How to Fight Loneliness: Advice From 50 Real Women
Loneliness is a big issue for older women. With our children out of the house, many of the “automatic” relationships that supported us in the past are no longer available. In addition, many of us have gone through a divorce or lost our partner.
So, today, I want to share some advice from 50 of your Sixty and Me sisters on how to beat loneliness at any age. I hope that you will join the discussion!
Treat yourself! Order a “Celebrate Friendship” scarf now and celebrate your loved ones – and yourself!
What advice would you give to someone who is struggling to make friends after 50 or just feeling a little lonely? Do you think that it is possible to feel lonely, even when you are surrounded by others?
Nice
I am 75 and finding it hard to find places to join to meet people in the UK. Adult education classes are now rare, and I don’t go to a gym .A good friend has moved away to be nearer her son, my daughter I have not seen for 7 years but I do have a good son who is very supportive but works full time and is 1hours drive away. Christmas I always had family around but not anymore. I looked up National Womens registar and there is not one in my area so might see about starting one. Perhaps chatting on line is a start to make connections and maybe find someone who is in the same area or volunteering to help out some charity that has a meaning . I also like to chat to the younger generation and have thought about being a mentor.
These suggestions are creative- but they take a lot more than just showing up. The heartbreak for me has been I have joined, I have shown up, chatted with people, I do call and text the few friends I have and they very rarely respond in kind.. after calling a close friend who lives in another state 3 weeks in a row without a call back, I stopped calling. Creating true connection that can be relied upon is very difficult. I have volunteered, I work remotely and make efforts to be in touch with co workers – they do not reciprocate. It’s very hard to continue to make efforts and not see any meaningful efforts coming my way. It hurts more than feeling lonely, so I gradually stopped trying.
i think about this; i’ve had similar experiences. even friends where they have told me i wasn’t a good friend any more (sometimes it’s about them – they don’t want to have people see their challenges, and sometimes they simply don’t have the energy any more, but that’s not the reason they see). so, ok. i have cut people (i tell them voice to voice; i just sometimes don’t have the energy for their particular neeeeds, but i’m usu more diplomatic). my point is — there are fewer of us. we don’t have that youthful energy some days. i always figure if we were friends once, give them the benefit of the doubt on the way out.
i try to keep open to fill in the gaps in my social circle, but we don’t spend all day in classes or jobs. i no longer ride motorcycles or attend a gym daily. it’s less of a pond to fish in. so give yourself a break when you give them a break. keep trying. if you catch me on a good day, i’d be happy to hang out with you. be well.
I got it. I have three friends and have been friends for over 30 years . Since I put more the focus on learning how to take care of myself I notice that they don’t really be bothered unless they have an issue going on or need my support. I am really focused on learning how to take care of myself emotionally physically spiritually and financially. So I just take it one day at a time. Thanks for your post
I know how you feel, Jo. You have echoed my thoughts exactly. It’s quite depressing. I would love to have a meaningful friendship also. Sometimes I wish I could find someone exactly like myself, like a twin that is like looking in a mirror and they know me already without any effort.
This is how I feel too. I have a few friends who see me every couple of months for a coffee and my daughter lives far from me. The rest of the time I’m alone. I joined clubs and classes but everyone seems to go to these with a friend already. I’m only 59 but I feel like I’m 91. My life is so very lonely. I don’t drink much anymore and my acquaintances have partners, sisters, mums, 3 or 4 adult children and grandchildren. I tidy the house, go out for walks, put the bins out, neighbours are much younger and barely say ‘hello’. I have had a lot of bereavements in my life. I try to make plans with the few friends I have but they are all so busy with family that it is once every 2 months they can fit me in. I don’t work anymore as I retired and could not face work. I tried volunteering but people were much older and very clique. Tv is a big part of my life. I have no clue what to do now as I feel I have tried everything.
I’m also 59. I have no family close to where I live. Have one friend I visit once a week. I call daily relatives and friends far away. Feel like I lost my mojo.
I did contemplate going back to graduate school. Something.
I do volunteer, joined a women’s group, garden. I’m still young. Just finding that portion of how to deal with the loneliness.
Hi jo! I can relate to your situation. I’ve joined Zoom groups, volunteered, emailed, texted, but these activities have led to few meaningful connections. My closest friends are my cat and dogs.
I totally understand. I empathise. I feel the same but also maybe we should not stop trying? The lack of response says more about them than it does about you. Maybe we try with the wrong people?
After a while, you run out of people or you don’t want to beat your head against a wall anymore.
I always try to find the good in people. I do not have difficulty in making friends. I love to give compliments and I love to receive them as well. Hi, beautiful sweater, scarf, eyes or hair. I also look for communities that need volunteers. I am currently relocating to another state and there are not many Liberians in the area. I have decided sign up with some non profits and churches to meet new people. I am turning 60 on 3/20 and feel so bless.
Thank you so much sixty and me. These posts gives me motivation and inspiration. Blessings
I agree and I love to meet people’s and giving compliments. I am looking for volunteers to meet new people’s on my days off whenever I can on my off day. And I am in my 60 and looking for more motivation outside or my family. 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you so much for always being around to spend time with me when I need you most, you’re a wonderful friend!