How Is Dating a High-Quality Man Different in Your Feminine Energy
Life has been busy for me. I’m launching my new coaching program at Date Great Guys, my mom is moving into assisted living, and I met and am dating a super wonderful high-quality man who is so much fun to spend time with.
Let me tell you how this has all progressed. If you’re following me, you know that in January I met a man who was close to what I was looking for. He had some masculine energy, and took me to upscale restaurants, but he didn’t know how to present himself and talked about money all the time. In the end, he didn’t like my body type, so he was out.
In February I met another man who was even closer to who I’m looking for. Again, he had some masculine energy, wasn’t afraid to invest in an evening out, dressed better than January man and could adult well. But he didn’t want to talk on the phone EVER, unless I was dead on the highway. I really liked him but felt like something was off, so I’ve moved on.
Both these men took me to nicer places than I have been to in quite some time and treated me well in the moment. But they were missing that secret sauce for me that builds attraction over time.
And then we have March Man. All I can say is WOW. Yes, ladies there are still high-quality masculine energy men out there, and I’ve met one. He planned our first date close to my home, so I wouldn’t have to drive too far which I thought was super thoughtful. He’s smart, fun, not afraid to talk about feelings, adults well, and is definitely a take-charge alpha male.
He’s the type of man that can handle anything that life throws at him – even someone as scattered and silly as I can sometimes be and is a willing and able partner in driving this bus we call life.
So Why Do I Feel So Unsettled?
One of the interesting things I’ve learned about my feminine energy from dating this man is that it’s not always easy to lean back and receive graciously. Up until now, I haven’t had much practice, because most men lack masculine energy.
Graciously receiving isn’t as easy as you may think for smart, successful, independent women who are used to taking care of themselves and the world around them. I’m so accustomed to ‘doing’ that I’ve discovered that receiving is a skill that can be learned but that doesn’t always feel natural when you first start practicing it.
As an independent woman, I’m not used to men doing things for me to make my life easier. I’m not used to men putting my needs first. And I’m not used to men taking care of all the details. This is a totally new experience for me, and I like it… even if it does feel different. The big lesson here is that it takes practice.
What I’ve Learned About Masculine Energy Men
The one thing that has become glaringly apparent is that if I didn’t allow him to do for me, he would feel unnecessary and irrelevant. He wouldn’t know where his place is within our relationship. On our first date, he would have been extremely insulted had I offered to pay for my own dinner. That would have made him feel like less of a man. And to be honest, his take-charge masculinity makes me feel like more of a woman, and I like the feeling of being protected and taken care of when I’m with him.
When I got divorced, I knew I needed to expand my horizons. I feel like learning how to receive is an extension of this. I’m simply learning how to relax and allow things to happen, and it feels good. And as I continue to practice receiving and living in my femininity, I can already feel it becoming more comfortable for me.
I talked with a client yesterday who was having a similar experience. She also recently met a high-quality masculine energy man and was experiencing similar feelings. It’s eye-opening to learn that if you’ve never had a relationship with a high-quality man who treats you well, you may have a learning curve, but it sure makes for fun homework.
Meeting this man has also clarified that living in your feminine energy has nothing to do with giving up your independence or letting someone control you. These two concepts have nothing to do with feminine energy at all. Living in your femininity is more about letting someone step up and be a true partner to you so you can both enjoy getting to know each other at a more emotionally intimate level.
My Final Ah-Ha Moment
The one thing that stands out about my dating experience this year is that each man I met moved me closer to meeting my person. Without dating January Man and February Man, I don’t think I would have been prepared for March Man. I’m not sure I would have been open to receiving without the practice I got with these two previous men. Even though they didn’t work out for me, I felt the shift and knew meeting them was an important part of my journey.
So, if you want to find love, give yourself grace. Get a clear picture of who you’re looking for and go on an adventure to find him. You’ll never know who the right man for you is unless you meet a variety of men. Rather than give up on love, embrace those frustrating dates. Know that with every man you meet, you’re getting closer to meeting the right man for you. And the only way you won’t find love is if you stop looking.
If this all sounds good in theory, but you don’t know where to start, you can learn more about my exclusive new coaching program with my free online masterclass, How to Find Love Over 50 Without Losing Yourself. You can register here and learn how smart, successful, independent women re-ignite their love life at this stage of the journey.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
When you’re dating, what’s the hardest thing to receive? Is it compliments, nice dinners, opened doors, etc.? Have you met a man who boosts your feminine energy?
