Spending Christmas Alone? 8 Things to Do if You’re Alone for the Holidays
The holidays aren’t always a happy time – for some they’re reminders that they are lone, whether they’re widowed, divorced, separated or simply away from family and friends. Add grief to that and it’s even more difficult. Loneliness is painful.
If this describes you, these tips may help.
Redefine the Holidays
If you don’t feel like getting a tree or decorating, don’t. Can’t bear Christmas carols? Tune them out. There’s no need to explain, either. Do what’s most comfortable for you.
Make It a Time to Be Good to Yourself
In fact, this is a time for you to pamper yourself in a big way. Visit a spa, get a massage. You might even take a little trip if you can afford it – a retreat – where you spend time reading, reflecting and just relaxing.
Even a day trip is affordable for most. Take a daily walk in the fresh air, weather permitting. Exercise does wonders for our mood.
Spend Time with Close Friends
Plan some outings: a ballet, a concert, a movie. Cook dinner together. Spend time with people with whom you feel comfortable to be yourself. You don’t have to be alone all the time. Nor do you have to discuss how you feel about the holidays unless you want to and unless your companion is ok hearing it.
Reach Out to Others in Need
If you know someone who is grieving or battling a big disease, chances are they’re having a tough holiday, too. Call and make plans for a visit. Bring flowers, homemade brownies or a pretty card.
You’ll make their day brighter and sometimes, the act of bringing support or even cheer to someone else pumps our own endorphin levels up.
Make the Holiday About Giving to Others
Visit a nursing home with Christmas cards and notes for all residents. Dollar stores are great places to find inexpensive cards and it will certainly lift the spirits of residents.
Spearhead a holiday drive to provide sweatshirts and gloves or meals to the homeless, toys for children, blankets for animal shelters or help fill some other community need. Make it bigger than yourself by reaching out to friends, family and social media to get broader support.
Spend Time with Children
It’s hard not to be charmed by children’s innocence and joy at this time of the year. If you’re lucky enough to have grandkids, or grands of any kind, taking them on an outing during this time can be a real spirit lifter.
Adjust Your Expectations and Banish the ‘Myths’ Around the Holidays
There is no single right way to spend a holiday. Who knows, you may discover that you enjoy your redefinition of the holiday so much you’d want to do it again next year!
Make It Through the Day
Finally, if none of that appeals to you, just make it through the day the best you can. Sleep, watch videos, read a book. The day will soon be over.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
How about you? Do you have any ways to deal with loneliness or depression during the holidays? Please share them in the comments below.
Good morning all! I will be alone for Christmas. I have ordered a turkey dinner from a local restaurant. Planning on Christmas Eve mass. Will pamper myself with hot chocolate, a few treats and hallmark movies! Have some toys for a local toy drive and gloves/hats for another clothing drive. Focusing on the blessings!
My 90 years old neigbour, inspires me to enjoy the beauty of the season and I started decorating. She still loves to decorate her home and her home looks magical during Christmas.
I volunteer at the animal shelter, which I do regularly anyhow but especially on days they’re closed to the public. Animals still need to be cared for, the staff works every day. It’s especially gratifying to help the animals as I have no family left, and close friends are no longer local
At the age of 73, I now find myself alone, no siblings, no children nor grandchildren. Those who I had celebrated holidays with have either passed away or moved away. Friends stay within their own “tribes” and celebrate. So, it is up to me to find a “new tradition”. I think that I will attend several church services on Christmas Eve, being with my true brothers and sisters, and the time will pass quickly and meaningfully. Reflect on what you DO have and not what might be missing this year. Wishing you all the best that holidays can offer in each unique way.
I’m 59, married but I haven’t seen my kids from my first marriage since 2011, ( not my choice)we celebrate Christmas earlier so wife kids can spend time at there inlaws. I spend a very lonely sad day in my garage in our northern Michigan home. The longest day of my life. My wife checks in on me occasionally, she understands the pain I go through every year at Christmas. Not sure what project I’ll start that day. The Older I get the lonelier I get.
Matthew,
I wish for you peace this holiday season and may you find an interesting project that will allow the day to pass quickly for you.
I also wish you peace and happiness on December 25. I realize there are so many expectations around that day, and your experience might not “fit” the so-called ideal. That’s OK. I have been there. Maybe if you take the opportunity to binge-watch your favorite shows, crank up your favorite music, fix wonderful food, (and save some for your wife), your day will go faster. If weather permits, be sure to get outside for a while. That always lifts my spirits!
eveyone has a skill or talent, or both, they can share. Find a senior home, nursing home, rehab center, children’s hospital and share stories, music. You mention project, is it something you can teach to others? Sometimes this day is one to plan what good we forget we can do for others. Here’s sending good vibes you find that one fulfilling thing.
Hi, Matthew, thank you for sharing. I pray you keep trying to get in touch with them regardless of obstacles. And that you enjoy the people currently in your life. It is Amazing to have a wife that is understanding of what you go through. It’s one of those hurts that can’t be described. I pray that a miracle takes place and your kids will one day try to connect with you despite it all. Also their mother will find it in her heart to make peace with you and encourage both your kids to say hi to you. Your now wife, will be one of those women who welcome them with open arms.
Decided to take a trip to see my sister. Otherwise I would’ve been alone. Taking a trip even by yourself is a good idea. Get out of the house!