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Yikes, I Need a New Sofa at Age 82

By Ann Richardson April 19, 2024 Lifestyle

When I was young, I used to think that things sort-of worked out in the course of a life. I mean things, like your pots and pans and your cutlery and your living room furniture.

I imagined you bought all this stuff when you were young and then they were just ready for throwing away around the time you died.

It doesn’t seem to work out like that.

Buying When You Are Young

I grew up in the 1950s, where the contented suburban housewife was the prevailing image. It was easy to imagine the newly married couple all nicely set up in their newly bought house with lots of shiny new household goods given to them for their wedding.

But I never really thought about what happened after that. When was anything replaced, if at all? Like the fairy tales where people get married and live ‘happily ever after’, the ‘ever after’ for all their stuff never gets told.

In any case, this scenario didn’t happen to me, as my husband and I were very poor (two graduate students, after all), had a small wedding and didn’t get huge numbers of presents.

When we moved from our initial furnished apartment into an unfurnished one, we had to make do with a lot of hand-me-downs from my parents, putting ‘throws’ over somewhat dilapidated armchairs and the like.

I guess that should have told me something about what happens when you are somewhere in the middle – you can hand down your old furniture to your children and buy some new stuff.

And as my parents aged, I could see their furniture – and everything else – becoming a bit shabby. It didn’t seem to matter much. Much more interested in matters of the mind, they were not super house proud. Some slightly old furniture, the occasional stain on carpets and chipped coffee cups were not so serious.

Setting Up a House

At some point along the way, my husband and I moved from the US to London and, after renting for a year, we bought a house. Indeed, we bought two houses seven years apart – the second being where we continue to live almost 50 years later.

And we had to furnish these houses with all sorts of stuff, including a living room suitable for ourselves and for guests. Which we duly did.

We always tried to do everything fairly cheaply, as we were in academic jobs and did not earn much. There was no moment of splashing out on things.

Just after we moved into the larger second house, my husband saw an ad for leather furniture at a considerable discount. He had the bright idea that if we bought this, it would last well and would therefore be much cheaper ‘in the long run’.

I didn’t much like leather furniture, but I could see his point, and we bought a sofa and two chairs in a rich brown colour. I tried to soften them with bright cushions, pictures on the wall and a nice carpet on the floor.

The Long Run

And now aged 82 and 83, I think we have reached the famous ‘long run’. The leather furniture did last. And last. All this time.

We thought we might have downsized by now, but somehow that never happened.

So here we are with the same sofa and armchairs. Only, they are cracked here and there and are looking very shabby. I put thick tape over the worst of the cracks, but that only highlights the predicament.

Indeed, when we invited our energetic 18-year-old grandson with three of his friends recently, we decided we didn’t dare sit them in the living room because they might tear the furniture accidentally ­– and we didn’t want to embarrass them.

What to do? I think our only choice is to buy new furniture. Which we won’t be using for all that long for obvious reasons.

We can afford it but are loathe to spend the money. We try to be frugal more than ever, so that our children – and, more importantly, our two grandchildren – will inherit as much as possible.

The youngest generation will be facing a mountain of debts, with rising university and housing costs and the more we can save toward them the better.

And, not surprisingly, it doesn’t stop with a new sofa and some armchairs! Everywhere I look, there is need to update.

Are we the only household where the husband argues that a few holes in his undershirts or pyjamas don’t really matter?

Growing Old

There are many aspects to growing old and many of them I like. The need to buy new things is not one of them ­– and I suspect everyone has seen older people ‘making do’ with what they own.

It’s a pity one cannot buy things with a built-in obsolescence rate calibrated to your own decline. Then, things would sort-of work out in the course of a life (as I wished at the outset of this piece).

People like us wouldn’t be faced with the need for a new sofa.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you had to buy new things at a late stage? Was it a pleasure to have bright new things or an annoyance at the need to spend the money at this point? Do you keep some things, like clothes or anything else, well beyond their time?

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Anna

If you have two houses in London to leave your grandchildren that’s enough – nothing worse than shabby old people who can afford to look elegant and live well going round with holes in their jerseys!

Carol Bain

I don’t have a problem buying household items. If it’s needed I get it. I’ve worked to enjoy a comfortable retirement. By the way I still worry about leaving enough for my family.

Linda Hartong

At 80, we are facing the same dilemma. The dogs have casually chewed corners off of dressers , chairs and stairs. The grandchildren’s toys have scratched the furniture and floors.
I can no longer keep up with what was a large flower garden circling the house. My “new house” suddenly became 40 years old and full of wonderful memories. What to do!
My mother set man example by purchasing all new pots and pans,kitchen appliances, and that NEW COUCH at our age.
So I’m putting on new roof again, buying a new bedroom set and really enjoying the time my husband and have left together in our home.

Sharie

I’m with you, Ann! Why replace something that still works well enough? I do sew and might be inclined to make slipcovers, tho, to improve appearances. I’m happy making do in my own life; fixing, recovering, salvaging, buying secondhand, squeezing a few more years out of something… It’s smart economically and environmentally. The only piece I insist on new is my mattress; a good bed is worth its weight in gold.

Before she passed, my grandmother shared her diary. Married in 1930, she kept lists of household items as she acquired them or made them. Because of the times, she had no choice but to be thrifty and take meticulous care of their possessions. Yes, she had more money later on, but she kept using the old. In fact, in 2006 when she moved to a nursing home, she gifted me with nearly a whole kitchen’s worth of equipment, including beautiful tablelinens that she’d embroidered. Real flax linen!

I’d just escaped a bad marriage with literally the cat, a suitcase and a box of books; so it was a lovely to be blessed with my grandmother’s carefully kept items with still so much life left in them. I have such an appreciation of her and the way she conducted her life. Nothing wrong or pathetic with using the old just a little bit longer.

Jane

We buy for the life we are living. I love my home and enjoy keeping it beautiful. I watch for sales, negotiate and often take the floor model if it is in excellent condition.

Just had some major landscaping done at 75, yes 75! I would do this at 95!

Joyce

And Jane, just think of the beautiful plants that will emerge every year and make others happy when you are gone. A great investment in nature.

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The Author

Ann Richardson’s most popular book, The Granny Who Stands on Her Head, offers a series of reflections on growing older. Subscribe to her free Substack newsletter, where she writes fortnightly on any subject that captures her imagination. Ann lives in London, England with her husband of sixty years. Please visit her website for information on all her books: http://annrichardson.co.uk.

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