Do you ever feel a bit lost? Are there days when you lose your sparkle and question who you are and what you’re doing? Do you sometimes feel irrelevant and that you don’t have much to look forward to? It’s so easy sometimes to get stuck in a negative spiral, isn’t it?
I’ve been there myself, and I know how hard it can be to get motivated again. Especially as we age, in a society that doesn’t exactly value older people.
One of the reasons I set up The Mutton Club was to try and change the narrative around women in midlife and beyond. I want being ‘mutton’ (ref. ‘mutton dressed as lamb’) to be something to be proud of, not ashamed.
All our lives, women are fed the narrative that we get to midlife, and it’s all downhill from there. And that’s so not true!
I genuinely believe that the older we get, the better we get. And I’m passionate about getting that into women’s heads. But how can we help ourselves when we have a dip in confidence? Here are my top tips I find useful every day, especially when I’m feeling a bit lost.
You can create your own narrative in the same way you create your own life. Be proud of who you are and where you are in life. Be proud to be mutton – it’s a far tastier meat than lamb after all!
Just because something exists as a thought, doesn’t make it true. It’s taken me a long time to learn that but it’s really good advice. You can actually change your thoughts like you change your socks. Positive affirmations can be very powerful, too. We can rewire our thought processes if we change our internal narrative patterns.
Be as nice to yourself as you would be to a friend. If your friend was down, you’d probably give them a nice nurturing positive pep talk, wouldn’t you? Well, do that to yourself. Talk to yourself the same way you’d talk to your friend.
See yourself in a scenario where you’re excelling. A few years ago I thought this was complete mumbo jumbo, but I’ve found it’s actually very powerful.
I’ve learnt that professional athletes do it all the time. They visualize themselves standing on the podium with the medal around their neck. A bit of positive self-talk can do wonders. Don’t think, “Oh, I can’t do that.” Think, “I can’t do that YET.”
Check what you think you heard. Could it have been meant differently to how you heard it? Or read it, if a message or email – those can be so easy to get wrong!
I’m not as disciplined as I’d like to be when it comes to meditation, but I’ve found it very useful for getting me back in the moment and grounding myself. Even five minutes a day is worth doing. There are many meditation apps you can use, such as Headspace (paid after the first 10 days) and Insight Timer (free).
I don’t journal very regularly, but when I do, it makes a big difference to how I feel. Taking some time each day to write down the things we are grateful for is another good way of grounding ourselves.
It could be as simple as, “I’m grateful I woke up again this morning!” Or “I’m grateful to have orange juice for breakfast!” Just keep it simple. But it helps to reframe our experience of life.
It’s easy to get down when we have no sense of momentum. Setting ourselves a challenge, however small, can be really helpful.
I’m an uninspired cook, so setting myself the challenge of baking a cake would be massive. Even compared to my first half marathon last year! I don’t know what it is about me and baking, but it brings me out in a cold sweat! Still I know magic happens outside the comfort zone.
I hope these tips may help. Always remember, if you’re feeling a bit lost, you’re most certainly not alone. It can happen to all of us. Be kind to yourself and remember: time is a great healer.
What do you do when your mojo is monkey decides to go for a walk? Do you have a list of activities that help you out?
Tags Reducing Stress
Lost my husband last year, including dating and marriage we were together for over 40 years. My mojo walked out and I haven’t been able to get it back since. I’m not big on journaling but maybe the gratitude journal will be a good idea to try. And I need to get my bible reading back on track, too!
Hello, from Elk Grove village just outside Chicago! Yes I have to get back my mojo Again I will!!
Hello from Chicago. Did you do that? Please share your thoughts..
So sorry you lost your husband. Try whatever you can and hopefully something will work.
I have a tendency to feel very alone and lose energy where I sink. I try very very hard to not stay there but give myself a limit of 3 days to wallow. But it seems more frequent these days
Me too
I loved your article, and specifically the way it was organized. Clear, with subtitles, and calm, welcoming language. Thank you!
How do I get out and re-discover my Mojo? By getting out. Backyard—to trim and snip; front yard to walk a little (though a neighborhood sidewalk doesn’t do it like a natural setting or art festival does!); or finally, getting out of my head! Knitting a new pattern, reading a book (I love HF and good, captivating stories), or occasionally a good show (though tv is a real quicksand way of living for me…I usually end up annoyed at commercials or poor writing.) So, in a phrase: getting out! It brings new perspective and refreshes my 68 yo self!!
Thank you
Today I stayed in home to rest up because of a cold so my body could heal. I decided to click this blog and here is just about where I was heading. Caught just in time. thanks