Tags Senior Dating Advice
I know why the tern “high quality man” disturbs me so much. It sounds like you’re grading beef or lumber.
It sounds to me that a “quality man” involves him having a lot of money. I have never been concerned with that. How he treats me and how he is inside is what is important.
I completely agree. A man can plan dates that you will enjoy and “show up” for you and be caring, without spending a lot of money on you. Also for many men, having spent money on a woman makes him feel entitled to having sex with her.
Hi Chris, a high-value man doesn’t need to be a high net worth man. High-quality men treat you well, are kind and considerate, and make you feel safe and loved. It doesn’t take a big bank balance to do that. I don’t typically date wealthy men. This was absolutely a coincidence. Hope this helps. Thanks for your comment. xxoo Michele
What if a person (female) is not interested in men. As a proud ally I don’t assume these things. Interesting topic but I do have to admit hearing the term masculine energy makes me feel yuky lol take care
Hi Lotus, I can’t speak on same sex relationships. However I’m thinking there will be a yin and yang in these situations as well. There has to be a captain of every ship, even if that captain changes due to the situation. Thanks for your comment. xxoo Michele
This article made almost no sense. The terms masculine and feminine “energy” are used throughout the entire article with virtually no explanation of the terms. But what’s possibly even more troubling is the author describing March Man with such overzealous, all-encompassing positive terms all the while having known him for what, about 6 weeks?!? You are dealing with his “representative” at this point; the only things you know about him are the things he wants you to see. Give it at least 6 months and get back to us.
Hi Tyclap The focus of this article was to state how uncomfortable it felt having a man do so much for me, and how it would take practice to get comfortable letting go of some of the control. It didn’t really have anything to do with the man as much as it did with how I felt when I was with the man. Thanks so much for your comment. xxoo Michele
I think most of us prefer a date with a man who tries to pick a nice restaurant (though there’s an advantage of the initial meeting being just for coffee of lunch) and he doesn’t show up in a dirty shirt. But some traditional masculine behaviours can be dangerous. If a man you hardly know insists on picking you up or driving you home in his car, DO NOT allow that. Women have been assaulted after getting into his car. Also a man’s taking you to an expensive dinner or buying flowers or gifts shows you little or nothing about his true character. I have worked professionally with victims of dating violence and every story of abuse I heard started out with a big show of the man’s courtly, romantic, Alpha male behaviour. Of course not all men who do this are violent, obviously. But these “romantic” male behaviours don’t have a lot to do with his true character.
Hi JLS, I agree with everything that you said. There’s definitely a difference between healthy and unhealthy behavior. For me, March Man was a breath of fresh air because I lived with a man for 37 years who never wrote a check, made a doctor’s appointment, or planned a vacation. It felt odd to be able to simply show up for a change. That was really the point I was exploring in the article. If he was only nice restaurants, we wouldn’t have continued talking. I would have enjoyed the food and moved on LOL. Thanks for reading! xxoo Michele
Michelle, given your past experience, I can see your point. But men, and women also, try to put our best foot forward and may act very different in the early stages of courtship.. In the early days of a new relationship, I hope I would remember that how a man is treating me early on may have little to do with how he’s going to be 6 months or 2 years down the line. I would notice how he treats his friends and relatives and if he shows compassion for people in general.
Hi JLS, absolutely. It’s simply a starting place. xxoo Michele
Alpha male wolves are the bosses of a pack. So are their mates who are alpha females. That doesn’t mean that the other males and females in the pack don’t matter. All members are important. Having alphas is important for animal groups who are predators. It’s been working for them for thousands of years. However, do humans even need alphas any more? Are we still predators? I can see us needing alphas in the military and war like sports such as football. But do we need them in any other human activities? If we do, maybe we’re not as advanced and civilized as we think we are.
Hi Chris, I’m simply tired of doing all the work. I enjoy a man who makes the reservations so I don’t have to, has ideas on where to go on vacation, etc. It helps me feel taken care of and more relaxed so I can focus more on enjoying the event. In my opinion someone has to take charge, or we could spin in circles. Thanks for your comment. xxoo Michele