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Yikes, I Need a New Sofa at Age 82

By Ann Richardson April 19, 2024 Lifestyle

When I was young, I used to think that things sort-of worked out in the course of a life. I mean things, like your pots and pans and your cutlery and your living room furniture.

I imagined you bought all this stuff when you were young and then they were just ready for throwing away around the time you died.

It doesn’t seem to work out like that.

Buying When You Are Young

I grew up in the 1950s, where the contented suburban housewife was the prevailing image. It was easy to imagine the newly married couple all nicely set up in their newly bought house with lots of shiny new household goods given to them for their wedding.

But I never really thought about what happened after that. When was anything replaced, if at all? Like the fairy tales where people get married and live ‘happily ever after’, the ‘ever after’ for all their stuff never gets told.

In any case, this scenario didn’t happen to me, as my husband and I were very poor (two graduate students, after all), had a small wedding and didn’t get huge numbers of presents.

When we moved from our initial furnished apartment into an unfurnished one, we had to make do with a lot of hand-me-downs from my parents, putting ‘throws’ over somewhat dilapidated armchairs and the like.

I guess that should have told me something about what happens when you are somewhere in the middle – you can hand down your old furniture to your children and buy some new stuff.

And as my parents aged, I could see their furniture – and everything else – becoming a bit shabby. It didn’t seem to matter much. Much more interested in matters of the mind, they were not super house proud. Some slightly old furniture, the occasional stain on carpets and chipped coffee cups were not so serious.

Setting Up a House

At some point along the way, my husband and I moved from the US to London and, after renting for a year, we bought a house. Indeed, we bought two houses seven years apart – the second being where we continue to live almost 50 years later.

And we had to furnish these houses with all sorts of stuff, including a living room suitable for ourselves and for guests. Which we duly did.

We always tried to do everything fairly cheaply, as we were in academic jobs and did not earn much. There was no moment of splashing out on things.

Just after we moved into the larger second house, my husband saw an ad for leather furniture at a considerable discount. He had the bright idea that if we bought this, it would last well and would therefore be much cheaper ‘in the long run’.

I didn’t much like leather furniture, but I could see his point, and we bought a sofa and two chairs in a rich brown colour. I tried to soften them with bright cushions, pictures on the wall and a nice carpet on the floor.

The Long Run

And now aged 82 and 83, I think we have reached the famous ‘long run’. The leather furniture did last. And last. All this time.

We thought we might have downsized by now, but somehow that never happened.

So here we are with the same sofa and armchairs. Only, they are cracked here and there and are looking very shabby. I put thick tape over the worst of the cracks, but that only highlights the predicament.

Indeed, when we invited our energetic 18-year-old grandson with three of his friends recently, we decided we didn’t dare sit them in the living room because they might tear the furniture accidentally ­– and we didn’t want to embarrass them.

What to do? I think our only choice is to buy new furniture. Which we won’t be using for all that long for obvious reasons.

We can afford it but are loathe to spend the money. We try to be frugal more than ever, so that our children – and, more importantly, our two grandchildren – will inherit as much as possible.

The youngest generation will be facing a mountain of debts, with rising university and housing costs and the more we can save toward them the better.

And, not surprisingly, it doesn’t stop with a new sofa and some armchairs! Everywhere I look, there is need to update.

Are we the only household where the husband argues that a few holes in his undershirts or pyjamas don’t really matter?

Growing Old

There are many aspects to growing old and many of them I like. The need to buy new things is not one of them ­– and I suspect everyone has seen older people ‘making do’ with what they own.

It’s a pity one cannot buy things with a built-in obsolescence rate calibrated to your own decline. Then, things would sort-of work out in the course of a life (as I wished at the outset of this piece).

People like us wouldn’t be faced with the need for a new sofa.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you had to buy new things at a late stage? Was it a pleasure to have bright new things or an annoyance at the need to spend the money at this point? Do you keep some things, like clothes or anything else, well beyond their time?

