Have you ever wondered why some women get the guy while you struggle with dating? Today, I want to share 3 major flubs women make that keep them from attracting a good man who could be an amazing companion to share their life with.

Flub #1: Your Dating Mojo Is Missing

As confident as you might feel in real life – and why wouldn’t you be? You’ve been doing it forever and you’ve learned the tools and developed the resources that make you good at what you do – this confidence doesn’t necessarily translate to how you might feel today as a woman over 60 stepping into the dating world.

Yikes… this part of your life means having to meet new men with a totally different body than you had when you last dated in your late teens or 20s. And you might worry that he might judge you or not like you and reject you. Pretty scary!

I’ve had clients who were powerhouses in their chosen fields and in their lives. If you asked them what their confidence level was on a scale from 1-10, it would be 10+++ but asked the same question about dating today, the number often plummeted to 2 or even into negative numbers.

As we all know, our bodies and our faces have changed with age. In such a youth oriented culture, it’s easy to forget just how amazing you really are at this time in your life. And you really are! You have wisdom and a passion for life from knowing who you are and what you bring to the world.

This is called inner beauty and it’s something that makes you glow from the inside out enhancing your outer beauty. This whole package is something young women don’t have yet. And yes, you are beautiful just as you are today.

The secret is to stop comparing yourself to how you looked in your 20s. A man doesn’t know how you looked then. If he’s reaching out to you, it’s because he likes you as you are today.

Your inner beauty comes from your passion about life. You shine with excitement when you talk about the things that mean the most to you. This is something men are highly attracted to in the women they want to date. Take the time to rediscover your inner and outer beauty and bring both out into the world for all to see.

Flub #2: Only Looking for a George Clooney Type of Guy Who Is Handsome and Rich

Last time you dated, chances are the guys you were attracted to looked much different than those faces you see online today. The men of our youth were young, hot, had longer hair, toned bodies and handsome faces.

Where are they now? Well, I’ll let you in on a secret… they are the over 60s men you see online with grey hair, glasses and bellies who want to date you. And what you are probably thinking when you look at them is, My friends tell me I look young, and these men look so old.

George and the men who look like him have one thing going for them you can see right away… they are handsome on the outside. But it doesn’t mean they are great guys on the inside. That’s a story we’ve made up about the beautiful people. If they are beautiful, they must be the best.

It’s not necessarily true. What’s in a man’s heart and how he treats a woman is what really counts. Some of those older looking, grey haired, fuddy duddies are amazing men that women pass over daily. I’ve had clients date men they’d have said no to in the past. They find these men are fun, caring, and just want to make them happy. Try going out of your comfort zone by giving one of them a chance. He just might turn out to be a great catch.

Flub #3: Needing to Feel Instant Attraction or Chemistry to Go Out with a Man Again

Want to know a secret about instant attraction and chemistry? That tingle and excitement you feel in your body is a hormonal release, oxytocin that makes you feel good. It doesn’t mean a man is your soul mate just because you feel it when you meet. It’s likely he’s your type and if your type was good for you, you’d be with him.

When you were younger, you were looking for a mate to build a life with that included children, a dog, a house, vacations, and maybe a retirement plan. You were hormone driven because you needed to find a man you could have babies with.

Today, as a woman over 60, it’s not about building a lifelike you did in your 20s. Today, it’s about finding someone to create and share a good life with who will make a great companion for you. And who will be there to support you and you support him… through both the good times and the challenging times that can come with aging.

Instead of looking for chemistry, consider looking for a man who shares the same values as you and enjoys some of the things you love to do. And try men who aren’t your type. My clients do all the time and end up telling me it’s the best relationship they’ve ever had. I know it can be for you too.

What type of man are you attracted to? Do you find you’re always falling for that type? Have you tried dating a different sort of man? How did that turn out? What other flubs have you done in your dating life? Let’s swap stories!