know the rest of the song. If only it was that easy! In many ways, falling in love is simple. Turning our passion into a lasting marriage is something else entirely. Fortunately, we have our sisters in the Sixty and Me community to turn to for advice. Many people in our community have been happily married for 4 decades of more and they want to share their secrets with you.
What Are the Secrets to a Happy Marriage After 60?
According to the women in our community, staying close to your partner requires a combination of kindness, honesty, attention to detail and trust. It’s about taking the time to care about the little things, while keeping any larger problems that you encounter in perspective.
Many women also talked about the importance of allowing your husband to express his individuality. This is similar to the advice that dating couch, Lisa Copeland, gave me during our last interview.
She explained that men over 60 want women to express their femininity and let them feel like men. This may not be a popular argument, but, given the responses of the women in our community about marriage, there is an element of truth to this perspective. After all, women in their 60s expect to be able to follow their passions and express their individuality. Should we expect anything less from the men in our lives?
Here are a few secrets to a happy marriage after 60 from your Sixty and Me sisters:
- Put kindness at the top of your list
- Support each other’s interests and hobbies
- Give encouragement and intimacy
- Don’t underestimate forgiving and forgetting
- Be his friend. Everything else takes care of itself
- Give each other space and time to do the things you want to do
- Give unconditional love and make him feel like a man
- Pay attention to the little things – give him a hug at the end of every day
- Compromise and don’t be selfish
- Find ways to stay romantic
- Be honest but appreciate his strengths
- Make a genuine effort to understand his point of view
- Remember to have fun together
- Occasionally surprise him with a treat
- Make a man feel like he’s your hero
- Give him a home-made card, poem or handwritten letter
- Don’t take him for granted
- Never go to sleep angry
- Find ways to stay healthy together
- Look for ways to create things together
- Trust and appreciate him
- Try not to take life too seriously – just enjoy your time together
- Never stay angry with each other for more than a day
- Open your mind and your heart – the rest takes care of itself!
- Take care of each other
- Don’t be too serious. Learn to laugh with him
- Think about your partner before yourself
- Be nice to each other
- Show kindness, respect, and love
- Keep your own personal space, where possible
- Appreciate and celebrate your differences
- Bring love, loyalty, tolerance and romance into your relationship
- Do your thing. Let him do his. Get together sometimes!
- Be his best friend first and his wife second
- Respect and enjoy each other
- Never ask him “Do I look fat in this?”
- Pay attention when your husband talks
- Trust him above all else
- Don’t try to change him
- Take trips apart once a year
- Share love, understanding and confidence
- Appreciate your differences and don’t try to make him like you
- Be fair when you argue and don’t jump to conclusions
- Be honest with yourself and act as if you have nothing to lose – you don’t!
- If something disturbs you, tell him
- Support one another – say “I love you” every day and mean it
- Enjoy hugs, dinners out and sex
- Find a shared hobby to enjoy together
- Laugh at his jokes and do things together
- Love him unconditionally
- Learn to respect each other
- Give him your attention, love and forgiveness
- Have your own friends
- Remember that it’s ok to be a little selfish
- Learn to grown together
- Laugh together and don’t take life too seriously
- Have a joint plan for your finances
- Never say “I told you so”
- Respect your husband’s privacy – we all have secrets
- Know his triggers and don’t press them
Maintaining a successful marriage after 60 requires effort from both partners. At the same time, there is no reason that we can’t take the first step.
The message of the women in our community is simple – if you want to maintain a happy relationship, learn to accept your husband, warts and all. Act as if you expect him to be your hero – chances are he’ll rise to the challenge. Find joint goals and hobbies, but, also be individuals.
Perhaps most importantly, don’t take life too seriously. Learn to laugh at the small things together. Life is full of surprises, but, there is nothing that you can’t handle together.
How long have you been married? What other advice would you give to the women in our community regarding how to maintain a strong relationship after 60? What are the secrets to having a happy marriage? Please add your comments below.
My husband and I met when we were both 70 (a second marriage for the two of us). We’ve now been together 8 years, 4 months and 7 days, each of them precious.
There’s one thing that I didn’t see in the article or tips – the importance of timing.
I’m a morning person while he perks up afternoon or evening. There are often things I want to tell him at breakfast time but I know that mornings are definitely not a good time so, as hard as holding back sometimes is for me, I save it for when he’s fully alert which tends to be near lunchtime.
Sometimes he starts deep (or even techie conversations (he’s a retired engineer) in the evening but this is what I’ve learned.
I know it matters to him to talk about whatever it is so I make the effort to really listen until I no longer can keep up.
Then I tell him I really want to hear what he has to say and I don’t want to miss anything so could we continue the conversation tomorrow?
The wonderful thing is that I regard my husband as a very interesting man and I tell him so, often.
One thing I read in the article was the issue of trust. That took us a while as we both had some pretty painful marriages but, having the patience and love to build that trust over time means that we have some deep conversations and feel safe making ourselves emotionally vulnerable.
And, at the bottom, there is curiosity and acceptance.