“I’ll work with you when I lose ______ pounds.”

I hear this frequently from Midlife women who want to work with me.

And my reply is, “No, you won’t.”

How do I know this to be true? Because it’s what we’ve been taught to do from a very early age. It’s a learned behavior that we have been carrying around for decades. We were bombarded with messaging all focused on the number on the scale.

And I am here to tell you that it is just not true and how to break this belief and start celebrating the magnificently magnetic Midlife woman you are now!

Are you ready? Let’s get started!

We Are Living in Two Universes

How is this possible? Keep reading, and I’ll explain.

Many of us are chasing two bodies when it comes to our clothes and style. Yes, the body from our younger years and our future body, the one we say we will have someday.

When we break this down, we live in two universes: the past and the future. What happened to the present? I’ll get to that in a moment.

Chasing Our Younger Body

Often, we chase our younger body. Perhaps it’s the one we had as a teenager or in our mid-20s, the one before having children. Think about how you feel when you revert to this body. I will take a wild guess and tell you that it probably doesn’t feel good because you may be comparing her to your body today.

Everything I am sharing with you, I have experienced. I longed for my younger body for decades. And when I did this yearning, I was distracted and didn’t even realize that I was coveting something that no longer existed. In fact, I probably was glorifying my younger body to be something she wasn’t!

Some could say that I was obsessed with my younger body. When I figured out how much time and energy I was wasting on this, I took a step back and analyzed the situation.

It’s hard even to remember what was important to me in my 20s and 30s. My younger body may have been tauter, perhaps not as much cellulite. And, of course, I probably never appreciated her then.

Do you remember?

The point is that we evolve. Our bodies and minds change as we experience each decade, and I am genuinely grateful for that. And because time brings wisdom, I decided to focus on what I had learned and stop focusing on the past.

Chasing Our Future Body

You know who she is, the one you dream or talk about, and typically the thought of her starts with, “When I lose the weight, I will wear these pants that have been hanging in my closet.” Or, “Someday, I will be able to fit back into this dress that I bought.” Again, like chasing our body from 20, 30, or even 40 years ago, we also focus on our future body.

Just like our younger body, our future body doesn’t exist. Yet we continue to expound energy and time thinking, dreaming, and keeping her alive.

Our closets may be full of ‘someday outfits’. Someday outfits are those pieces of clothing we still own because we know we will fit into them someday.

And if you are like me, I had my someday outfits taking up precious real estate in my closet for a really long time.

In fact, these outfits were giving me stress. Whenever I opened my closet doors, I faced these clothes as I hunted for something to wear. I felt judged; I felt ashamed.

Do you remember when, in the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy and her trio of companions, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion, entered the forest on their way to Emerald City? The trees were mean; they threw apples at them, trying to trip them up on their journey? That is how I felt as I navigated through my closet to get dressed daily!

This nonsense had to stop!

What Needed to Happen

The constant conflict and distraction of mourning my body of the past and daydreaming about my body of the future had to stop. I was never going to have either of those bodies.

What did I do? I cut all ties with both of them.

I stopped exerting one more ounce of my precious energy into this and committed to engaging with my TODAY body. Yes, my today body. The body I have now. I wasn’t paying her any attention. And there she was, rIght there in front of me, the whole time! I spent so much time chasing what didn’t exist that I didn’t see her.

Until I did.

And this is what I want for all of you.

When we focus on our body today, we stop the cycle and engage in the present.

It’s liberating. It propels us to embrace the body that has stayed with us for decades. The one in front of us is ready to be treated with the love and respect she deserves.

I give you permission to cut ties with your past and future body and reacquaint yourself with your most loyal companion.

No More Weighting

So back to how I opened this piece. Let’s stop ‘weighting’ for our style to emerge.

Time is precious, and this is truer the older we get. I don’t want any of you lovelies to spend one more second waiting to feel or look good because of limiting beliefs about some numbers.

When you let your today body into your life, amazing things happen. For many, it has been a game-changer. I work with women, who decided to welcome their today body into their life, which has changed their perspective and shifted their mindset.

I help them identify their beautiful silhouette and teach them limitless opportunities on how to dress every day, no matter what they are doing or where they are going. Retired, semi-retired, entrepreneurs, volunteers, world travelers, working full-time, wherever you are in your midlife and beyond, you deserve to step into your power and get visible with your confidence and style!

You could be wearing clothes that work for you and learn to create fabulous looks that align with your true personality, instead of looking frumpy. Many women have stopped ‘weighting’, which means they stopped waiting and have never looked back.

One was so confident with embracing her today body that she scheduled a boudoir photo shoot. Several others shared that they gained so much style clarity. They began trusting their decisions and became more self-assured and stepped into their own personal style.

I encourage you to live in one universe; the one you are in at this moment. You are beautiful and worthy of so much joy and happiness. Embrace your style by loving and respecting your today body. She’s loyal; she loves you, and only wants what is best for you.

Let her in and get to know her; I think you will be amazed at what happens.

Are you living in two universes? Which of your body images is the one you live for? Do you think you can switch to living with your today body in mind?