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What Is the True Meaning of Comfort?

By Ardith Bowman October 31, 2022 Mindset

One of the blessings for many of us in our 60s and beyond is living a comfortable life. This does not imply riches. It means we have found a way to have ‘enough’. We have given our time to our work/profession and family. Now is our time to relax and enjoy life. We want to enjoy our comfort. We deserve to enjoy comfort.

Still, for many women there can be a yearning or dissatisfaction lurking just under the surface.

In my experience, these women are drawn to the idea of enriching and creating more in their lives. They sense possibility and are curious. Yet, the belief that change in their lives will be work and disrupt the comfort they have crafted stops them from taking action. Up until now, this has puzzled me.

The Lure of Comfort

Now that I have married my love, I feel full. Recently, I have faced my own complacency because life is so comfortable. So, now I have firsthand experience!

I am 74 and women in my family live to be in their 90s. Most of us will if we are healthy now. So, I sat with the idea of pursuing my outdoor activities, gardening and taking care of my new home and husband for those 20 years. Sounds like a full life, right? How did my inner wise woman feel about that?

When I tapped into my inner voice, I felt the edges of depression, some disquiet, as though a light in me was being overshadowed. There was sadness there. What was that about? Shouldn’t I be joyous that I created this love and abundance in my life? I am grateful. The clear message I received is to create from the wealth that surrounds me now.

Yearning Is Normal

Life is always seeking to express itself; it doesn’t stop at 65. In fact, you as a mature woman may be at your peak of self-expression. Think of plants and trees. Plants always are in process from spring growth to flower to seed head to the next season.

Trees appear to “rest” in the winter, but they really are preparing for spring. So, if you are breathing, you will have an inner urge to grow. The nature of this urge changes over time. I like to think of it as choosing the kind of flower I’m going to be next. My life may have brought me to become a sunflower right now. Perhaps your life has nurtured you to be a rose or a dahlia. You choose.

What Is in Season

The key is to know what your heart desires right now, rather than thinking about it. If you don’t begin with your heart, intuition, or instincts then complacency is much more likely to prevail. Growing implies that some action will take place, like tending the garden with mulch, water and fertilizer so it can flourish.

What is in season for you? You may want to figure out how to rearrange or reallocate what you have in order to do more of what you enjoy and has meaning. A simple example is to reallocate funds from buying goods to having experiences.

For many of us, nurturing more love in life is a desire. Perhaps, you have a longstanding interest or something new that keeps surfacing in your life demanding your attention. Why not follow it? What might you learn? Create?

This may be a time in your life to focus on your spiritual development with whatever practices align with your experience and presence. Finally, you may want to feel more fit and healthy. It is time to acknowledge the call from within.

The Power of Growth

Once you discover what is in season for you, make it crystal clear. This is not only what it looks like, it includes how you feel when you create it.

Remember the idea that growth is hard, and you will be giving up comfort? If you allow yourself to flow with what is next for you, it will be easy. Not only will you still have comfort, but it will also be deeper and fuller comfort. Think about putting more feathers in your pillow so it is fluffy and comfortable.

Where you will end up is living with purpose – your purpose.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What is your relationship with comfort and growth? Do you embrace both? Do you have a rhythm of resting and growing? Is there a yearning in you that wants to be heard? I’d love to learn about what you desire to create.

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Karen Hoskins

I love this! Good to know I’m not the only one dealing with this sense of angst even though everything else in my world is so good. Maybe as much as we enjoy comfort we were created to stay curious and continue to grow until our last breaths.

Ardith

I love that you recognize what I’m discussing! I believe we do that this spark that wants to grow/expand. We are just so steeped in the old view of this phase of life being about limits and decline. The time has come to change this. Lucky us! Ardith

The Author

Dr. Ardith Bowman is a woman-centered coach, advancing the positive aging movement. Her mission is to empower women aged 60 and beyond to live with fulfillment throughout life. She will walk beside you, providing unwavering support and guidance as you navigate your path into more fulfillment and vitality. Find her at Becoming You After 60.

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