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Anne

Absolutely and I continue to get broken items repaired too. It’s my home that I spend a lot of time in and like to entertain in. I have no children. I am 66 but I would want to have a nice home regardless. My mother continued to update til the very end and her home was warm and welcoming.I see no. need to apologize for this. I don’t travel much so we all have our priorities.

Sara

I like to have guests over and entertain and I want a home that I am comfortable to be a little proud of. We worked hard enough and don’t need to justify it or do it to please others. I like to be surrounded by beautiful things and so whatever furniture you have, if it brings you pleasure and joy, don’t worry about it!!

Laura

I can relate to this article! Just recently my eyes were opened when I looked around my home and realized almost every room needed some type of update. Funny things is that most of those updates were low cost! How did that happen??? lol Now our house is beginning to become more livable. I’ve avoided some of these larger updates because my husband gets all kinds of anxious anytime I start making changes. I finally decided I was taking over the updates with or without his “approval” because in the end he’s happy I did it.

PS – our home will be the biggest part of our inheritance for our family. No guarantee that our savings will still exist by the end of our life. Cost of living has increased greatly since we retired.

Mandy

Have you thought about hiring things?I know this option doesn’t apply to everything but it’s a possibility worth considering.

Sara

Yes, I had to buy new things at my later years out of necessity. I downsized and moved into a one bedroom place and by myself! This time, I had a closet and I got to choose my own furniture! I could decorate as I pleased and so I bought the most expensive item I needed which was a couch! Actually, it’s a sofa daybed from IKEA and it’s the most money I spent. Everything else is hand me down or second hand or dumpster dived and recovered!! The only thing I brought from my early years was my Hope Chest given to me by my mom. It is old and sentimental to me. The daybed is functional and used to invite guests who need to couch surf for a couple of nights. It is also large for me to lie down and relax in. Because I live by myself, I decided to go with white furniture and splash it with colours if I wanted!! Because I don’t have the space to store things, I have had to be “tough” and get rid of things I just don’t use or wear anymore!! Also, I found that at the beginning when I didn’t have certain things or utensils, I made do and it worked just fine! I think we need to live with less and I find for myself, it makes me happier!! Good luck!

Linda

In Switzerland people put serviceable furniture out on the street by their apartment buildings with a notice saying gratis. It’s never there for more than an hour as this is a city that’s 25% ex-pat because the pharma companies are here. People are sometimes only here for 2 years on secondment and apartments don’t come furnished so it’s a good way to economise as rents and the cost of living are high. It then gets passed on again or given to charity when they leave.

My dining room chairs are second hand, they were a bit tired but I covered them with cheap cotton slip covers I found for £10 a pair back in the UK. I also have junk shop finds like nice glass and china.

Debbie

Interesting article. My 82 year old mother has the same mindset…
She is for the first time in her life at a place where she can afford to upgrade her aging furniture. Many of them hand me downs, but is really struggling with spending the money on her own comfort. She wants to leave her money to her kids as well as grandkids. We are constantly reassuring her that we are doing fine and would much rather see her enjoy it herself.
I personally don’t understand it. It boost our self esteem and gives us a sense of accomplishment when we are able to do this on our own. We appreciate it more and it helps to build our character.
We work hard to get to this point in life and I think we should live it to the fullest with all the creature comforts that we can afford. If there is any money left over when we die, then great. If not, that’s fine too.
I am almost 65 and just replaced my cheap and uncomfortable couch with a much higher end comfortable couch.
I am throughly enjoying it and have absolutely know regrets about spending my money on it.
So get that new furniture if that’s what you want to do and enjoy!
I wish you all the best.

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The Author

Ann Richardson’s most popular book, The Granny Who Stands on Her Head, offers a series of reflections on growing older. Subscribe to her free Substack newsletter, where she writes fortnightly on any subject that captures her imagination. Ann lives in London, England with her husband of sixty years. Please visit her website for information on all her books: http://annrichardson.co.uk.

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