Are There Any Good Men Left to Date After 60? The Truth May Surprise You
As you already know, attracting Mr. Right into your life can be a bit challenging. Unfortunately, growing up with fairy tales as children and romantic movies as an adult, you probably got an unrealistic picture of who men are and how they operate in the dating world.
Just think Hallmark Movies. Your heart just pitter-patters when the couple falls in love, right? The movies make it seem as though chemistry, not getting to know someone, is the secret for finding love.
Looking for Prince Charming
I know when I first started dating I was definitely looking for Prince Charming to just show up on my doorstep. In my dreams, he’d sweep me off my feet and take care of me forever, financially and emotionally. Oh, and the other part of that dream was we would never argue.
Funny dream and totally unrealistic for finding and keeping love in your life! I was forgetting something important in this equation. I wasn’t looking at what I was going to contribute to the relationship, only what he was going to offer me. For some crazy reason, I figured my presence would be enough.
Waiting for the Perfect Man
Today, this scenario makes me laugh, but at the time, I really believed the perfect man would just walk into my life and I’d know him the second we met. Sound familiar? Fortunately, I’ve learned a lot since then. To attract Mr. Right, I realized I had to stop letting men choose me.
My power came from having a clear vision of who Mr. Right was beyond a couple of qualities I thought were important at the time. I had to dig deep on this and I ended up figuring out a formula called a Quality Man Template that showed me exactly who the right man was for me.
How to Find a Quality Man
My Quality Man Template is a comprehensive tool that includes looking at patterns in men you’re attracted to, your deal breakers, the qualities you want in a man, the values that are important to you and how you want to feel around him.
This dating tool does two things for you. It sends a message to the Universe that this is who you are looking for. And it keeps you from getting involved with the wrong men over and over again. Now I have a question for you.
What Makes Your Guy the Right Man for You?
So, what makes your guy the right man for you? Is it his values? The way he looks? The way you feel when you’re around him? Is it a man who can afford fine dining or expensive vacations? Or is it what he does in life?
Does he have any of your deal breakers? Is he anything like the last man you dated? A woman settles when she doesn’t honor her deal breakers thinking a man will change…he doesn’t!
Part of the reason you might be failing at finding Mr. Right is most of us get into a pattern of attracting the same man over and over again without even realizing it. At first, he seems so amazing, until the same issues you had in your last couple of relationships come back up again to haunt you.
It wasn’t until I created a patterns chart in my Quality Man Template that I was able to clearly see how and why I was doing this.
Take a few minutes to think about whether you’ve been dating the same wrong men over and over again. It’s really important because the type of men you’re most attracted to are probably the worst men for you.
Why? Because if you’re type worked, you’d be with your type right now. If you can expand beyond your usual ‘type’, you’ll have far more quality men to chose from. In my opinion, there is a guy out there who is right for you.
Just make sure you have a clear vision of who the right man is for you so you can see him.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Do you have a clear idea of the man you are looking for in your life? Have you been looking for the same type of wrong man all your life? Have you given up on finding a man in your life, or keeping a positive attitude? Please share some of your experiences and insights you gained in the comments below.
Tags Senior Dating Advice
My problem I am a widow. Met and dated a great guy..thought I had found a match. He wasn’t ready for long term relationship. Sigh
Jeanette…I’m a big proponent of dates even meet and greets being light and fun. It brings out both of your personalities when you ask questions that bring up history being shared. That being said, It’s ok to ask him on a meet and greet or a 1st date, what type of relationship he is looking for. This way if you’re not a fit, you can move on.
I have not come across one genuine guy after four years of replying to messages and putting myself out there. I am in Africa and am white – therefor different to the majority. At 53 I have learnt the good ones are taken , the rest are gay and I can’t find any more . Life is exceptionally lonely and unnatural living alone for the first time in 50 yrs. I do not know where to go to meet men. Bars aren’t a good choice, church people are married or single females and nobody meets at coffee shops or out walking and meet ups consist of single woman. I am beside myself with frustration and false hope . Always trying not to feel so disollutionedby life, so utterly bored. I cannot even find work either in Africa …soooo tiring … And I never wanted to simply exist …I was made for more
Met my dear husband on Match at age 66 and wed at 69.( He has 5 years on me). I had a list of 6 things I needed : financially responsible, interest in travel, non religious, no kids at home, healthy, and interesting:all things I had. That was 13 years ago.
