Do You Still Compare Yourself with Others, Even in Your 60s?
You’d think that, after 60, we wouldn’t have a reason to compare ourselves with others. After all, we’ve already led full lives, so why aren’t we comfortable in our own skin?
The truth is, the comparison game is something many of us secretly play. We may have a friend who’s skinnier than us or more successful. We may think they are intellectually superior. Even when we try to avoid it, we torture ourselves wishing to be just like someone else.
Would Have, Should Have, Could Have…
Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if you’d done things differently? Would you be richer if you had forced yourself to get a Master’s Degree instead of dropping out to live on a hippie commune? Would your relationship be more romantic if you had married a different spouse?
We all make choices that aren’t perfect. And some of us are good at beating ourselves up over them.
Comparison Hinders You from Reaching Goals
With more of us moving from jobs to reinvented second careers, we have goals we want to achieve. Having goals, even if it has nothing to do with a career, keeps us active and engaged.
If we continue to compare ourselves with others, it’s easy to become paralyzed and give up in frustration.
There Are No Perfect People
Those you idolize may not have the perfect life you imagine they do. You can’t always tell what’s going on behind another person’s façade.
For all you know, your life may be easier than theirs ever was. They may have struggled for years to get to where they are today. Or, they may appear to be happy on the outside but are painfully depressed on the inside.
You Are Unique
Everyone has special gifts that make them who they are in the eyes of the world. What’s important is to recognize those gifts and to own them. Like snowflakes, no two persons are alike.
Look inside yourself to see what’s special about you. Then work to intensify your strengths. You may surprise yourself at where it will take you.
We Are Always Changing
Don’t think you can never change and make your life better. We are all capable of creating our own reality.
If you’re not happy with the way your life has turned out, or are jealous of other’s good fortune, you have the power to change your life for the better.
Set a goal and keep your eye on the target. Take action! Take the steps necessary to achieve that goal and you will move forward.
If you wallow in self-pity, or think it’s impossible to change your life because of your age, your own self-limitation will stop you in your tracks.
Don’t Be Defeated by Bad Experiences
There are so many people who have dealt with the worst circumstances in life, but managed to be successful and happy with themselves.
Look at Oprah Winfrey. She experienced a rough childhood and was sexually abused at the age of 9. She had a baby at 14 who died shortly after birth.
But at 16 she read the biography of Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. It transformed her entire attitude about life, and she eventually became ultra-successful.
Spend Time Taking Care of Yourself
Self-care is the best care because it helps us become a better person and friend to others. Take the time to pamper and nurture yourself even if it’s just a simple morning walk by yourself. If you do, you’ll find you’ll like yourself more and see the gifts that are within yourself.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Do you compare yourself with others and secretly wish you were them? Why? What are ways you’ve found to avoid making comparisons with other people? Please join the conversation.
Tags Finding Happiness
I am 72 now and I still find myself comparing myself to others. I will say tho that I am nowhere near how I started out.
From an early age I felt different than other kids. I came from a non
physically violent alcoholic family. The underlying verbal abuse was pretty bad. I was smart ‘but’ I was too this and too that. As life progressed in my teenage years it got to the point of ‘no one will ever want you’ and telling a handsome boyfriend that he shouldn’t even think about a relationship ‘because I was a bitch” Thankfully we are still friends to this day.
I was also really short and really skinny and had crappy hair. My friends developed and I didn’t. They had older sisters that had great clothes that they got and did their hair. I had maybe 2 outfits to interchange during the school week.
So of course I became very insecure, could barely look up when I walked with my books close to my flat chest.
I met a nice fellow 3 years older than me that thought I was terrific and really cute. I started working in a nightclub waitressing. All of a sudden I was being told how pretty I was! I still didn’t believe it. Too many years of being an ugly duckling. I learned make up skills and finally my hair did what I wanted it to do!
I was far more confident as I aged but the doubting demons were still there. Then in my 30’s I saw a well known, handsome and classy sports figure come into the place I was waitressing. I remember thinking…I wish someone like that older guy would look my way. Well he did! Through the years he saw that i was not as confident as i appeared and he helped me work on it. He built my ego up and my confidence. He was always encouraging me to take a step further, push myself to be who i wanted to be and not to let what others say get to me. He was my biggest cheerleader, always in my corner. I finally felt secure in who I was. I went on to have a very successful career. Being a General manager of some pretty amazing companies! I could not have gotten there without his encouragement.
He passed 16 years ago and I miss him every day.
It is sad when you are growing up and someone verbally works on you until you feel worthless. It is also sad that many of us grow up needing someone other than our selves to show us our true worth. I still get my insecure moments but I try to send them out the door and tell them to leave me alone!
I am so glad you met someone who appreciated and treasured you after all you went through. What a blessing. Even though he is gone, he helped you to thrive. No one should be told they are worthless, but alcoholism changes people into Jekyl and Hyde characters. It’s sad.
Comparison is the root of suffering for sure. I know this and yet at 66 I still struggle with looking outward instead of inward to make choices in my life. Truly wish I could let go of this and trust in my own sense of self.
It’s easy to do. We all do it sometimes. Don’t feel bad about it. Just keep pressing on to meet your goals.