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Yikes, I Need a New Sofa at Age 82

By Ann Richardson April 19, 2024 Lifestyle

When I was young, I used to think that things sort-of worked out in the course of a life. I mean things, like your pots and pans and your cutlery and your living room furniture.

I imagined you bought all this stuff when you were young and then they were just ready for throwing away around the time you died.

It doesn’t seem to work out like that.

Buying When You Are Young

I grew up in the 1950s, where the contented suburban housewife was the prevailing image. It was easy to imagine the newly married couple all nicely set up in their newly bought house with lots of shiny new household goods given to them for their wedding.

But I never really thought about what happened after that. When was anything replaced, if at all? Like the fairy tales where people get married and live ‘happily ever after’, the ‘ever after’ for all their stuff never gets told.

In any case, this scenario didn’t happen to me, as my husband and I were very poor (two graduate students, after all), had a small wedding and didn’t get huge numbers of presents.

When we moved from our initial furnished apartment into an unfurnished one, we had to make do with a lot of hand-me-downs from my parents, putting ‘throws’ over somewhat dilapidated armchairs and the like.

I guess that should have told me something about what happens when you are somewhere in the middle – you can hand down your old furniture to your children and buy some new stuff.

And as my parents aged, I could see their furniture – and everything else – becoming a bit shabby. It didn’t seem to matter much. Much more interested in matters of the mind, they were not super house proud. Some slightly old furniture, the occasional stain on carpets and chipped coffee cups were not so serious.

Setting Up a House

At some point along the way, my husband and I moved from the US to London and, after renting for a year, we bought a house. Indeed, we bought two houses seven years apart – the second being where we continue to live almost 50 years later.

And we had to furnish these houses with all sorts of stuff, including a living room suitable for ourselves and for guests. Which we duly did.

We always tried to do everything fairly cheaply, as we were in academic jobs and did not earn much. There was no moment of splashing out on things.

Just after we moved into the larger second house, my husband saw an ad for leather furniture at a considerable discount. He had the bright idea that if we bought this, it would last well and would therefore be much cheaper ‘in the long run’.

I didn’t much like leather furniture, but I could see his point, and we bought a sofa and two chairs in a rich brown colour. I tried to soften them with bright cushions, pictures on the wall and a nice carpet on the floor.

The Long Run

And now aged 82 and 83, I think we have reached the famous ‘long run’. The leather furniture did last. And last. All this time.

We thought we might have downsized by now, but somehow that never happened.

So here we are with the same sofa and armchairs. Only, they are cracked here and there and are looking very shabby. I put thick tape over the worst of the cracks, but that only highlights the predicament.

Indeed, when we invited our energetic 18-year-old grandson with three of his friends recently, we decided we didn’t dare sit them in the living room because they might tear the furniture accidentally ­– and we didn’t want to embarrass them.

What to do? I think our only choice is to buy new furniture. Which we won’t be using for all that long for obvious reasons.

We can afford it but are loathe to spend the money. We try to be frugal more than ever, so that our children – and, more importantly, our two grandchildren – will inherit as much as possible.

The youngest generation will be facing a mountain of debts, with rising university and housing costs and the more we can save toward them the better.

And, not surprisingly, it doesn’t stop with a new sofa and some armchairs! Everywhere I look, there is need to update.

Are we the only household where the husband argues that a few holes in his undershirts or pyjamas don’t really matter?

Growing Old

There are many aspects to growing old and many of them I like. The need to buy new things is not one of them ­– and I suspect everyone has seen older people ‘making do’ with what they own.

It’s a pity one cannot buy things with a built-in obsolescence rate calibrated to your own decline. Then, things would sort-of work out in the course of a life (as I wished at the outset of this piece).

People like us wouldn’t be faced with the need for a new sofa.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you had to buy new things at a late stage? Was it a pleasure to have bright new things or an annoyance at the need to spend the money at this point? Do you keep some things, like clothes or anything else, well beyond their time?

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Jenyce

I hear a lot of “elders” say they are just living for their grandchildren and they don’t want to spend on things for themselves because it will take away from what they can leave them.

Well at the age of 85, I am trying to live a life of joy and peace. And a part of that joy is to live in a beautiful, updated, colorful environment. It never enters my mind how many years I may have to use it, I only focus on how I am living today.

My children and grandchildren are grown and will have to do what I had to do when I was younger. Hopefully, there might be something for them, but I’m not going to sacrifice my
style of living with goals of leaving money to them.

But to each her own.

Carol Anne Cole

My Mom’s rug got so old and threadbare that it became a family joke. I said to her, “Mom, that’s not a rug – that’s a cat toy. But she knew she would be selling the house soon, as she was about 90 and she was considering moving to assisted care. We teased her about the rug, but no one really had any great ideas. All her neighbor’s houses were being torn down as the owners passed away, and new houses going up. Without yards or trees. Or space for parking. Mom and her elderly Chinese neighbor used to stand out on the sideway and try to direct people’s parking! These days people make videos of things like that. Anyway, just saying, I think my husband and I will be in the exact same position one day.

Vivian Hilder

I encourage my mom and dad who are 80 and 86 to SPEND all their hard earned money on themselves. They gave us as good a life as they could when we were growing up and they let all of us live at home rent-free until we moved on to marry and/or finish education/training for employment that could support us. They supported us with gifts for weddings and helped with money and/or babysitting when we needed it throughout our 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. I say you don’t owe us ANYTHING! You worked hard, saved hard and you deserve to enjoy spending your money on yourself to make your lives as enjoyable as possible now. If that means you buy new furniture, or spend it on travel, or hire help to be able to stay longer in your own home, go for it. I’m sad when I hear of elders trying to live frugally so that they have some money to leave their kids or grandkids. Leave us with good memories of you thoroughly enjoying your later years. You deserve it.

Madelyn

Interesting. I too am in the 80’s And I also have buy a sofa. Since the one I have will no longer support my needs. I am hating to get rid of my old sofa which I have had for many years & I like it. However, looks like I will have to buy another sofas soon if I want to be comfortable. Yes, I too will have to make a discussion regarding this matter. And I am sure I will. Thanks for sharing.

Rocket

There are so many thrift shops, moving and estate sales that often sell fabulous furniture at a fraction of the price. If the author’s furniture is so tattered she is embarrassed for her grandson’s friends to “see”, it’s time to upgrade.

Elaine Ness

Ann didn’t say she was embarrassed for her grandson’s friends to “see” her sofa; she said she thought they would be embarrassed if they tore it or further damaged it so she redirected them from the living room to sit elsewhere in the house.

The Author

Ann Richardson’s most popular book, The Granny Who Stands on Her Head, offers a series of reflections on growing older. Subscribe to her free Substack newsletter, where she writes fortnightly on any subject that captures her imagination. Ann lives in London, England with her husband of sixty years. Please visit her website for information on all her books: http://annrichardson.co.uk.

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