I love this Shaggie!
I don’t know wh would be right for me. I sure could use some help and direction
Hi Judy…this is something I help women with everyday. Feel free to drop me a note at Lisa@findaqualityman.com and we can set up a complimentary time to chat about getting you some clarity on what would be right for you as you travel this love journey. xoxoxo
I tried dating sites years ago, but honestly, if people only look at the surface (your figure, your face, and so forth) how in the world do they think there is going to be a connection? I figured people that used dating sites were kind of shallow, so I moved on to hobbies I enjoyed (ballroom dancing, for example). Living at the time in Silicon Valley, I kept running into geeks who had never dated, and had no idea how to treat a woman, but learned how to be great dancers so they could get a date.
Now I am back on the family ranch, driving tractors, and taking dance lessons in my spare time. Most of the men out here have been married for decades. The single men I have encountered are mostly looking for a nurse with a purse, particularly at this stage of our lives. No thank you. I don’t think I am being picky. I am just trying to use some common sense here.
Hi Cindy….yes, online dating can be what I call one dimensional because you can end up making snap decisions about who someone is or isn’t from a picture. Whereas, in real life when you see his looks and personality combined, you are more likely to give him a chance. Now that being said, my clients have had amazing success online meeting great men. And that’s women in their 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s. The reason is…they have a clear vision of who they want using a tool called a Quality Man Template. It’s a deep dive into the patterns of men you’re always attracted to which is your type….but if your type worked, you’d be with him. Then they create a new type from where they are today not from what how they dated in their 20’s (which women and men default to because its what they know.) This opens the possibilities for a different type of man who they’d have never given a chance yet when they did, they find themselves in the best relationship of their life. It’s great you’re trying to meet men in real life as well. Not all men are looking for a nurse or a purse. Many are looking for a true partner. A guy is out there for you. Just keep getting yourself in places where you can meet whether its online or in real life. Wishing you the best.
I’m 64, recently widowed, wealthy and healthy. Not bad looking, not fat. I’m finding it impossible to find a female companion. On the dating sites, they are choosy and unresponsive, or ghost you the minute they realize you live a bit further away than they would like.
A lot of women seem ignorant of the fact that the U.S. Census Bureau estimates that each year, out of every 1,000 widowed men and women ages 65 and older, only 3 women (0.3%) and 17 (1.7%) men remarry (Clarke, 1995)). So ladies, listen up, your odds of finding another man at 60+ are NOT GOOD. Time to stop being so picky.
Hi , I think all of us in this demographic are picky to some degree. Set in our ways etc… And of the 1000 in that statistic, how many really wanted to remarry do you think? I would guess many just did not prioritize remarrying, we not capable for health or financial reasons or simply because they just did not want to remarry…. I find that the men I come across want me to be close to them as well. Its often times the deal breaker. I, on the other hand, see no problem with distance. In fact, I prefer it to a certain degree…
Well said Ersilia. Also when you’re over 50, you have more choices of how a man fits into your life than you did when you were in your 20’s. He can be a friend, a boyfriend, a friend with benefits (be careful on this one-its easy to get hurt), a long term relationship living together or apart or marriage. I work with a lot of women and I’d say the majority are looking for a long term relationship living together or apart. The financial issues that come up when it comes to marrying are something they don’t want to deal with. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I think both sexes are picky and it comes from fear of making a mistake. So instead of trying, if someone isn’t perfect, we go next. There is someone for you Gerry. It is a good idea to stay within a 2 hour drive of where you live so you can meet more often. Also get to meet-ups that have happy hours or dinners for people over 50. Best of luck to you!