In my conversations with women who were widowed suddenly, I sometimes ask, “What do you wish you had known?” One of the most common answers is, “That the people who said they would be there for me would, in fact, not be there for me…

If this December you are feeling anything but merry and bright, it’s perfectly okay. There is no requirement to be “in the spirit,” or peaceful or joyful. And by all means, if you don’t feel like it, don’t deck the halls or hang the stockings with care…

As a life coach for widows, I often talk with people who are using gratitude against themselves. Self-inflicted, forced gratitude is how many people attempt to kick themselves into a better emotional state. It isn’t effective…

Think about the person who frustrates you the most. Perhaps it’s a family member, colleague, neighbor, or friend. Maybe you find yourself thinking, They just don’t seem to get it, or their behavior is completely unacceptable. Wouldn’t it be nice…

With six or more decades of life under our belt, we have lived long enough to gain new identities and release old ones. In some cases, identity is established based on our phase of life. We were first a daughter, then a student, perhaps a wife…

My husband and I were out of state, celebrating our wedding anniversary when his heart stopped beating. I was 39 years old and suddenly, despite my best efforts, I was a widow. I had no clue how I was going to navigate this unfamiliar territory…

Imagine that I said to you, “I hate your purple hair. It looks terrible on you.” Assuming that your hair is any color except purple, you might wonder about my eyesight but aside from that, you wouldn’t give the comment a second thought…

Human brains are hard-wired in primitive ways and have just one goal – survival. They achieve the goal of keeping us alive in three primary ways: by prompting us to stay safe, seek pleasure, and be efficient. Before humans were established…

If you feel stuck in a less-than-ideal life and can’t seem to find your way forward, consider that it may be because our brains are made for efficiency. The main goal of our primitive human brain is to keep us alive, and one way it accomplishes…

Just after the loss of a spouse, we are often absolutely certain that we will never be happy again. Even if it felt remotely possible, being happy again would feel like an insult to our beloved…