When I was young, I used to think that things sort-of worked out in the course of a life. I mean things, like your pots and pans and your cutlery and your living room furniture.
I imagined you bought all this stuff when you were young and then they were just ready for throwing away around the time you died.
It doesn’t seem to work out like that.
I grew up in the 1950s, where the contented suburban housewife was the prevailing image. It was easy to imagine the newly married couple all nicely set up in their newly bought house with lots of shiny new household goods given to them for their wedding.
But I never really thought about what happened after that. When was anything replaced, if at all? Like the fairy tales where people get married and live ‘happily ever after’, the ‘ever after’ for all their stuff never gets told.
In any case, this scenario didn’t happen to me, as my husband and I were very poor (two graduate students, after all), had a small wedding and didn’t get huge numbers of presents.
When we moved from our initial furnished apartment into an unfurnished one, we had to make do with a lot of hand-me-downs from my parents, putting ‘throws’ over somewhat dilapidated armchairs and the like.
I guess that should have told me something about what happens when you are somewhere in the middle – you can hand down your old furniture to your children and buy some new stuff.
And as my parents aged, I could see their furniture – and everything else – becoming a bit shabby. It didn’t seem to matter much. Much more interested in matters of the mind, they were not super house proud. Some slightly old furniture, the occasional stain on carpets and chipped coffee cups were not so serious.
At some point along the way, my husband and I moved from the US to London and, after renting for a year, we bought a house. Indeed, we bought two houses seven years apart – the second being where we continue to live almost 50 years later.
And we had to furnish these houses with all sorts of stuff, including a living room suitable for ourselves and for guests. Which we duly did.
We always tried to do everything fairly cheaply, as we were in academic jobs and did not earn much. There was no moment of splashing out on things.
Just after we moved into the larger second house, my husband saw an ad for leather furniture at a considerable discount. He had the bright idea that if we bought this, it would last well and would therefore be much cheaper ‘in the long run’.
I didn’t much like leather furniture, but I could see his point, and we bought a sofa and two chairs in a rich brown colour. I tried to soften them with bright cushions, pictures on the wall and a nice carpet on the floor.
And now aged 82 and 83, I think we have reached the famous ‘long run’. The leather furniture did last. And last. All this time.
We thought we might have downsized by now, but somehow that never happened.
So here we are with the same sofa and armchairs. Only, they are cracked here and there and are looking very shabby. I put thick tape over the worst of the cracks, but that only highlights the predicament.
Indeed, when we invited our energetic 18-year-old grandson with three of his friends recently, we decided we didn’t dare sit them in the living room because they might tear the furniture accidentally – and we didn’t want to embarrass them.
What to do? I think our only choice is to buy new furniture. Which we won’t be using for all that long for obvious reasons.
We can afford it but are loathe to spend the money. We try to be frugal more than ever, so that our children – and, more importantly, our two grandchildren – will inherit as much as possible.
The youngest generation will be facing a mountain of debts, with rising university and housing costs and the more we can save toward them the better.
And, not surprisingly, it doesn’t stop with a new sofa and some armchairs! Everywhere I look, there is need to update.
Are we the only household where the husband argues that a few holes in his undershirts or pyjamas don’t really matter?
There are many aspects to growing old and many of them I like. The need to buy new things is not one of them – and I suspect everyone has seen older people ‘making do’ with what they own.
It’s a pity one cannot buy things with a built-in obsolescence rate calibrated to your own decline. Then, things would sort-of work out in the course of a life (as I wished at the outset of this piece).
People like us wouldn’t be faced with the need for a new sofa.
Have you had to buy new things at a late stage? Was it a pleasure to have bright new things or an annoyance at the need to spend the money at this point? Do you keep some things, like clothes or anything else, well beyond their time?
Tags Downsizing Your Life
I llive in a studio in Mexico that was furnished but not to my taste; an uncomfortable brown couch, and ugly brown area rug – in a country as colorful as Mexico I just couldn’t do it; I had a deep turquoise couch made, with a lime green ottoman; a new rug and my walls covered with my old art and new from Guatemala; I’m even splurging on having a mural on my patio walls painted – mural art is very popular in Mexico; I’m 72 and living in pleasant surroundings makes me happy! Iive small but very tastefully!
OMG. I laughed out loud. I could have written this article. No, you aren’t the only ones to wear holes in your clothes or furniture and be loathe to buy new. We too need a new sofa. But darned if I want to buy a new one. Perhaps a thrift store. Someone may have bought a new piece in there old age and their children donated it after the died. lol
Thank you for a great belly laugh.
After working all my life (still working) it’s the simple things that make me happy. New paint, a plant. I guess balance is the key – in that I don’t need to wasteful. I am on my own and its too stressful. If something breaks I will replace it. Maybe not always new. Finding a bargain is 1/2 the fun. My grandchildren & children want me to be happy and comfortable.
Personally, I think you should live for you!!! Let the younger generations work for the things they want, let them set goals. You should be thinking about you and what you need or would like for today. If they don’t like what you picked out and choose not to use it when you no longer need it, so be it. You have worked and saved, now live every day for YOU!!!
I would never struggle in an effort to leave a few more thousand dollars for my kids. To me that makes zero sense. Especially if you are making your day to day life more difficult and uncomfortable by doing so. If you can afford to buy new furniture, why not do it.. aren’t the last few years of life just as important as any other years? Do we not deserve to be comfortable and feel proud in our final years?