How I’m Using My Wedding China
As I was setting my table on Thanksgiving, I performed a familiar ritual. I released my wedding China from its lofty hiding place in the kitchen, along with the captive silverware in its sturdy wooden chest. It occurred to me that these plates and cutlery have had an illustrious history.
Where the Story Began
When I was 19 years old, and unaware that anything untoward could happen in life, I chose the Lenox “Modern Profile” and Steiff “Williamsburg” patterns. At the time, when so many in my cohort were getting married, there were two destination stores in Philadelphia: J.E. Caldwell and Baily, Banks and Biddle. A young, betrothed woman could examine row upon row of China and silver patterns. That is how my two companions in life were chosen.
Being quite fortunate in my path up until that moment, my in-laws purchased an entire set of Modern Profile for 12, including the necessary serving pieces. My parents purchased the 100% solid silver place settings, surprisingly affordable at the time. My 19-year-old self and both sets of parents envisioned years of shared holidays, dining on this fine array.
As you well know, such fantasies never come true. Yes, the dishes were whipped out like clockwork for about eight years. But then, the plot changed drastically. At the age of 29, my husband was killed in an avalanche on Mt. Rainier.
A Continued Use
At this moment, I’m wondering why I held onto the dishes. All sad remnants of a life which-was-never-to-be were removed from my house: his clothing, our skis, secret mementos, and any other sad reminders that the future we envisioned would not occur. The dishes and silver remained, along with his tiny daughter!
A bit of fast-forwarding is in order. A new husband eventually came onto the scene. There were 18 years when I was married to a very good man, who kindly adopted my daughter, and we added a new little brother. He brought a large, loving family of about 9 new adults and ever-increasing numbers of little ones. These new relatives enjoyed the China and silver at the holidays for many years.
Uncontrolled fate again surfaced when various circumstances, some from the original tragedy, and some unrelated, caused that marriage to end, but the dishes and silver endured.
It was now time to parade out our finest when my daughter brought her partner’s relatives around. There were two significant families through the years. Again, new introductions to Ms. Modern Profile and Mr. Williamsburg. Sadly, both of those families moved on after her relationships ended, although the dishes performed an encore recently when we met her new husband and his family.
The Tale Continues
It is now 51 years since the original marital purchase. The dishes and silver look brand new. I do not! As mentioned, I have been a widow, remarried twice, raised two children who are well on their way in adulthood, and have hosted a passing parade of “family” in my home for the hundreds of holidays between 1972 and 2023.
I was not enveloped with sadness when I set out the place settings this Thanksgiving. Instead, I was awed by the reminder of the resiliency I’d developed through the years, all due to the many adaptations needing to be made to the unexpected events life inevitably proffers. I also know that everyone in my stage of life has done the same.
I’m feeling welcoming and grateful for all those guests who, by unpredictable circumstances and chance, happen to be around my table. I also feel a kinship with the plates and forks that have accompanied me every step of the way!
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Do you have any possessions which evoke strong memories? Have you ever been tempted to either eliminate or preserve any items from the past because of their emotional significance?
Tags Holidays
Enjoyed the essay very much. Yes, I also relive nostalgic times when I use the few pieces left of my grandmother’s dishes, which were used through years of holidays dating from my earliest memories. These were not part of an immigrant’s trousseau, but pieces given out by movie theaters in the 1930s and 40s. These few plates and my mother’s silver (missing many pieces now) continue the tradition of holiday dinners and bring back the years and people who have gone before.
Renee’, you’re a fine writer (this compliment from another pro writer, so feel good).
This bittersweet essay raises many thoughts in my mind and heart, and I’m sure
many others as well. I have similar items going back generations (“they came across
the Missouri River in the 1800s”) and will bring them out as long as possible unless and
until my one child (perhaps) brings interested grandchildren along. If not, I will take them to a charity store (but include an essay about their origin, just in case anyone cares.) CV
It never occurred to me to purchase wedding china because that wasn’t something that was done in my culture. However, my mother-in-law had China and we spent many holidays eating from it. When my mother-in-law downsized to a senior apartment, she gave me the China as well as her less elegant but very cheerful patterned yellow dishes. After my divorce, I gave the China to my daughter and now at holiday time, we all use the still cheerful yellow “everyday” dishes for our family meals. I believe they were supermarket giveaways in the 1950’s!
I’ve never had any fancy dishes or silver. And if I did and some got broken, it would be very upsetting. But then, they are only ‘things’ and most likely replaceable. Would the family occasions be any less served on paper plates? Like the saying about why save your luxurious underwear for special occasions… isn’t every day special? Have your morning toast on the porcelain, drink your tea from crystal. You are special and you know it!
Such a cool story and way of looking at life through these dishes. I’ve got my mother’s wedding set which saw usage once. No one wants to be saddled with dishes that need to be hand washed anymore (these have the gold edging). She asked me to sell them for her but it doesn’t really make sense to sell them as cheaply as one must nowadays. So they sit in my basement. (She doesn’t care about the money and gave them to me to sell or keep.)
Sometimes I wonder if I should just use them until they inevitably break – we’re not so careful as you and yours must be, except, though I find them beautiful, my taste runs more to pottery than fine china.